Dear preceptor - page 9

Dear preceptor.. I came to you smiling, full of energy and ready to tackle the last leg of my orientation journey, with your guidance of course. I haven't really gotten any inclination on where that... Read More

  1. by   SweetDreamsRN
    I have experienced that type of negativity more than a few times from other nurses. One thing I have learned is that it is easy to become part of that negativity and lose focus of what matters (optimal patient care). As difficult as it may be to do this I recommend to NEVER "take the bait" do not allow that person to"hook" you into their perverse behaviors and just try to let it roll off of you. I believe that for me I can always learn something in any situation especially about what you DO NOT want to become: petty and bitter. Just set the highest standard that you can set for yourself and be consistent.I believe that it is important to be neutral and flexible when you have to interact with difficult people. Our lives and our time is precious so we owe it to ourselves to make the best of things. I would try to communicate in an honest diplomatic manner with my preceptor and convey that I am an asset to be utilized
  2. by   Ivanna_Nurse
    I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who have read, understood and offered support. It is lovely to see that I have the support of you gals and guys. Thanks a bunch, and Happy New Year! ~Ivanna
  3. by   Bubbles_RN
    Wow - after reading everyones responsed I must say I feel blessed to have had such fabulous preceptee expriences.

    However I have been witness to some terrible precepting, and your letter Ivanka reminds me to actually see the person I am precepting, not just the "newbie".
  4. by   dawnsternlpn
    find the silver now know how NOT to act when you are in her shoes She seems to have been trying to gain notice by belittling you ...very sad is the person who trys for acknowledgment at anothers expense. Lesson: always respect your supervisors, peers, your CNA's , dietary , housekeeping and especially respitory staff ( don't forget your patients & their families.... NOT IN THE WORK PLACE...THAT WOULD MAKE YOU WORSE THAN:bowingpur HER. HAPPY NEW YEAR
  5. by   Randysbarn1963
    Well I guess I am not surprised, I have seen this myself, I have felt this myself and I have reported the person that actually was inflicting this pain on others. I as a male found this clinical instructor to be the most knowledgeable and (worthless) person in any place of authority. She had the opportunity to be a mentor that we would look up to for the rest of our lives. Instead she chose to belittle and degrade us to the point that we no longer listened to her. She insulted us from day one after she sweet talked us into letting our guards down.She told her life experiences and her accreditation's, then she asked us what experiences we had. Something from the start said Randy don't do it! I should have listened to the voice in my head. I was the last one in our class to offer up my experiences and it was the last time I offered ANY knowledge on ANY subject relating to health care. I had previous experience in the ER, ICU, and 3 1/2 years in the Dialysis Unit. Not to mention I was a Paramedic as well. The second I finished, We were all told how we Didn't know (*&^%) (crap) about anything and we were told to keep our mouths shut from there on OUT. Word for word! She was pulled out of retirement TWICE, to be a preceptor/clinical instructor. She told us how she didn't want to be there in the first place and it showed! She was 70 something years old so you know she was from the OLD school for sure. Do I have to tell you she HATED MEN. and I knew it! I was told by other male students who had her, That I was in trouble from day one. She rode me like a dog! She gave me a patient one evening that she was sure, Going to rip me apart. This older patient, a woman also hated men. It was well known, and I was told this by the nurses on the floor as well. I still laugh when I think about how I had that very patient eating out of my hand by the (NIGHTS END). It fried the preceptors butt to see how I handled that patient with professionalism, respect and authority! It was my pleasure to report her to the Dean of Nursing prior to starting our hospital clinical time! She (the Dean) promised that this Clinical instructor would NEVER be asked back to the college. I checked the next year just to make sure, and she was GONE! What a GREAT chance she missed out on, to be so useful to the students that were there to depend on guidance from her. It was her loss. My best to you from here on out. You will be GREAT as a Preceptor!
  6. by   longlegsintexas
    I relate so much to your letter to your preceptor, because I have dealt with these preceptors myself! I hope we all remember the way we felt when we, ourselves, become preceptors for new nurses.
  7. by   arissy29
    wow, sounds like you had my preceptor. although at the end of my preceptorship, she gave me a glowing evaluation. I was soo shocked I nearly broke out in tears. Just grin and bear it! We've all been through that. And the saying sadly still lives on...nursing eats their youngs!
  8. by   carolmdege
    I'm really sorry about this, but not surprise. I'm 64yrs. old and have been an RN,
    bsn for 33 yrs.
    I oriented to the ER at a suburban hospital outside philly. HORRIBLE When i wanted to "just wipe off and elderly woman, my preceptor said "we don't do this here" We were not busy at this point and she then reported me and said that she wouldn't want me to even take care of her mother. Her, an RN 3yr. Me33yrs. They including the nurse educator never made policy and procedure info availabe after i had asked many time.

    I was her aide, and she wouldn't let me take lunch. Nurses, we need to help and take care of each other., we did years ago. I left the hospital, but let my feelings be known, Magnet status, never there as long as I'm alive
    Last edit by carolmdege on Jan 6, '10 : Reason: punctuation
  9. by   camoflower
    I am 53, been a nurse, RN, 9 months, (without any CNA/LPN experience) had two horrible preceptors..just horrible miserable humanodes (one got fired for stealing narcodics since). I got hired on a floor with a very high turnover, with a group "click" (girls with 3 years together), picking me to death with glee, a floor manager that turns a deaf ear and a blind eye, who knows I bite my tongue. I finally began my counterattack, which went.. "....I saw where you did not start your antibiotics yesterday".."did you mean to leave those oxy-codone in the room with Mr. so n so..didn't they go to the room next door..I never leave meds in someone elses room!!??", "the lady in room 9 said you promised to Heplock her IV 2 hours prior to me Heplocking it-she was quite upset"..."you got those orders to begin 2 Units of blood over 7 hours prior to me coming on ...where you that busy..I feel so sorry for you?"...ended with dont worry I did not tell the manager ..sorry your so busy.. OMG am I joining them??? HOWEVER..they have totally stopped the "nit picking" and are given me more respect..and I am handling 6 patients. I pray daily, hourly at times!! I even told one nurse the next time she tells everyone that I charted a pill on a wrong patient...she is never gonna hear the end of me and I will take it to the floor manager..cause I see her errors everyday, everywhere, I just deal with them!! They used to make me so nervous I thought about quitting everyday! Now I know, and you must know, they aren't perfect, like nursing school drills into your head-be perfect, nobody is perfect. My perspective, 9 month later, is much better, I still study when I go home, I take good notes and rewrite them over and over adding to anything I of the floor nurses went through "my typed notes-entitled for the new nurse on the floor" or "what to do when a patient falls" and begged me to copy them for the new nurses coming to the floor, and for the ones that ask her questions....its full of little tips, that preceptors forget to tell, because WE ARE SOO BUSY on the floor. Nursing is my life! I wish I'd done this years ago!! I will never ever ever be ugly to new new nurses! (or old ones) They don't deserve it!
  10. by   Mas Catoer
    Just happy to know that you had gone through it with no incidence, that you even took a good learn from it. A *positive* base for someday if you are given a chance to be a preceptor. I got almost a same kind experience when I was a newly graduated nurse, I got even an abusive words just like she was poorly educated preceptor. You know, as a male nurse I was about to present her a slap on the face, but I was able to stay with my conscience. Now as a senior nurse and a teacher, I always treat all yunior with care, eventhough some of them are really total jerks to be taught.
    Then hope you are going to be one among the good nurses on earth... ^_^
  11. by   Dorito
    I still cannot understand why this behavior persists. After the way I was treated 30 years ago when I started nursing I swore I wouldn't treat others this way and I have gone above and beyond to make sure that new nurses felt accepted and at ease with questions. I did not have a chance to read all the posts and I'm sure someone suggested asking your manager if there is perhaps another preceptor that you could work with. Sometimes there are just personalitiy differences that are hard to get past. Otherwise, maybe bring her a little gift to soften her up a bit?? Best of luck to you. Stay strong and keep your chin up. We made it through and just vow to be a great preceptor for others in the future!
  12. by   RoxyDi
    It is too bad your experience was negative. Don't let it repeat itself with you - that will be the best revenge! Because of this, you will undoubtedly be a great preceptor if and when you choose to be one. I personally loved being a preceptor, but then again, I love teaching. Even some of the best nurses don't, and they shouldn't be forced into being preceptors!
  13. by   dudette10
    Quote from RN_that_was_bullied
    If the woman at the desk did nothing - she also participated in the bullying.
    Hi. I'm not sure if I completely agree with this. Addressing only the interpersonal--not the professional nurse aspect because I'm not starting nursing SCHOOL until Monday AND not addressing the OP's situation directly--could it be that one who does not do anything is 1) trying to stay out of it, 2) knows the nurse's reputation/personality and wishes to neither encourage nor engage with the bully, and 3) is committed to just working her butt off with a personally drama-free shift?

    With bullies, especially professionally, an effective way to get them to stop is to not give them a supportive audience NOR to challenge them. Eventually, they won't seek your ear to spew their hatred, and they won't target you, either. If everyone did that, there would be fewer adult bullies, I would hope. Why isn't it "ok" to just not become a lackey? In all my previous jobs and studies, I have been especially good at finding/attracting the people who don't complain and just work their asses off, while staying out of the line of sight of the bullies and complainers who are desperate for more people to follow them. Somehow, I've gained the respect of my non-nursing professional peers and fellow students for doing so. Calm, intentional non-action is noticeable to those seeking the same.

    In fact, if it was clear that I wasn't listening to the bully--actually, actively ignoring them (I have that facial expression down pat)--and a professional peer called me out for my "inaction," I would be extremely angry for a peer asking me to take sides. There are more sides to a conflict than just the "good" ones and the "bad" ones. There are also those who only wish to stay out off the "playground" and get their stuff done.