Disclosing personal info to patients

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I work in a small rural hospital. I work weekends only, 12 hr shifts 7a-7p. What do you say when you are asked quite often your religion, when you go to church, what church you attend, are you married, children, etc? I've even been asked on a Sunday no less, have I heard the truth concerning Jesus Christ and have I accepted him as my personal savior. I've been offered bibles that my religion would frown upon. I was born and raised Catholic but my current hours do not allow me to attend church, which I already feel guilty about. I hate saying "none of your business" which it isn't. Once, I disclosed to an elderly woman when she asked if I was married, dating or had kids that I had none of the above. She called me an old maid and said that the odds of me getting married at my age are less than me being involved in a terrorist attack. I've been asked the exact location of my house, my parents names, etc. Not all of these people who ask are elderly, some are middle age and should know better.

Sometimes I feel like lying and say I'm married, with 2 kids, and I'm atheist and I live on Mars.

What do you say when asked these questions? How do I tactfully put that their questions are out of line and have nothing to do with the care I provide? Oh, and I've been told countless times I'm going to hell for working on a Sunday.

Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

an old maid at 27!! Poor dear! You must be working on such a sinful day to take your mind off of that!

Seriously. Some people have no tact whatsoever. And i don't want to hear old age or otherwise gives some people carte blanche to say what they want.

In dealing with personal questions I would often just answer vaguely and change the subject. As far as having a patient lay into you for working on Sunday - well - someone's gotta be there. Would they rather be in an empty hospital because all the staff is worried about going to hell??

Specializes in nursery, L and D.

Well who the he-- would take care of them on Sundays if everyone was at church? I always say "I do gods work here" if I get the you are going to hell comment (for working on Sundays, if I get it otherwise, thats another thread, :rolleyes: :rotfl: ). I don't go to church either, b/c I haven't found one I really like and I do work lots of weekends. Being in OB I talk about my kids alot, but we have lots of people that aren't married and have no kids, so I will ask them what they say when asked about this. If I really don't want to tell them about the family stuff I say "We aren't allowed to give out personal information, for safety reasons". Of course then you run the risk of having them say "well soandso told me all about her life". Religious issues I really try to avoid, but if I can't I'll say "I don't feel comfortable talking with you about this, would you like me to call the Chaplin?" And the next time someone says you are going to hell for working on Sundays tell them you will see them there, :devil: .

Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.

Nursing is God's work everyday of the week but besides that it's nobody's business when you work, if you go to church, what religion, etc....I consider that personal information. I reply "That's personal" and let it go.

I don't mind them asking if I have children, how old? etc...but I don't give out much more than age and gender. I have to get a feel for the patient before I decide how much I want to share with them.

Specializes in Utilization Management.

Don't ministers work on Sundays?

Specializes in NICU.

I usually get a feel for the patient before I go telling them anything. I really don't mind telling my little old ladies where i went to college or where i graduated high school. I live in a small town and usually I get to hear their stories of going to the same highschool or how they used to tailgate for the same college football team many years ago when they were young and able. If my patient is creepy and prying info out of me then that is one thing. But I don't see a problem in telling my patients a little bit about myself. It makes them feel they know me more personally and I think they trust me more.

Specializes in ICU.

When patients/families ask me if I am married or have kids, I say "no, I have a dog." That is usually good at changing the topic.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

There's nothing wrong with saying "That's personal, I'd rather not answer....."

I don't sweat the small stuff and if patients ask if I'm married, have pets, family, etc. or go to church, I'm just honest. Usually they aren't being nosy, but just making friendly conversation and it's part of the nurse patient rapport to be friendly. No I'm not going into intimate details of my personal and spritiual life, but nothing wrong with say "no I'm not married" or "I have two dogs but no children".

99.9999% the conversation goes well. And for the .00001 who says I'm goingt o burn in hell, or I'm more likely to get attacked by terrorists, I just let it go.

I've been fortunate and most patients respect boundaries. I've never had one ask my address or very intimate details. You do have to set limits and politely say "I don't discuss these things." and let it go.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
When patients/families ask me if I am married or have kids, I say "no, I have a dog." That is usually good at changing the topic.

I was going to say the same thing. I always bring the conversation around to my dogs. I love talking dogs.

Specializes in Med/Surg.

I had an old grumpy patient one night. Snapped at everyone, complained that he couldn't sleep. I offered to get him some milk if that would help. "It won't do anything, I worked nights for 30 years."

I asked him where, and it ended up that he had worked in a factory with most of my family members. I told him my dad and grandpa had worked there, and told him who my grandpa was. Everyone knows my grandpa. After that, he was a heck of a lot nicer to me, because he knew my family and that I was "good people."

I don't give my full life story out to every patient, but I'll share some info if they ask.

Nothing wrong with sidestepping the most personal questions. My friend, an unmarried lady of 50, always says she kissed too many frogs looking for a prince and decided to stop looking and enjoy her life. Church can be attended by TV if nothing else. And nothing wrong with saying you do not discuss personal matters. One of the guys always says, "I'm too tired to look, I answer too many questions about why I'm single". Patients, got to wonder why they feel entitled to ask some of the questions they do ask. I think it is because we see the "tucus" more than their mates do at times. LOL.

Specializes in Critical Care.

I live in a small rural community too. And as previously posted, most people are just making conversation to be friendly, or try to get more comfortable with being a patient. We know so much about our patients, and they know so little about everything they have to deal with. I love to talk 'dogs' too (no kids). As for the church thing, it hasn't been an issue here. There are often other church services other than Sunday morning. People here are pretty practical and realize you can't close the ICU just because it's Sunday. More often we get thank you's for being there off hours/weekends/holidays. Sometimes the questions can seem pretty personal. If someone seems to be probing too hard, I ask them questions back (questions about them, not "why do you ask") to change the topic. Sort of the Jeopardy game approach. The more light hearted I can keep things, the better it seems to go. If I take things too seriously, it is more likely to go down hill.

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