Being overly sensitive/overly emotional when dealing with patients

BrookeeLou_RN · Mar 19, 2011

Your personality could be problematic but you just do not know yet....shadowing is an excellent idea. See how you react when shadowing. If you are too emotional it might be better to consider a different type career in healthcare. As a patient I would be worried if my nurse cried all the time. Patient expect nurses to be compassionate but strong and steady also. And in an emergency you need to be level headed and professional. Of course you can fall apart after the emergency is over as some nurse do.

When shadowing seriously think about how you are feeling or acting..if too extreme, I would think this would be exhausting to you. It may be you will be fine once you are in it or it may be you need to avoid bedside nursing/patient care and choose a different course...Best of luck to you.

caregiver1977 · Mar 19, 2011

I've gone through labor and delivery 5 times, and personally I would have thought it was cute if one of the nurses cried when I pushed out my baby. As long as she wasn't crying so hard that she couldn't do her duties it would be touching. That is a lot better than some of the rudeness I experienced!

What was really interesting was the nurse who had a romantic encounter with her husband the night before and came to work with passion marks ALL OVER her neck. I mean BAD ONES. That man ATE HER UP. There were two nurses settling me into labor and delivery and even the other nurse was making fun of this woman. She was all apologetic, but I thought it was one of the most interesting things I had seen at the hospital. I couldn't help but laugh at her:lol2: I wasn't offended (I mean, I was laying there 8 1/2 months pregnant). If I hadn't been pregnant I would have asked her to order me some of what she just had! :yeah:

tiroka03, LPN · Mar 19, 2011

I think being overly sensative can hamper both you and the patient. Most patients have to deal with their own emotions, and that of their families. They look to you for strength and understanding. It's good you have such a tender heart, but guard it, and save it for your family. That said, there is a time and a place to understand and hug and talk with a pt, and there is also a time to step back and help the pt get ahold of themselves. You may be adding to their fears by how you react. There is a fine line, and it's at times easy to cross. However, these people are strangers, and you have been priviledged to be a part of a scary frightening emotional time, kind of like a clergy. If you went to a clergy to tell them your husband was cheating on you, and he broke down and sobbed, you would wonder whats wrong with him. It's not his marriage, and he's seen it all before, you would wonder if he was an answer for you. Do the same, listen, be compassionate, and help them be strong enough to face what is ahead for them.

LPNweezy · Mar 19, 2011

Personally, i find you refreshing! Good for you being so empathetic. I cried when i was in L & D, and i'd do it again, too! Too many stoic, unemotional, jaded nurses. This are what we need in nursing to keep a good balance going. I think that as you mature into nursing, you will be able to carry yourself much better. I have no idea what kind of person i will be in 20 years... lets just hope i'm a gentle, yet firm, caring person :) and that goes for you too!

KyPinkRN · Mar 19, 2011

i agree with most of what the other posters have said. i want to add that after a while being that emotional at your full time job is going to wear you out... actually burn you out. nursing is a hard job with lots to think about and even more to do. being emotional all the time while you are doing it is going to take it's toll on you. that being said, i do think that occasionally you have that patient that just touches your heart and you can't help it. just be careful and take care of yourself too. good luck with school and i hope your shadowing goes well.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Mar 19, 2011

I am an emotional person also, I can cry at coffee commercials.

Very soon after I started nursing, I found that a certain level of emotional distancing kicks in. It doen't make you less empathetic, it is just a natural part of care -giving that allows you to perform.

It was relatively painless.

Good luck.

evolvingrn, BSN, RN · Mar 19, 2011

I think you need to evaluate if you can emotionally handle nursing. One of the first things you will learn in school is the importance of boundaries and objectiveness. if you are 'emotionally involved' with your pt this can end up hurting their care. Im not saying you can't care, that IS important. but you do have to be able to be objective.

also you see sad stories whereever you work in nursing. I had to really confront my feelings on death and even familly lifestyles i don't approve of (drug use ect) You can offer resources but in the end it's up to the pts to make the decision about their own life. you have to be able to step back. I have heard from nurses that had to leave labor and delivery but it emotionally broke them to send some babies into the home lifes they were being sent to. its hard, and emotion if you don't have appropriate boundaries can end up being your worst enemy.

Sugarcoma, RN · Mar 20, 2011

I think being overly sensative can hamper both you and the patient. Most patients have to deal with their own emotions, and that of their families. They look to you for strength and understanding.
This is so true. You cannot fall apart in front of patients. You HAVE to be the strong one! You will encounter things that will break your heart and when you do just do what I do and chew on the inside of your cheek or bite your tongue and then leave the room and cry in private. If you start crying or lose it then the patient ends up having to comfort you and that is inappropriate.

nurse2033, MSN, RN · Mar 20, 2011

Crying is OK as long as it doesn't impact your ability to work. Most family members would be touched that the nurse cares that much. I'm not worried about the public, more about you. If you can handle crying every day then no problem. If it leads you to drink, not so OK. If you fall into a fetal position every time that is one thing. I wouldn't worry too much about it. There are many other more pressing things to worry about.

lifelearningrn, BSN, RN · Mar 20, 2011

While I think it may be harder for you to keep your emotions in check than others- I think such compassion and empathy for others will make you an excellent care giver making it a strength that will go hand in hand with the weakness of somethings maybe becoming emotional. I think you'll learn to keep it in check. Don't let it scare you or discourage you. It'll get easier.

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Mar 20, 2011

OP, I can totally relate to you. I was also worried about being overly emotional while in the clinical setting. I tend to feel things down to my very toes, and I had a hard time learning how to separate myself from the emotions that were swirling during times of happiness and crisis for my patients.

L&D was one of the hardest jobs that I had. There are patients that deliver healthy babies (and yes, I always got misty when I heard that first cry from a newborn), and there are patients that delivered stillborns.

I remember back when I was a PACU nurse, and I had a pt who had just had a nephrectomy for renal small cell cancer. My mother had just passed away from this very cancer a few months prior. This young man was in agonizing pain, and I went to the ends of the earth to get his pain to a manageable level. Strangely enough, he was smiling while he had tears streaming down his face. I asked him why he was smiling. His answer is one that I will not soon forget. He said, "I am ALIVE. I get to see my wife and my 2 year old daughter again. I didn't think that I would survive the surgery." Well that just did it for me. I had to step out to collect myself. This patient exemplified bravery in the face of despair. His strength got him through the pain. That was...quite emotional for me.

I learned how to "divorce" myself from my emotions while in the clinical setting. I knew that my focus must be on my PATIENT and not MYSELF, and to do otherwise would be putting my patient in an awkward situation. A patient should never be in a position of comforting a health care worker. They have enough to worry about. So I kept it together in order to give my patient the care that they deserved, knowing that I could let the waterworks flow freely once I got home. And let me tell ya, they certainly flowed!

So to address your concern regarding being overly emotional, my answer is simple. FEEL your emotions and do not lose who you are. However, put on your game face and concentrate on your PATIENT. If you must busy yourself with task-oriented activities, then do that. If you feel your emotions begin to overwhelm you, think of something that makes you REALLY happy. I think of my team winning the Super Bowl, or the serene look on my husband's face when we are anchored out at sea. You can practice this technique and find that you can regain control of your emotions and thus resume care of your patient.

It is difficult sometimes to distance your mind from what it is receiving emotionally. Think of football or basketball players before a game...it is emotional for them. They probably have a lot on the line and everyone is watching to see if they will crack. But they put their game face on and they get the job done. You see a great deal of emotion once the game is over, which is expected and ACCEPTED.

You can remain true to yourself in being empathetic to your patients as long as you do not own THEIR emotions. It will come with practice. It is not easy, but you can master it.