Crazy things patients say.....

Nurses General Nursing

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like "oh what have you been doing? Reading magazines?" :banghead::banghead:

This coming from my perfectly alert and oriented patient last night. She rang her call light asking for a blanket and when it took me more than 2 minutes to bring it to her I guess she felt like I really wasnt doing anything important? All I could say was no, I'm in the middle of passing all my meds! I felt like saying I havent even had a chance to eat dinner tonight!

I've also had patients ask me if all the nurses "are in the back playing cards" or "watching TV". For some reason this always comes from older patients.

I had one patient who referred to her genitals as Texas. She said" I want to make sure no one can see TX." LOL I was trying so hard not to burst into laughter. LOL:chuckle

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Well I guess we cant blame the patients if they have misguided perceptions of nursing! If they only knew! I'm just going to keep smiling :D

Oh yes I've also had patients that asked me if I was "eating dinner" when they just saw me running up and down the hallway :confused: Sometimes patients notice this though and tell me I need to go take a break!

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our floor is all private rooms. had a patient ask "how much would it cost to rent out the room next door? i have family coming in from out of town and they want to stay near me"

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Specializes in Medical, Paeds, Ob gyn, NICU.

I've had a patient call me into her room and ask me to sit down next to her.

I sat down and asked her if there was anything wrong that she needed to talk about (newly diagnosed with ca).

She said no, I've just watched you run around all day and thought you needed a chance to sit down and have a rest :loveya:

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Specializes in Adult Stem Cell/Oncology.
I've had a patient call me into her room and ask me to sit down next to her.

I sat down and asked her if there was anything wrong that she needed to talk about (newly diagnosed with ca).

She said no, I've just watched you run around all day and thought you needed a chance to sit down and have a rest :loveya:

Awww! That is so sweet! :redpinkhe

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Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

I've had a few patients who (frequent flyers) have asked me if we're busy, what's going on, etc...

I explain that "well, I've got a few patients tonight, but if you NEED anything you let me know....that's why they pay me...."

I'll admit, I've been known to take 30 mins on a 15 min bath just because I need the extra 15 mins to decompress a little...and I do a little extra for that patient cause he/she needs it....

My favorites are the older patients who ask me if I've gotten to eat yet, or the ones who tell me just to lay down in that other bed as no one's there yet......(looks mighty tempting some nights)....

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Specializes in Telemetry.
I actually had a pt complaining about how nurses are so overpaid when all we do is "give people pills and shots."

...lol.... i wish!!!

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The other day I had a resident who wanted her dilantin. She was certain that she didn't get her 0500 dose. I looked in the MAR and in fact she was given it - it was even signed out and the med was punched from the bubble pack. She proceeded to holler at me and told me "You nurses just sign in that book so it looks like you gave it and you don't really give it! You are all just lying! You are lazy and don't want to give me my pills!" Instead of argueing I gave her meds for 0700. Crazy thing - she was all smiles after that. She even told me that I should just tell her to shut-up! I told her that was something that I would never do. I just didn't tell her that's what I was thinking!

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Specializes in Stepdown progressive care.

I had a pt once who kept asking for delilah. Come to find out, he just didn't know how to pronounce dilaudid.

Another pt was proud to tell me his mother worked as a CNA but pronounced it seena. He was the same pt who told me his temp dropped to 50 the night before. :p

My favorite was a quote we got from an ER report. Apparently this pts family member was at the bedside and was trying to sound important when the pt was getting an iv. He apperently didn't like the way they were doing it and told the staff they were doing it wrong. His reasoning. "I should know, I'm a blebotomist"

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We had a chronic COPD'er who was pretty out of it (CO2 levels were about 100). He had fallen down and had a large bruise on his foot before he was admitted.

His toothless niece told her family (while I was doing his assessment), "He has a huge hemoglobin on his foot."

:)

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Specializes in LTC/Rehab, Med Surg, Home Care.

I have a resident who has a history of an eating disorder and we always tell her she weighs 95 pounds on bath day because if it's even 1/4 of a pounds more she'll stop eating. She also has extreme bowel troubles, takes lots of Senna and fibercon daily. Still, she has frequent bouts of constipation and asks for....

M&M! She means Milk of Magnesia, aka MOM, but always asks for M&M.

I'd love to just bring her in a handful of M&Ms sometime.

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Specializes in med-surg/ telemetry/PEDS.

I had a patient the other night who's IV kept beeping (positional) called and asK "Can I have a pillow to prop my arm on so my blood will stop flowing in the wrong direction?"

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