Crazy things patients say.....

Nurses General Nursing

Published

like "oh what have you been doing? Reading magazines?" :banghead::banghead:

This coming from my perfectly alert and oriented patient last night. She rang her call light asking for a blanket and when it took me more than 2 minutes to bring it to her I guess she felt like I really wasnt doing anything important? All I could say was no, I'm in the middle of passing all my meds! I felt like saying I havent even had a chance to eat dinner tonight!

I've also had patients ask me if all the nurses "are in the back playing cards" or "watching TV". For some reason this always comes from older patients.

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Specializes in School Nursing.

I guess a few minutes to a patient (who is not very patient) is like several hours.

I would just smile and do what you can for them. Hopefullly they will only be a patient for a short while.

Good luck !

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

When I was on the noc shift I would constantly hear patients apologize for waking us up -like we get to sleep between call bells and passing meds. We'd get to laughing that everyone would want to work midnights if that were the case.

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On several occasions our local news station has done a story where enraged people have got in front of the cameras and claimed EMS took an HOUR to get to an emergency. Each time the reporter has looked up the time the call came in and the time the EMS people arrived and it is usually between 6 and 12 minutes. Your perception of time changes when there is an emergency. Your perception of time also changes when you are sitting in a hospital bed. I am happy to say that most the complaints I have recieved like this have been unfounded, more a perception on part of the patient due to the slow way time passes when you are ill than any neglegence on the staffs part. Sad to say that on occasion, I have worked situations where the staffing is so bad that it actually took longer than the patient thought it did. I had one patient say that she had asked for pain pill three times in the last 15 min. I knew for a fact that it had been closer to 45 minutes because we had two similtaneous codes going on and no patient other than the ones trying to die had recieved a bit of attention since the first code was called.

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Specializes in Trauma, Pain Managaement.

Older

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Specializes in PCU, Home Health.

Sometimes when I am about to leave the room I say- Is there anything else you need, I am going to go take my nap. It is the closest thing I can bring myself to say to that blah blah blah, I have the time junk.

Maybe that is where all these patients are getting this idea. Sorry to mess it up for everybody.

:icon_roll

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I really like it when patients think we sleep on night shift. Or apologize for bothering us.

No, really, I'm here to be bothered and I sleep during the day and work at night.

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Last week I had the chuckle of the month! Patient was a young man in his early 20s. He is bit different. Dredlocks, lots of tats, piercings, and always wears Birkenstocks-no matter what the weather is. He is writer and every Christmas he gives me a copy of a story he has written. Very sweet of him. Well he came in for a check-up. While I am taking his BP he asks me ,"Can you tell if my heart is beating." He was serious.

Totally. I asked him if he thought his heart wasn't beating. He replied, "Mostly, when I am thinking or praying I don't think it is beating".

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like "oh what have you been doing? Reading magazines?" :banghead::banghead:

Wouldn't you just love to tell her, "Oh yes! I had to finish reading True Story!" {You know those little dirty magazines with love stories in them}

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Specializes in Adult Stem Cell/Oncology.

A 94-year old lady asked her nurse for a sleeping pill, and this is how the conversation went:

Patient: Can I get my sleeping pill?

Nurse: I'm sorry, but I have to call your doctor and get an order for a sleeping pill.

Patient: Well, what am I supposed to do? I can't sleep without a sleeping pill!

Nurse: I'm sorry, but I'll have to call your doctor first.

Patient: Why??? He's probably busy screwing a nurse!

Yeah...... she was quite charming! And she was cussing up a storm all night..... never thought I'd ever see such language being used by a 94-year old! :chuckle

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I actually had a pt complaining about how nurses are so overpaid when all we do is "give people pills and shots."

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Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Hospice,IV Therapy.

One time I had this guy come in for chemo. I got his iv in, drew his labs, explained to him that we needed to get his labs back before ordering his chemo. I got him something to eat and drink and said I would be back as soon as I got his lab results and for him to press the callbell if he needed anything in the meantime. So, I'm so terribly busy and running up and down the hall nonstop and this guy sees me running like a madwoman. His labs came back and I went into his room and told him that they were okay and I ordered his chemo and proceeded to premedicate him and do you know what he said to me??-- I thought maybe you were eating. Meanwhile it was 3pm and I never got lunch.

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