can someone grade my cv ????

mom2michael, MSN, RN, NP · Feb 1, 2008

:up:

:up:

Ms Kylee · Feb 1, 2008

I wouldn't use "If you hire me". I would replace it with "In this position, I would expect to XYZ..." Always think positive!

debccm · Feb 1, 2008

dear personal director:

i am writing in reference to the full time 7a-7p medical surgical unit lpn, advertised online at xxxxxx. i am extremely vitally ?? in becoming a member of your team. i have been very impressed throughout my different rotations as a nursing student at your facility.

i will graduate from xxxxxx with a technical certificate in practical nursing in july. i will take my nclex examination in august and expect to have my license by september. i am a quick learner, enjoy learning new things on the job, do not shy away from difficult assignments, and have an affinity for relating to patients and their families.

i am confident i would make a positive addition to your nursing staff. as my resume indicates, i am (have) had many years within the health care field as a cna at an extended care facility. working in fast paced health care, i have learned to adapt quickly, make quick decisions, manage busy patients, do extensive patient and family teaching, work with patients who have the ability to decompensate quickly, all of which i think would also be applicable in the medical surgical setting.

i have always wanted to work in (on a) medical surgery unit. i found your hospital (to be) very educational and your nurses highly professional. it was clear to me that i was in an excellent environment in which to work and to learn.

if you hire me, i will dedicate myself to learning all i can and to working hard to maintain your unit's exceptional standards. i have already applied through xxxxxxxx's website, but i wanted to introduce myself as a potential candidate. i will follow up with you in a few days to answer any preliminary questions you may have. i am looking forward to meeting with you soon to discuss possible employment. i will be available for an interview at your convenience and may be reach at xxxxxxxxx.

great content. watch ur spelling and context. :cheers:

4x4country · Feb 1, 2008

thx everyone, i tried to use some suggestions . grammer is never my thing, maybe that why i choose nursing. i can chart short hand ! lol plus i am finishing a research paper this weekend. :icon_roll

heres the new project

i am writing in reference to the full time 7a-7p medical surgical unit lpn, advertised online at xxxxxxx. i am extremely vitally in becoming a member of your team. i have been very impressed throughout my different rotations as a nursing student at your facility.

i will graduate from xxxxxxx with a technical certificate in practical nursing in july. i will take my nclex examination in august and expect to have my license by september. i am a quick learner, enjoy learning new things on the job, do not shy away from difficult assignments, and have an affinity for relating to patients and their families.

i am confident i would make a positive addition to your nursing staff. as my resume indicates, i have many years within the health care field as a cna at a extended care facility. working in fast paced health care field , i have learned to adapt quickly, make quick decisions, manage busy patients, do extensive patient and family teaching, work with patients who have the ability to decompensate quickly, all of which i think would also be applicable in the medical surgical setting.

i have always wanted to work on a medical surgery unit. i found your hospital to be very educational and your nurses highly professional. it was clear to me that i was in an excellent environment in which to work and to learn.

in this position, i will dedicate myself to learning all i can and to working hard to maintain your unit's exceptional standards. i have already applied through xxxxxxx's website, but i wanted to introduce myself as a potential candidate. i will follow up with you in a few days to answer any preliminary questions you may have. i am looking forward to meeting with you soon to discuss possible employment. i will be available for an interview at your convenience and may be reach at xxxxxxxxxxxx.

sincerely,

xxxxxxxx

allnurses Guide · Feb 1, 2008

"I am extremely vitally in becoming a member of your team."

This sentence still doesn't make sense.

steph

Valerie Salva, BSN, RN · Feb 1, 2008

dear personal director:
i am writing in reference to the full time 7a-7p medical surgical unit lpn, advertised online at xxxxxx. i am extremely vitally ?? in becoming a member of your team. i have been very impressed throughout my different rotations as a nursing student at your facility.
i will graduate from xxxxxx with a technical certificate in practical nursing in july. i will take my nclex examination in august and expect to have my license by september. i am a quick learner, enjoy learning new things on the job, do not shy away from difficult assignments, and have an affinity for relating to patients and their families.
as my resume indicates, i have been employed for a number of years as a cna at an extended care facility. working in a fast paced health care setting, i have learned to adapt quickly, make quick decisions, manage busy? patients, do extensive patient and family teaching (this sounds a bit beyond the scope of a cna), and work with patients who have decompensated rapidly. (i would say something about teamwork/working with others here ). i feel that these skills would be valuable in a medical surgical setting, and i am confident i would be a positive addition to your nursing staff.
i have always wanted to work in (on a) medical surgical unit. i found your hospital (to be) very educational and your nurses highly professional. it was clear to me that i was in an excellent environment in which to work and to learn.
if selected for the position, i will dedicate myself to learning all i can and to working hard to maintain your unit's exceptional standards. i have already applied through xxxxxxxx’s website, but i wanted to introduce myself as a potential candidate. i will follow up with you in a few days to answer any preliminary questions you may have. i am looking forward to meeting with you soon to discuss possible employment. i will be available for an interview at your convenience and may be reached at xxxxxxxxx.
great content. watch ur spelling and context. :cheers:

addidtional suggestions added in red.

imafreckleface2 · Feb 1, 2008

Personnel :up:

GingerSue · Feb 1, 2008

dear personal director:
i am writing in reference to the full time 7a-7p medical surgical unit lpn, advertised online at xxxxxx. i am extremely vitally ?? (this word doesn't make sense) in becoming a member of your team. i have been very impressed throughout my different rotations as a nursing student at your facility.
i am confident i would make a positive addition to your nursing staff. as my resume indicates, i am (have) had many years within the health care field as a cna at an extended care facility. working in fast paced health care, i have learned to adapt quickly, make quick decisions, manage busy patients, do extensive patient and family teaching, work with patients who have the ability to decompensate quickly, all of which i think would also be applicable in the medical surgical setting.
i have always wanted to work in (on a) medical surgery unit. i found your hospital (to be) very educational and your nurses highly professional. it was clear to me that i was in an excellent environment in which to work and to learn.
if you hire me (i would omit these words), i will dedicate myself to learning all i can and to working hard to maintain your unit's exceptional standards. i have already applied through xxxxxxxx's website, but i wanted to introduce myself as a potential candidate. i will follow up with you in a few days to answer any preliminary questions you may have. i am looking forward to meeting with you soon to discuss possible employment. i will be available for an interview at your convenience and may be reached at xxxxxxxxx.
:cheers:

just my comments in blue

Midwest4me · Feb 2, 2008

quote:4x4 country:"Thx everyone, I tried to use some suggestions . Grammer is never my thing, maybe that why i choose nursing. i can chart short hand ! LOL Plus i am finishing a research paper this weekend. :icon_rollend quote.

Unfortunately, many managers judge candidates on their grammar just as they are judged on their apparel and interview performance. Resumes, cover letters, letters of interest need to be grammatically correct. I liked your letter with the exception of "extremely vitally"(which does not make sense to me either) and the fact that almost every paragraph started with "I". With a few changes, it will shine! Good luck!

SeychelleRN · Feb 2, 2008

your grade was a b. :lol:you are on the right path, but it just needed a bit of tweaking. here is what i have edited from all the previous posted additions:

dear personal director:

i am writing in reference to the full time 7a-7p medical surgical unit lpn, advertised online at xxxxxx. i will graduate from xxxxxx with a technical certificate in practical nursing in july. already, i have applied through xxxxxxxx's website, but i wanted to introduce myself as a potential candidate. i will take my nclex examination in august and expect to have my license by september. i am a quick learner, enjoy learning new things on the job, do not shy away from difficult assignments, and have an affinity for relating to patients and their families.

my interest in your facility stems from the impressive educational atmosphere and highly professional nurses experienced throughout my different clinical rotations. most of all, i love and thrive on medical surgical units. as my resume indicates, i have been employed for a number of years as a cna at an extended care facility. working in a fast paced health care setting, i have learned to adapt quickly, make quick decisions, and manage time effectively. i feel that these skills would be valuable in a medical surgical setting, and i am confident i would be a positive addition to your nursing staff.

i am the dedicated and qualified person you are looking for to fill the 7a-7p medical surgical unit lpn position and will maintain your unit's exceptional standards. in a few days, i will follow up to answer any preliminary questions you may have. i am looking forward to meeting with you soon to discuss possible employment. at your convenience, i will be available for an interview and may be reached at xxxxxxxxx.

thank you in advance for you time.

sincerely,

new nursing grad

:caduceus:

4x4country · Feb 2, 2008

Thank you everyone so much. I really needed help and everyone is much appreicated. it is really nice that everyone will chip in and help. KUDOS everyone ! :redpinkhe:redpinkhe:redpinkhe:cheers::cheers::redpinkhe:redpinkhe:redpinkhe