Can i still be a nurse if i am too emotional?

Vespertinas · Feb 8, 2013

Since OP isn't giving more info just yet I'll talk about what I know best: myself.

I bawl at every movie I see. I shed tears with every argument I have with a loved one. I think that makes me "emotional". I think it's a combination of being on birth control and being my mother's daughter.

Turns out I don't cry at the big stuff like codes or disasters. The tears sneak up on me in quiet moments like when I make an unexpected connection with a patient or even a co-worker. I cry about relationship-based things, I guess. I just do my best to keep it to a light misty-eye and turn away so no one will see and think I'm crazy. Damn hormones.

It's okay. Leslie said it well...emotional is certainly not the worst thing you can be in this field.

Rhi007 · Feb 8, 2013

You can be emotional but you need to choose the right time to express it. Events like sudden or unexpected deaths of patients; sure cry but go and have your break, get it out your system and get on with work

Moko5327benedict16 · Feb 8, 2013

Thanks for the article I am not a nurse but want to be one here is a example

My mom has 2 diseases wegners disease and ms she was rushed to the hospital and I found out on Facebook when I found out I started crying and I was on the school bus on the way home when I found out and I felt like I could not stop crying

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Feb 8, 2013

Adolescence is a time of great emotional lability (this means ups and downs). I'd say you had something to cry about in this case.

As to the general crying all the time thing, I will tell you what I told one of my students who was very emotionally invested in every aspect of all his patients' care, taking it all waaay too personally. I told him that as professional caregivers we don't check our feelings at the door but we do have to maintain some measure of professional boundaries between us and our patients. I had found out by then that he had a number of significant pressures in his life outside of school and gently suggested that he could use some professional help to figure out how to get them sorted out, so he would then not have his anxieties and disquiets spilling over into his patient care where they did not belong. He was very mad at me to start but later thanked me for giving him a direction to help him deal with his feelings in general.

If your feelings are overwhelming, getting in your way, or otherwise not being helpful in your life, talk to the guidance counselor at school to get help with making sense of it all. As you leave adolescence (and perhaps get more able to deal with your mother's illnesses) you will find that life feels more under your control. That's the time to think about being a nurse. We can't help others if we need significant help ourselves. Put another way, we need a certain amount of personal strength to deal with the stresses of nursing; if you don't have that yet, you're not ready yet to put yourself in a position to be more stressed.

Good luck to you, dear.

MoopleRN · Feb 8, 2013

Thanks for the article I am not a nurse but want to be one here is a example
My mom has 2 diseases wegners disease and ms she was rushed to the hospital and I found out on Facebook when I found out I started crying and I was on the school bus on the way home when I found out and I felt like I could not stop crying

You found out your mom was "rushed to the hospital" on Facebook? That seems weird to me but whatevs... So you were crying about your mom and relate that to wondering if you're too emotional to be a nurse?!? Take care of your mom and wonder if you're too emotional to be a nurse later, there's plenty of time for that then. Express your emotions and focus on your mom now, not a potential career choice.

leslie :-D · Feb 8, 2013

My mom has 2 diseases wegners disease and ms she was rushed to the hospital and I found out on Facebook when I found out I started crying and I was on the school bus on the way home when I found out and I felt like I could not stop crying

oh my gosh... of course you would get upset reading such news on fb!!

just last week i found out my father had died, reading it on fb (by his wife)!!

my siblings and i were horrified that such news would be delivered in such an insensitive way.

we all cried, cussed (me) and didn't know how to handle the frustration.

i'm sorry moko, but if that is what makes you emotional, then that is not an appropriate example...because that is a very human response.

and, you really may be depressed about your mom being sick.

if so, i would advise you to find a reputable therapist...

or as grntea suggested, your guidance counselor.

either way honey, take care of yourself.

you should definitely research nursing more and go for it if that's what you want.

you certainly don't want to make any major decisions now, while you're feeling so vulnerable.

prayers for comfort and healing...

for you and mom both.

leslie

LTCNS, LPN · Feb 8, 2013

OP, I am so sorry to read about your mom being so ill. Don't worry about nursing right now. You have enough on your plate as it is. *HUGS* Praying for you and your mom.

ky88 · Feb 9, 2013

You can be emotional but you need to choose the right time to express it. Events like sudden or unexpected deaths of patients; sure cry but go and have your break, get it out your system and get on with work

I completely agree with you. Timing is everything. You must learn how to balance your emotions and express them when appropriate. Life experiences will only make you stronger and more competent to handle those tough instances in the future.

ak2190 · Feb 9, 2013

I will tell you the truth. If you aren't tough, you will either hate nursing or yourself or you will learn how to be tough. This profession takes a certain amount of being superhuman.

canned_bread · Feb 9, 2013

When I was doing clinically practice whilst studying for nursing, sometimes I would get tired, and stressed, and then get a catty nurse telling me something that was far from constructive, but plain mean. And I would cry. This happened a few times, and was highly embarrassing and inappropriate. I think I was also experiencing depression at the time which just complicated things. I worried so hard that I was screwing up all the time, and the job itself was just so darn stressful when I wanted to do everything RIGHT. I placed pressures on myself that was just not realistic.

I have found that as I have become more confident, more mature, and more competent in my work, the stress has decreased and I don't cry unless something emotional happens, such as a client passes that was close to me, or if I hear about something that touches the "humanitarian" nerve in me. But I have more control so I can hold off on crying until I have space to do so. It's possible to develop control, and I hope that you can develop that too.

CherylRNBSN · Feb 9, 2013

Thanks for the article I am not a nurse but want to be one here is a example
My mom has 2 diseases wegners disease and ms she was rushed to the hospital and I found out on Facebook when I found out I started crying and I was on the school bus on the way home when I found out and I felt like I could not stop crying

please understand that you LOVE your mother. While you will care about (some!) of your pts., you will never love them as you do your mother. So that emotional vulnerability will not be there.

Rather, you will likely find comfort in helping others who are navigating grief, sickness, and loss. B'c you know firsthand what that feels like. You will hopefully appreciate and realize the opportunity to pay it forward.

Nursing will provide you an opportunity to do that work from an emotional distance. You will not feel that emotional when it comes to caring for strangers.

Lev, MSN, RN, NP · Feb 10, 2013

Thanks for the article I am not a nurse but want to be one here is a example
My mom has 2 diseases wegners disease and ms she was rushed to the hospital and I found out on Facebook when I found out I started crying and I was on the school bus on the way home when I found out and I felt like I could not stop crying

I don't want to jump to conclusions about your culture, but certain cultures are more closed about expressing emotions. If you are from a culture that does not express emotions openly, it's possible that you may be considered too emotional my members of your culture, but not for the mainstream American society.