Do you have friends at work?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I don't mean "work friends" that you talk to and spend time with only while on the clock; I mean friends who you would gladly meet for lunch or go shopping with on your day off. I'm talking about the kind of friend who knows your husband's nasty little habit that drives you up the wall and your hidden vices. Did you make any of those types of friends at work?

I never have. I made one of those kinds of friends in nursing school but once I entered the actual field I never felt comfortable with any of my co-workers to actively pursue a friendship outside of the place of employment.

I wonder if this is a unique phenomenon exclusive to facility nursing. My friends that work in traditional office settings find it easy to make friends at work. I have expanded my associate circle immensely through my friends and their coworker friendships. How come it's so difficult to cultivate those same types of relationships in health care?

Do you find yourself in a similar situation?

Specializes in NICU, PICU, educator.

We have a very cohesive group and there are several "groups", mind you not cliques, but ones that migrate towards each other, ie younger moms, moms of teens (and yes dads!), etc. We do a lot of things with and for each other. We will go root on our kids together, we have even been in DR with some of them, we have had fundraiser when some were stricken with cancer and we have cried over lost parents together.

I work with a very special group of 90 people! And many of them are true friends like I have never had before!

Specializes in Cardiac Nursing, ICU.

To the OP...I feel the same way. I will be cordial to co-workers but I don't talk much about my personal life. They are sooooo catty, even the men. I can't stand it. I mean some, not all, nurses stand at the station and criticize their peers. Let's not get started on when you need help. Where I work, it's sink or swim...at least that's the way it is on dayshift. I hope nights will be better. I think that this phenonmenon occurs everywhere. Some people are not a good fit for where they're working.

Some people have the mindset that work is work and if I make friends good, some people only come to work for friends (gossip, whatever), some people are just there to do their job, and some don't care...Where do you fit in?

Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

I'm right there.....I've made a lot of friends in NS, and know I'll be close to quite a few of them for a long time....Work? I'm always friendly..we talk about our "outside" lives, and I'm happy to get together if invited. However, I'm the new kid on the block, and my job is changing from tech to RN....so I think as I prove myself it will become more open....There is a work party this friday for a few people at someone's house, so I'll probably put in a appearance, and make an effort....

This coming from the self proclaimed "shy kid"......

Specializes in Med/Surg, Tele, IM, OB/GYN, neuro, GI.

I was just talking about this with one of my friends.

To me work is work. I have no problem having work friends but I won't go to the get togethers or girls night outs. I've only seen problems with people who do this. It's not that it can't be done it's just that some people can't get over something that happened at Happy Hour on Friday and will have a grudge with the other person on Monday. I have seen people quit and get fired over stuff that had happened over the weekends and let spill back into the next work week and effect their working with the other person. I think I've only been "out" with co-workers twice. Once a Christmas party and the other our bosses wedding. Both these times on returning to work the other co-workers couldn't believe that I didn't drink and talked about the others that couldn't hold their's down which is why I didn't do anything.

Specializes in UR/PA, Hematology/Oncology, Med Surg, Psych.

My closest friend and I work for the same employer and met at work. Of course, it took lots of time and sharing for the friendship to grow so close and trusting.

Specializes in Medical.

Maybe it's because I still work at the hospital I trained at, and we had to make friends with our fellow students or drown. Whatever the reason, since I started nursing the majority of my friends have been people I did or do work with.

I'm single, which give me a little more time for socialising, but I'm studying and have other time commitments, so I don't think that's just it. Although I'm friendly with pretty much everyone (and there aren't any big rifts between anyone), my good friends from work range in age from early twenties to late forties.

I talk to friends from work most days - today I chatted on the phone for over an hour to one, texted another twice, got a text from one telling me that his girlfriend accepted his proposal this morning, and planned to meet up five ex-pats when I go to Europe in a couple of months.

It no doubt helps that I work on a very social ward - we have regular informal nights out, group events (like bowling, putting at a range, movies, plays), and a riotous Christmas party paid out of ward fund raising (with a meal for those who have to work on the ward that night). We're facebook friends (including my boss), have a ward facebook group (for past and present staff, including doctors, allied health and pharmacists).

That said, this atmosphere of friendly collegiality is something we work at - I'm head of the morale committee and when the ward's heavy or flat we up the events so people have an opportunity to blow off steam.

I couldn't imagine working any other way. And although we have our share of sniping and work place dysfunction, there's very little malicious gossip and no undermining or sabotage.

I learned very quickly who I can trust and who I can't. The nurse who trained me isn't all that older than I am so we're pretty close at work, but not so much outside. I have several close friends that I've been friends with since elementary school, so I never feel like I'm missing something. I go to work, I socialize, then I leave it there. We also have a couple people who are widely known to be backstabbers and you never discuss anything with them beyond "can you waste some ____ with me?"

I have an interview tomorrow for a new job and I'm pretty sure if I get it, I won't keep in contact with people at my current job, and I'm ok with that.

Specializes in Home Health.

Years ago I always attempted to make friends at work. Only one or two would actually make it to be my friend. The problem was they were not friends and only after the manager would talk to me I would find out they were talking and complaining behind my back. We even went out once a week and kept in touch on days off. I cant count the number of times in 12 yrs it happened. Now I look forward to working with some people but thats as far as it goes.

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