Are there ever days you HATE being a nurse?

[AngelfireRN]

Just wondering if anyone else gets as frustrated as I do. Case in point: my mother's best friend had a massive stroke a few days back. She would up having an intraventricular bleed (neuro guys, feel free to jump in here), and the ER doc pretty well said she would not live.

I have been a nurse long enough to get hardened to the fact that some people do not make it, and in the case of this poor lady, given the damage and possible outcome, it may be for the best.

What irritates me to no end it the constant barrage of questions from the family and my Mama.

"She did this, what does that mean?" "Does that mean she's better?"

I have tried to explain to them about reflexive actions, as the doc has said that there is very little brain activity. It's like talking to a post.

"But she talked, and she moved the hand that they said was paralyzed!!!!"

My Mama is driving me nuts with all the, "OK with this, what are the percentages? When I did this, she did this, what does that mean?" I can not make her understand that this is a patient, not a textbook. I also can not make her understand that I am not a neuro nurse, my strong point is psych. If the woman had had a nervous breakdown, I'm your gal.

All the family converged around me tonight, talking about how that they had given her water, even though the nurses said not to, and that she wanted a soda, and how mean it was that the nurse made them leave. Tried to explain about aspiration, was met with this stony "Oh, you're one of THEM" looks. They asked if all the mumbling and moving meant she was better, and I don't know what to tell them. They refuse to accept it when I say that she will likely pass from this, but if I was to tell them, "Oh, yes, she will be fine now", and she dies, there I am. Mama said i should just tell them what they want to hear, but I don't believe that candy-coating anything will be beneficial. I did not do it with my family when my Grandmother was ill and dying, and I see no reason to start.

Am I a bad person? Or do y'all deal with this, too? Just curious. Thanks.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

I know exactly how you feel--When I have been in similar situations with family members and friends I am very,very careful regarding what-if any-info I give.Since this is not your immediate family you shouldn't feel like you have to help them see the light.And no matter what you say to your mom she is going to process less then half of it and saying too much will cause a big brou -ha -ha...You are not a member of the nursing team so you can't know exactly what the family has been told so it is best you just offer support in general terms and be firm with them all...Later when you are an NP and the whole family and the neighborhood attempts to hit you up fro free advice you'll have had all of this practice with this situation....Good Luck

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

NEVER however there are many days I wish I was not at work![/quote']

When the sky is clear

The fairways are green

The weather is beautifull

then for work, Im not so keen

Keeping it in the short grass

[MA Nurse]

I understand what you're saying. I get very frustrated being a nurse when I am trying to explain something to patients who think they know everything and they know very little.

I can't stand it when people do research on a drug or claim their doctor friend told them something BAD about a med and they are so ignorant about it, and so very wrong. Sometimes I do want to scream, but instead, I get the Dr. to deal with the patients who "harrass" me about something.

[Nurseboy1]

Angel

Very sorry to hear about your mother's friend. Sudden catastrophic change often leads to the heaviest denial, they simply can't process all the information at once.

To answer your question, yes there are those days I wish I was simply the cashier at the grocery store back in high school, as long as a smiled and moved the line life was good.

The other night after an intense 3 1/2 hour overall resucitation attempt on a new CA patient, it was a low moment to have to look her young crying children in the eye and try to tell them that mommy died despite our best efforts.

I simply try to reconcile with myself that I gave 110% in the resucitation effort, and we did do everything humanly possible. Some things are just in God's hands IMHO.

[elthia]

When I hated being a nurse...

When I was sitting by my father and the oncologist said stage IV cancer

When I walked into the ICU and saw my father receiving vancomycin and knew it wasn't just hypercalcemia.

When I had to explain over and over to family who hadn't seen Dad in years that we were doing everything we could, and surgery would kill him faster.

When the ICU staff came out to talk to me, and residents I knew for years wouldn't look me in the eye...

Sorry to sound so depressing. It's just Christmas is really getting to me...last year at this time we didn't even know Dad was sick. It's enough to make me scream sometimes...how can a man with regular healthcare, with 2 RN's for daughters suddenly develop Stage IV cancer and die in 4 months from diagnosis?

[MzMouse]

When I hated being a nurse...

When I was sitting by my father and the oncologist said stage IV cancer

When I walked into the ICU and saw my father receiving vancomycin and knew it wasn't just hypercalcemia.

When I had to explain over and over to family who hadn't seen Dad in years that we were doing everything we could, and surgery would kill him faster.

When the ICU staff came out to talk to me, and residents I knew for years wouldn't look me in the eye...

Sorry to sound so depressing. It's just Christmas is really getting to me...last year at this time we didn't even know Dad was sick. It's enough to make me scream sometimes...how can a man with regular healthcare, with 2 RN's for daughters suddenly develop Stage IV cancer and die in 4 months from diagnosis?

(((((elthia))))) I am so sorry. No one can completely understand but I sure do empathize. I lost my father 5 years ago today to a sudden illness. My thoughts are with you.

[AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN]

Elthia, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It stinks to lose someone, especially if you are in the healthcare field and have that constant feeling of, "I should have been able to DO something". So sorry to anyone here who has gone through anything like this.

Thank you all for the advice and input. I have made it known that I will not be dispensing any more opinions or advice about this case, as I am not privy to the particulars and do not want to misspeak. I am decidedly unpopular now. My Mama tried the "using all of my names" tactic, but, at 27, it does not have the same effect. "Young lady" and finger-shaking does not bother me anymore, either. I suppose this will diminish in time, but at least I know I'm doing what's right. Thanks again.

[elthia]

Elthia, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It stinks to lose someone, especially if you are in the healthcare field and have that constant feeling of, "I should have been able to DO something". So sorry to anyone here who has gone through anything like this.

Thank you all for the advice and input. I have made it known that I will not be dispensing any more opinions or advice about this case, as I am not privy to the particulars and do not want to misspeak. I am decidedly unpopular now. My Mama tried the "using all of my names" tactic, but, at 27, it does not have the same effect. "Young lady" and finger-shaking does not bother me anymore, either. I suppose this will diminish in time, but at least I know I'm doing what's right. Thanks again.

Just let it be known that you are there as a friend of the family, not as a nurse.

[showbizrn]

ANGELFIRE,

Tell them calmly,

"I don't have any answers. ALL you can do is PRAY for her health."

AND DON'T ANSWER ANY MORE QUESTIONS!

Blessings to you and your family.