Dear preceptor

Ok, so this is a vent. I apologize for the length of this post. Please note that this is not meant to be a general statement of my opinion on a whole group of people. Don't flame me. I'm mad and tired and don't have anyone else to tell. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Dear preceptor.. I came to you smiling, full of energy and ready to tackle the last leg of my orientation journey, with your guidance of course. I haven't really gotten any inclination on where that guidance is at. You tell me what patients to take, and I take them. Then when I am at the bedside, communicating with the family (you know that rapport thing?), you decide that it is a great time to tell me *not to touch the patient*, or the machines for that matter unless you are there. What? I did not fall off of the nursing school wagon yesterday. I am new to your facility, but not a new grad. I did get a smug sense of satisfaction when the family told you it was fine and I was handling things.

I see that you do not have any intention of assessing my skill level or evaluating areas in which I need assistance. In your eyes, I have no skill level or even brain stem function because every action on my part is met by you with some sort of resistance or interrogation. You cant wait for me to come out of the bathroom before you call the doc... making me look like some sort of fool that cant call the doctor. Lo and behold the toilet flushes and I am greeted with 75 orders, all of which you *write* but make me *do*. Although I am a critical care nurse, and am comfortable with bedside procedures, it is *imperative * on your part to ensure that I am educated on sterile fields and how to open packages. That makes me feel so great, especially with the doc at the bedside.

Precepting with you has given me a great opportunity to practice dealing with "the cold shoulder, being aloof and unapproachable." I *know* that you aren't any of those things, just preparing me for when I run into someone who is. Thanks! I am now well versed in forced conversation, fake enthusiasm, and being lonely but not alone.

I have been practicing my mental, telepathic and psychic abilities... seeing as how there isn't any verbal interaction between us, its time to take it up a notch. *places fingertips to temples* Can you hear me now?

Here is an interesting thought. You breeze in, tell me how the lights have to be like this, and these lines need to be like this and so on. I am respectful of those requests. I like things a certain way too.. try to be mindful of that. The road goes both ways here. The same goes for documentation. Maybe you could ask me why I wrote a certain thing before you scratch it out and write error... although all the extra embellishments make my flow sheet look freakin fantastic, right?

When I ask you about something, especially when its a policy and the rationale for not following it... I just love when you get mean and flash those *knowing* looks to all your friends at the desk.

Precepting with you has been quite the experience, and as life goes, all things must come to an end. Now that our journey is finished, know that I will *never* forget you.

Love, your preceptee

Are you sure you didn't train in the same place that I did.

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I guess sometimes there are preceptors who need a break but nurse managers don't let them have any free time :(

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

I've seen really good preceptors. And I've seen some that shouldn't try to teach someone how to make toast.

Try to remember this for one reason; when it's your turn to be the preceptor, you'll know how NOT to precept.

Do what I did. Once the "chain" was off, I found the most experienced nurses on the floor who didn't use a broomstick for transportation and asked them to let me watch/help if they were doing anything unusual, always tried to be helpful. They could figure out pretty quickly that I wanted to learn, wasn't afraid to work or get dirty and they helped me.

These same nurses have left the department, and are campaigning for me to transfer to their units soon as I get the RN. It does get better.

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I could write that same letter and title it "Dear Charge Nurse"--it's so unfortunate, but sometimes people are handed a little bit of power, be it a preceptor position or a charge position or what have you and all of a sudden they think they rule the world! KUDOS to you for sticking it out, and like so many others have said, just remember all of the things NOT to do when that almighty power is bestowed upon you...

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Specializes in CCU MICU Rapid Response.
Are you sure you didn't train in the same place that I did.
you never know..
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So sad. I have been an Rn for 4.5 years. I just started working as a preceptor. I had an Nurse Extern this past summer and a leadership student this fall. I love it. I have her follow me the first night then I follow her the second night. I assess her skills and have her watch me. She has taught me so much. In my opionin, if you dont like to teach stop working. how does she teach her patients.

they say nurses eat their young. Maybe they are right.

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Wow. I have had very similar experiences, and so have many of my nurse friends. It can be very difficult to deal with. My suggestions are to kindly address them to her, and when that most likely doesn't work, go to the unit manager! You deserve someone who can act like a professional and she/he should not be the teaching role if they cannot maintain that standard. Teaching is a gift, not a matter of experience.

If nothing is done to correct this behavior, this nurse will continue to belittle the other nurses coming behind you in your shoes, and trust me, if it is a new grad nurse, I pity him/her. We have enough problems...:twocents:

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Specializes in Telemetry, Oncology, Progressive Care.

I can really relate. Fortunately at my first job I had wonderful preceptors. I floated b/w the same two preceptors for the most part.

When I started at my currently job I had the preceptor from he!!. I talked to my manager about it and she apologized to me and said she had a lack of preceptors b/c I was one of 3 new nurses. She said she'd try her best to put me with other people. It made my whole experience bad. I precept people now and I am so not like that with my preceptees. I try to make it a positive and stress free experience. Well maybe not stress free (heck nursing is not stress free) but I keep it conducive to learning. To this day I don't talk to my preceptor if I can avoid it. I dislike her a great deal and I believe she knows it. Actually not many people like her. Patients/families complain about her (I work on oncology floor) and she is the most unempathetic person I've ever met. I work in a university setting. The way she treats the interns/residents is terrible. She thinks it is ok to yell and belittle them. That's just not my style. Also, her negativity really gets to me. She spends 12 hours straight complaining. Nothing is ever good enough. I used to work her weekend and switched just so I wouldn't have to work with her so much. I keep hoping she will retire soon. She is very knowledgeable but when you ask her a question it takes forever to get the answer from her. I have just learned to avoid her like the plague.

See if you can change preceptors. If not just remember it's not forever.

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Specializes in Med/Surg/Onc, LTAC.

You have a skill in writing! Crappy what happened to you, but the 'letter' was a great read!

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Specializes in CCU MICU Rapid Response.
You have a skill in writing! Crappy what happened to you, but the 'letter' was a great read!

thanks! *sincerely* It felt sooo good writing it :devil:

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

Okay. Fine. There are terrible preceptors. I don't condone that- the ones who belittle you, try to make you feel stupid, don't teach you anything. Ivanna, your preceptor was definitely a real piece of work- and not in a good way!! And the "great" preceptors who really enjoy doing it- they are out there and I admire them so much- they give so much to the nurses they teach. They just have a knack for it and it's a wonderful, needed gift.

But there are also "okay" preceptors too, and I'm tired of reading in these threads "if they don't want to precept they should get out". It's not that easy. When you have to teach and precept no matter what, even if you say you don't want to, there really is no choice if you want to keep your job. And it's a lot different teaching families and patients, than it is teaching new nurses.

I wish there was a way for it to be ALL "great" preceptors, but there aren't enough of them to go around.

Please take this as a vent also, from someone burned out from doing this too much; and a recent really bad precepting experience that took a lot out of me and made me reconsider ever doing it again. I don't let the nurses I precept know that I wish I didn't have to do it; it's certainly not their fault. I am kind to the nurses I precept and try to go above and beyond in other ways, to mask my feelings of not wanting to do it. I really do want them to succeed and I'm so glad when they do; and try to teach them what went wrong if something does, but not in a rude way and not in a way that calls them out in front of other people. I do not ignore them or give them the cold shoulder or try to make them feel stupid in lots of ways. There's no reason for that and it makes me mad when people do that.

But I just don't think a lot of new nurses realize how little choice most nurses have when it comes to precepting or not; or how difficult it can be. And think that nurses are trying to "eat their young" when really, often, they are just trying to do the best that they can, but don't have all the tools or natural gifts of a "great" preceptor; they are not perfect.

I know I'm going to regret this post when I wake up this evening, and will read many flaming posts or posts telling me I don't understand. But lack of sleep is making me extremely frank or extremely stupid. So here ya go.

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Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
Okay. Fine. There are terrible preceptors. I don't condone that- the ones who belittle you, try to make you feel stupid, don't teach you anything. Ivanna, your preceptor was definitely a real piece of work- and not in a good way!! And the "great" preceptors who really enjoy doing it- they are out there and I admire them so much- they give so much to the nurses they teach. They just have a knack for it and it's a wonderful, needed gift.

But there are also "okay" preceptors too, and I'm tired of reading in these threads "if they don't want to precept they should get out". It's not that easy. When you have to teach and precept no matter what, even if you say you don't want to, there really is no choice if you want to keep your job. And it's a lot different teaching families and patients, than it is teaching new nurses.

I wish there was a way for it to be ALL "great" preceptors, but there aren't enough of them to go around.

Please take this as a vent also, from someone burned out from doing this too much; and a recent really bad precepting experience that took a lot out of me and made me reconsider ever doing it again. I don't let the nurses I precept know that I wish I didn't have to do it; it's certainly not their fault. I am kind to the nurses I precept and try to go above and beyond in other ways, to mask my feelings of not wanting to do it. I really do want them to succeed and I'm so glad when they do; and try to teach them what went wrong if something does, but not in a rude way and not in a way that calls them out in front of other people. I do not ignore them or give them the cold shoulder or try to make them feel stupid in lots of ways. There's no reason for that and it makes me mad when people do that.

But I just don't think a lot of new nurses realize how little choice most nurses have when it comes to precepting or not; or how difficult it can be. And think that nurses are trying to "eat their young" when really, often, they are just trying to do the best that they can, but don't have all the tools or natural gifts of a "great" preceptor; they are not perfect.

I know I'm going to regret this post when I wake up this evening, and will read many flaming posts or posts telling me I don't understand. But lack of sleep is making me extremely frank or extremely stupid. So here ya go.

Like you, I don't want to dismiss Ivanna's complaint. I'm grateful not to have shared her experience. But you do raise some good points in defense of those who aren't natural-born preceptors, and while they may not apply directly to this thread, they're worth noting.

I haven't been called upon to orient anyone, other than filling in a couple of times in a pinch, and in those cases I got people who were pretty much ready to roll, so it was easy. But I have lately started doing charge, and a big part of that is mentoring our newbies and being a resource to our oldies, and it's freakin' hard! I actually like teaching, it turns out. It seems to be one of my best modes of learning. I find myself explaining things I didn't even know I knew! But there's an awful lot to balance. I don't want to just throw people in to sink or swim--they might not swim, and they might take their patients with them. But when you're new and scared, you need some encouragement to work up to your abilities, and "encouragement" can be in the form or reassurance or a kick in the pants. And you pretty much just have to guess which is required. I've found myself worrying that I was being an enabler (as in co-dependency), then thinking that enabling someone to be a successful nurse is just what I want to do. And you know what? In some ways, it really does help to have fresh memories of just what your victim is going through, but in other ways, it makes it harder. I try to remember what others did to get me through it, but a lot of times I was too busy peeing myself to notice.

I gather the OP is working in critical care. I haven't worked critical care as a nurse, but I floated there a few times in my prior position. You do realize, don't you, that you people are control freaks? I mean, sure, we all are, but you folks are obsessed. Almost as bad as L&D. (A male orderly in L&D stocks paper towels and toilet paper. Preferably when the patient is out of the room.)

Anyway, it sounds like you got through it. Congratulations, and good luck. As others have said, you've had an object lesson in what not to do when it's your turn. But you're gonna be a control freak. A more thoughtful one, hopefully, but a control freak nonetheless.

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