EEK! There's a woman in my room! - page 10

Since the "man in my room" thread got closed, I thought I would try a different track. I want to focus on something a little different. :idea: We know the emotional responses we got to the idea... Read More

  1. by   Farmer Jane
    Congratulations on that baby!

    I am horrified by this thread. Up until now I had never heard of such barbaric treatment. What I was taught, and what I do, is to ignore it and cover the patient (I keep them covered as much as possible anyway). I would consider this act sexual assault and hope that if anyone is aware of this happening now that they go to the police.

    As for the recommendation to give a quick firm hold at the base of the penis, um, isn't that pretty much a hand job? And do the instructors giving this advice not realize this??

    ETA: I accommodate wishes as I can. I have worked in a very small hospital where they may only be three nurses in the entire building, so if the patient was not comfortable with any one of us then while we'll explain this compassionately the patient gets to decide whether or not he or she wants care.
    Last edit by Farmer Jane on Dec 6, '08
  2. by   SunnyAndrsn
    Congratulations, from another parent through adoption.

    Quote from 58flyer
    I have messaged some of you here with my latest news but after looking back over this thread I think there may be others who may want to know.

    My wife and I have been trying to adopt for over a year now and a little over a month ago the adoption finally came through! We are now the parents of a baby boy! It's been exciting and a real adventure. What a learning curve! Family, friends, and neighbors are just as excited as we.

    Sterile or not, I AM A DAD! What a blessing this has been!

  3. by   GadgetRN71
    58flyer, congratulations!!!!
  4. by   Lavslady
    Awesome news 58flyer! Congratulation!
  5. by   cardiacRN2006
    I cried tears of joy when I first heard this from you. What a wonderful holiday this will be for your family!
  6. by   CaDad
    Ladies, where in the world does this lunicy and mis-information come from? For your information Men, Males, Boys, all of us are just as modest if not more modest than our counterparts!!!!! I have a rule of thumb, if you would not want you or your daughter to be viewed or exposed to a member of the opposite sex-then don't do it to us!!! JUst because we shower or urinate together in the rest room does not mean we want to be on public display!!! I find it interesting that a female nurse or Doctor could care less if males have any modesty issues at all and are staunchly opposed to any suggestion that we change the way things are, but let a female patient complain, or request privacy and the staff can't move fast enough. There is a double standard and it needs to end!!!!
  7. by   bubbabubba
    You are so right on your comments. I am to have an operation this week and asked about having a male do the prep work on me (it is urological)-- I got a run around and will have to ask on the operation day...A woman would have NO problem with this......
    Yes, there is a double standard in regard to same gender preference on nursing care...

  8. by   mamamerlee
    First of all, congrats on your wonderful news.

    Second, I have never heard of inflicting pain deliberately in such a horrible manner. I am a nurse for 35 years. And respect and privacy are for everyone.

    When I was in nursing school in the early 70's, male patients in most areas were cathed by male nurses or orderlies (remember them?). Except on the neuro floor, where there were usually some pts who needed q6hr straight caths. This was our only chance to learn how to cath men.

    In my most recent years, I have been a home health nurse, and have cathed many, many patients, both sexes. Fewer choices for the patient as to caregivers, so we try to tell the pt as best we can that we will try to accommodate their preferences, but may not always be able to.

    I, too, have had more than a few male patients that asked for special services - can you apply some lotion 'down there'? I think I have a sore on my privates, can you look?

    Also, I worked in dialysis for a long time. Some men spent the better part of their time with their hands under a blanket touching themselves. Are they not aware that we can tell what they are doing?

    Yes, all patients deserve respect and privacy. Doesn't the staff deserve the same?
  9. by   CaDad
    bubbabubba, I would not wait -it is just a runaround If whoever you are talking to says this again, go to their supervisors and keep going up the ladder. Their best ploy is to tell you at the last minute there are no male nurses available. I have been through this and I am telling you the truth. They think once they are there you will relent. You may have to reschedule when there is a male nurse available-you have to be persistent-they hate requests from us like this. They think were like cars-seen one seen them all-well it is easy for them to assume that since they are the ones clothed and were the ones not. It just kills me.
  10. by   advo-kate2
    I would like to take the rare opportunity to help in understanding patient vs. nurses confusion. This post is for all in due respect:
    First: Thanks to the nurses who posted that although they had never thought of the issue, it would help them consider it in the future.
    Second: We need to consider that all people use modesty in all forms of daily life, and do not expose randomly, especially to complete strangers. The difficult thing for some patients is that they do not view people in
    medical careers as different from most other strangers. One might make exceptions for same gender exposure in situations such as swimming showers, dressing rooms, public restrooms, and necessary proceedures. Opposite gender exposure is reserved for spouses and s/o's. Would nurses use showers where both genders are exposed? Restrooms? Would female nurses want their husbands to expose themselves to me, and random female strangers? Would anyone here be comfortable with random exposure to the opposite gender?
    Medical people to some patients are just that....strangers. Just regular men and women that have no special entitlements or priviledges to our bodies. In short, you are just like any other man to a woman or any other woman to a man. If you look at these feelings in this way, it is easy to understand why patients have a hard time understanding why nurses believe they are an exception to exposure rules, and/or never considered patients not wanting opposite gender exposure. The problem is usually, everyone gets upset at each other before we have an earnest opportunity to discuss these things.
  11. by   zone9
    Interesting topic.
  12. by   CaDad
    Hi Advo-kate2:
    That was really well written and I think you hit the nail on the head.
    I might also add , for a lot of people ,it is their first experience in a hospital setting like this.
    Traumatising does not actually convey the full impact a lot of pt's experience.. A lot of males are so dumbfunded at the calloused disregard of their privacy that we really do not know what to do!!!! ( its is actually pretty easy to notice: our feeble attempt at small talk, inappropriate jokes or flertation, etc)But I can assure you of one thing, they won't be back ,regardles of how serious a conditin can be. It is why we males, just won't go to the doctor, as silly as you may think that is.
    So when your DAd, Brother, Boyfriend, Husband or son just won't get that check up or address something causing them discomfort ,you know why. It is one of those things we just won't contend with or talk about.
    I don't see how dialog on this subject is going to be helpful actually, the female nurses in general refuse to acknowledge or address the issue. It is considered childish and stupid. Something more needs to happen, perhaps a class in PT emotional care would help or some litigation, ( worst possible scenero) may adress this. BUt adresss it we must, it is the only reational thing to do.
  13. by   tbrd450
    OMG! I can not believe such a "flicking" or "thumping" practice was ever considered remotely appropriate. And, If I'm not mistaken from one of the subsequent posts, it wasn't that long ago that the practice was joked about in a particular modern-day nursing class. What does that actually mean? Is it possible there are some medical professionals out there today practicing under the following assumptions:

    1) Male penile erections are always voluntary?
    2) It is okay to knowingly cause pain by assaulting a patient's genitals?
    3) If you suspect the erection was voluntary, it is then appropriate to assault the patient?

    Please tell me that nurses are directly and explicity taught, as part of the nursing school curriculum now days, that this is not an option of "treatment." This reminds me of the old practice of putting leaches on a sick patient to "draw out the sickness."

    Seriously though, after reading about this man's ordeal how are we to feel about leaving our sons in hospitals overnight? Is it possible some nurses/medical professionals could actually think this is okay in this "modern" age? From all the responses it appears everyone is clearly shocked by this. That's the good news. However, a few nurses posted that they had heard of it, known it was taught in some places in the past and fairly recently even joked about in one class. I hope the jokster finished her lecture with "Serously though... you shouldn't do that to your patients"