3. Assistant living facility: Fired after 3 months
My resume looks bad. I wanted to not include my last job but when recruiters ask what I did during those 3 months, i reallly don't know what to say. I really don't want to discuss why I got fired (you can view my post to see how bad of a nursing I am).
At at my Core, I love my job and feel that with all the lessons I've learned, I will be a great fit someone else if given the opportunity. I am working for an agency as a per diem nurse and my job was cancelled this morning. I am afraid of not being able to pay my bills.
... continuing to practice as an unsafe nurse. You've lost two jobs due to medication errors. That means whatever you're doing, you aren't fixing it. That is unsafe.
Nursing is the only thing I love and keeps me going for lack of better words. I'm afraid of what's gonna happen if I give up on it
I have exactly the same issue. I suffer from sever depression and have a **** load of anxiety attacks thinking too much about the future. I had so many ER visits thinking I had a heart attack to the point where all the nurses at the ER know me really well and I know them. The Doctor just sits there and waits for my panic attacks to go away then gives me anxiety medication. Its now a routine for the physician. If this is your passion then you need to go ZEN. I did this to help myself focus more and pursue my profession. By zen I mean meditate for days and soup up on your energy and do a full adrenaline burst studying none stop and pretending you will die if you fail. that makes my anxiety worse but helps with perfection. I train all night and day thinking about this career of mine days after days just like in the movies until my skills improve and after 1 month of going hard on myself my strengths got stronger and focusing was allot easier.
So you think because someone is saying "hang up the towel" they aren't being nice? hmmm interesting. People aren't going to always tell you what you want to hear. That's no need to be defensive. Sarcasm is very rude and undermining. It means you are mocking, conveying contempt, ridiculing, sneering, scorning or scoffing at someone. People don't like that. I am sure you wouldn't like that. You look at support as someone telling you what you want to hear and that is so unfortunate because that is the opposite of support. Someone just telling you what you want to hear does not have your best interest at heart. People are telling you the right thing but you are refusing to take the lessons. I know it's hard for us to see something as dysfunctional when we are in it, but I think everyone is correct. Yes you should put nursing on pause and take care of you right now. You have to. If you really really love nursing, it is in your best interest to take some time off, work another field while you work on yourself. If you don't, you WILL eventually lose your license and then you wont be able to practice at all ( Does that make any sense), plus the headache of being sued because you killed someone. You got to think about all these scenarios and stop thinking we are all against you because we aren't stroking your ego. As I said put on your big girl panties, do the responsible thing so that you can come back stronger and more inept to do nursing or you wont be able to do what you love at all if you continue down this path. Lashing out, being spiteful or sarcastic isn't going to help you, ACTION will. Action to take care of your health, your anxiety, your self-esteem, your whole being so that you can in turn be better equipped to take care of someone else's health and well-being. Do it because you love nursing, if for nothing else do it for that and stop all this madness of lashing out against people who are trying to help you even though we don't even know you. We don't eat our young we educate, we advocate, we sometimes give tough love but never maliciously because we know how important nursing is. Come on man
... continuing to practice as an unsafe nurse. You've lost two jobs due to medication errors. That means whatever you're doing, you aren't fixing it. That is unsafe.
This right here. Feelings, anxiety, bullying, etc...are not this issue. When someone dies, whose fault is it going to be? Who will be to blame?
Specializes in Case manager, float pool, and more.
We don't eat our young we educate, we advocate, we sometimes give tough love but never maliciously because we know how important nursing is. Come on man
Exactly. We responded because we care and want to help or offer suggestions.
Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
I wanted to became a nurse since I was a child. I wanted to help people and be a positive part of this world. I hated every job I held besides nursing. I love it. I wish I could silence my brain. When I feel attacked I say things I do mean. I didn't like the clinic because I sat all day and I have too much energy for that.
Don't give up on nursing or on yourself. I agree, go for private duty or home health.
In pediatric home health you stay with one patient for your whole shift. You get very familiar with meds, routines, etc.
This may help you to build yourself back up which is what you need.
You need to learn from your mistakes most of all. If you need help organizing, and time management... you need to use sheets,and get advice from other nurses...
and remember not to chart anything until completed.
We have ALL made mistakes. Nursing is not easy, otherwise lots of people would do it.
You need to work on being confident in yourself.
I think you should definitely network, and find people you can trust that have some level of experience who can help you. See if you can practice in a skills lab. The bigger hospitals have them, and so should many smaller ones.
See if you can visit the one in your old nursing school. Lots of places let former students come practice at certain times, or have continuing ed classes.
Try flu shot clinics in the fall... you will get a Lot of practice with shots. Keep looking and networking. Gain confidence in yourself, and really just be careful about your meds and documentation.
OP, can you apply for temporary disability? That can help for a few months while you get things sorted out. It sounds like you need a break for a bit.
I have pretty similar issues to what you've written about (low confidence, anxiety, depression, etc.), and I've found my niche in nursing to be private duty with a low acuity patient. It's one on one and I'm able to be organized and slowly build my confidence. I don't do well in high stress, fast paced enviroments. I highly suggest you look into this. Good luck to you!
Am I able to keep my license if I am not working as a nurse?
Yes, you can keep your license even if you aren't a nurse. I wouldn't recommend letting it go inactive, as you will have to pay more to get it reinstated depending on your state.
I'll tell my story: so I was a hospital nurse for 11 years. I switched to nights when my son was a baby and stayed on nights for about 3 years. Like you I struggle with depression and anxiety (more so depression). This was complicated by the fact that I couldn't sleep at all during the day. Even more so by not having reliable babysitting and me having to more or less come home after working 12 hours and be up with my son so my husband could go to work, only sleeping when he slept. I would literally go days without any sleep. I cut down to PRN but honestly it just made me more depressed as I felt I was losing a big part of myself. One night I royally messed up and forgot to turn a bed alarm on a fall risk patient. He got up and fell. Fortunately he wasn't seriously injured, but that and not remembering much about his fall, not remembering my interventions for the fall because I had been up 48 hours at that point and my memory was pretty much s***, dealing with my manager...I was done. I had already put in my notice as I was looking at opening a home daycare, but I was done that night. I had two more shifts to go, but I requested and got on call/cancelled for both of them.
I took about two months off to get myself mentally healthy again. I opened a home daycare and worked with that for a year and a half and absolutely loved it. I would still be doing it if my mom hadn't got sick. Now, I work in a school and feel like school nursing is what I was made to do.
There are so many different paths you can take in nursing and with an LPN license, you can do just about anything. However, if you don't get help for your issues they are going to follow you wherever you go. It's like putting a bandaid over a wound that really needs stitches. Going to a different place without addressing the main issue will just open the wound again. Regroup, get your issues addressed, and figure out your next path. Best of luck to you.
Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
I am going to say more. Hopefully it helps. I know what you are coming from, especially with the bullying and such. I did mention I got fired from my first job, and it was mostly because I didn't get along with anyone there and I'm pretty sure they were finding something to fire me for, which they did. After I left, I became very mentally unhealthy, feeling bad for myself and just having anxiety of working at a clinic (I still do). So when I found my job, I'm happy here because while I do interact with kids and my co-workers, I don't have people breathing down my breathe and I'm working at my own pace. Which I like, but I did learn more about myself and maybe it was also my fault in my old job. While I was slow and took my time, I interrupted too much, and my eccentric personality, I was different. I'm not sure what reasoning they had besides that I wasn't a good fit there, but I am glad I left.
But basically because of my past experience, my anxiety is bad, especially if I think I commit an error, I freak out and think I'm going to be fired. I had mistakes before that almost did, but what I learned is that while I may mess up badly, instead of worrying about the situation, causing my anxiety get worse, I should find a solution to the mistake and own up to what I did. As well because for a while I thought ill of everyone, my medication caused me to think people were bad and bullying me, but really, it's my imagination and attitude that causes others to react a certain way with me.
I'm not saying it's your fault for all the bad things in your life, but may be some of your reactions to things that causes people to react a way you don't want to.
One thing I always do is mentally think, as I walk through this door, all the issues outside of work is out of the door and will smile and be a happy MA for my kids, and that's what I do.
Change your perspective! Basically what I mean. As well, get help if you feel this is getting out of hand. I got a psychiatrist that does my ADD medication and a therapist that I see at least once every two months.
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inthecosmos, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN
511 Posts
... continuing to practice as an unsafe nurse. You've lost two jobs due to medication errors. That means whatever you're doing, you aren't fixing it. That is unsafe.