Advice!!

roser13, ASN, RN · Dec 18, 2014

Aaaaannnnnnd, the 3rd NETY thread in one day.

caliotter3 · Dec 18, 2014

I'm out of popcorn. This could turn into a popcorn crisis.

psu_213, BSN, RN · Dec 18, 2014

Aaaaannnnnnd, the 3rd NETY thread in one day.

Yes, this is getting pretty sad. I just hope that there are not too many non-nurses who read the silliness of this and other NETY threads.

caliotter3 · Dec 18, 2014

Yes, this is getting pretty sad. I just hope that there are not too many non-nurses who read the silliness of this and other NETY threads.

Throughout the years I have read plenty on this site that I have been less than proud of for the general public to have access to. Really wish that sometimes people would take the public nature of this site into consideration before they say some of the things that are said here.

Trauma Columnist · Dec 18, 2014

Lets stay on topic.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. Sometimes when we think we are portraying one attitude its interpreted a different way. Have you had any difficulty at other jobs?

For me, when I have a bad experience, I try to do some introspection (after I've calmed down) and realize that there might have been a communication issue and maybe I need to work on that.

Could this be the case?

amoLucia · Dec 18, 2014

I'm out of popcorn. This could turn into a popcorn crisis.

Hey! I have the popcorn concession!

Lev, MSN, RN, NP · Dec 18, 2014

There are a couple points here. NETY aside.

#1 Being fake for the patients (and coworkers) Ya gotta do it. I am a reserved person, but I am extroverted at work. People don't believe me when I tell them I'm quiet. I do it for the patients. Yes, you do need to smile and be super pleasant in general (to a limit) even if you don't feel like it. They're the ones in the bed, not you. (Note: I said "in general." Sometimes I give lectures to patients too. Generally they are conversations involving IV pain medication).

#2 The money. Yes, healthcare is all about money. It's sick. You will find tons of threads on this topic on this website. Unfortunately, most hospital CEOs are businessmen with MBAs and not nurses or doctors. Wish it was the other way around.

Just be nice to to others and they will like you back. If it seems like EVERYONE has an issue with you, YOU may be the problem.

RatherBHiking, BSN, RN · Dec 18, 2014

This sounds exactly like another post I read on here a while back almost word for word. It's ok to be reserved and not get into gossip. I'm that way and so are a lot of other nurses I know. Most of us don't even have time for gossip but we do vent to each other at times and have each other's back. If you aren't smiling and making an effort to say hi how are you doing once in a while then you aren't going to get to know anyone and they are going to think you don't like them and aren't going to trust you. You need to step a little out of your comfort zone and be friendly by smiling and even just saying hi(even when you don't feel like it or consider it fake). Why? Because you're providing customer service along with nursing. Do you think the cashier at Walmart or the hostess of a restaurant feels like smiling and asking how you are every single time? No they do it because they are told to so it makes you feel welcome and want to come back. It's the same thing. If you aren't making you're co-workers, who you know much better than a different patient each week, feel valued by smiling and speaking to them then they are going to naturally construe that you aren't making your patients feel that way which reflects badly on the hospital. Open up a little, practice, and after a while it will come more naturally. Would you rather work with someone who seemed friendly or someone who always seemed grumpy? You can't expect to get back what you aren't giving out. Good luck!

Gooselady, BSN, RN · Dec 18, 2014

I think the main reason I have an 'extraverted' (outgoing) way about myself is because I'm a nurse and have needed to come outside myself to do the job.

I'm sorry you didn't feel very supported when you had to talk to your supervisor. If you can, step back and without judging yourself, see if there is any truth to it. It is just how some people are, very quiet and serious. There's NOTHING wrong with that!

When they said 'pretend', that is really what you have to do. They don't mean pretend to be loud or laughing all the time, just smile a little more, make a little more eye contact, compose your face as if you are listening intently. This is no big deal to have to learn how to do, and it will feel 'fake' at first. But I guarantee you that YOU will enjoy the results!

I used to have the proverbial 'resting b*tch face' . I was never angry or anything, it was just my face! Someone pointed it out to me, and then someone else another time. Just realizing it must have made a difference because no one has said it since, in different jobs and circumstances.

For the sake of your career as a nurse, take this as a learning experience. Go ahead and work somewhere else, like starting over, and PRACTICE smiling a little more, making more eye contact. It is no big deal, and it will change things for the better more than you realize.

MARYRN2009 · Dec 19, 2014

Hello everyone I appreciate your different opinions. Really I do smile with patients and coworkers but the way I was told I think it went over the top that I needed to smile all the time. Actually I never had a problem before in other jobs. What really bothers me is that is not a patient safety issue but silly things not quality of care but smiling.

MARYRN2009 · Dec 19, 2014

Hi sorry but what does nety mean?