Blessing in Disguise ?

  1. Hey, all ...

    Remember my sweet little patient I was asking advice for a couple weeks ago? Re possibly having to go to a nursing home, which distressed him so much?

    Well, went to work this A.M., and our first patient through the door asked if we had heard about "_____". We looked at him puzzled, because we had not heard anything, nor were there any messages on the answering machine. He then went on to inform us that Mr. ______ had passed away this weekend... massive heart attack while in bed. ....... ...

    I could NOT believe it !!! Tears immediately welled up in my eyes, and I had to go off the floor to compose myself. This just breaks my heart into pieces !

    He was FINE when he left us Fri. afternoon... I remember waving at him through the wheelchair van window, as we did everytime before.... and now no more. I still can't believe it.. can't believe he won't be coming in anymore...

    Oh, I know... we lose many patients over time at dialysis, and the losses are never easy. But this little man grabbed my heart from the first day he set foot in our unit, and the feeling was mutual.

    I know we're not "supposed" to get attached, and certainly shouldn't have "favoroites"... but gosh, some people just have a way with your heart, and this sweet man had his way with mine !

    I'm soooooooo glad I spent the last two tx. times sitting with him and going over the new options you all had helped me with.. and we had actually gotten so far as to have found him another aide who was coming in a few hours on weekends... a start.. and we were in the process of finding someone at the Sr.Ctr. who would call him every night at the same time, to assure he was in bed ok.

    How vivid these little chats are now in my memory ! I still feel his hand on mine, as he patted it and thanked me for my efforts and concern for his wellbeing.

    But now he's gone. And although I have accepted it, I still can hardly believe it.

    Was it perhaps a blessing in disguise? Was he spared the inevitable Nursing Home in the near future ? I have to think of it this way... it comforts me.

    Well, thank you for allowing me to share my grief. I must go now.. I'm off to the funeral home to pay my respects and touch his hand one last time.. and tell him how very special he was.
  2. Visit jnette profile page

    About jnette, ASN, EMT-I

    Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 21,359; Likes: 7,204
    Home Health Patient Education Resource Nurse; from US
    Specialty: 10 year(s) of experience in Hemodialysis, Home Health


  3. by   RNinRI
    It sounds like it was indeed a blessing in disguise and you will have your memories of him and know that you helped him in his time of need. My thoughts are with you.
  4. by   Scavenger'sWife
    I am sorry to hear about your friend. I think it is wonderful of you to go to the funeral home.

    I had an elderly gentleman touch my heart the same way many years ago. It has been almost thirty years and I still remember him from time to time.

    Prayers are with you & for him & his family.
  5. by   Zee_RN
    There will always be certain patients who touch our hearts in a special way. I worked on a med-surg/renal floor for almost three years and we certainly got to know our "frequent flyers." And eventualy, the inevitable happens. And sometimes it is just heart-wrenching.

    But I think you titled your post appropriately. A Blessing in Disguise. This lovely gent was spared the indignities that he certainly felt would come with residing in a "home." Now he's living in that "mansion just over the hilltop."
  6. by   ShortFuse_LPN
    Jnette...I am certain this gentleman felt blessed to have such a caring nurse. And I agree with the others, he died at home, where he wanted to be. I hope that knowing that will bring you some comfort.:kiss
  7. by   atownsendrn
    I am sure you brighten Mr. ________'s last few days. It sounds like he was a lucky man to have such a caring nurse.
  8. by   Mkue
    What a lucky man he was

    Peace jnette
  9. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Seems to me his death occured when it did for a reason. Bless you for being in his life and the compassion you showed him in the end. You made a difference to him!
  10. by   nursenoelle
    Oh bless your heart, I agree with Deb- this happened for a reason. Sometimes believing that it is part of a divine plan is the only way I get through.

    How wonderful that he had someone like you taking care of him. What a big heart you have.
  11. by   jemb

    Nothing else to add to what others have said.
  12. by   duckie
    Originally posted by BelindaLPN
    Jnette...I am certain this gentleman felt blessed to have such a caring nurse. And I agree with the others, he died at home, where he wanted to be. I hope that knowing that will bring you some comfort.:kiss

    I couldn't have stated this better myself. Hugs to you!! Duckie
  13. by   Love-A-Nurse
    i believe people come into one's life for a season/reason. what blessing for you both.
  14. by   Spidey's mom
    Hi Jnette . . .I'm sorry for your loss. I don't think we would be good nurses if this kind of thing didn't touch our hearts. This evening we lost a baby due to uterine rupture. I just got home from the hospital after another nurse and I put him in the nursery after his family had held him for a couple of hours. Clipped a little of his hair to give them. He was a perfect little guy. Came home and had a good sob on the basement stairs.