"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant)

[Marie_LPN, RN]

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.

Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire

It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.

I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."

In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.

[wolfgirl]

This sort of thing really cooks my frosting! I agree completely with the person who said that those of us do don't have kids are treated as if we were second-class citizens. How people choose to spend their holidays is no one else's business. In addition, I don't really care how many kids you have--I didn't make you pregnant. And if you didn't know that you would be required to work a few holidays in this 24/7 career of ours called nursing, then you are a fool. Perhaps law school would have been a better option. And I am tired of hearing how so-and-so can't make it to work on time at seven AM because he has to take his kids to school (so us night people have to stay until hits the floor); or how you have to leave early to pick up your kids, and then you can't understand why I get upset because you get all of this special treatment from management. I work just as hard, I went to school the same as you, but you do not have to be held to the same standards as I because I have not managed to produce any progeny. It's just nonsense. Sorry if I have offended anyone--I have nothing against children, just some irritation to those who think they are better than me because they have them and I don't.

[tlhubbard]

Honestly folks. We do work in a 24/7 type career. However there are SOOO many options out there. I have chosen my jobs to accommodate my family. Not chosen to make my job accommodate my family. I have been on both sides of the fence. But we have too many choices, not every job is 24/7. For those people like me who have children and need to make them the priority, then you need to choose your job according to your priority and not make everyone else pay for those decisions.

I have found that I am being paid more for my experience outside of the hospital setting in a specialty. Plus I have the M-F 8-5 deal. And IF I want to I can take call, and if not, I'm backed by agency. Can't beat that with a stick!!

[Lauren Chambers]

I am currently in my first year of training to become a nurse, and whilst i am loving every minute of it, i too get sick and tired of being treated "differently" for not having children.

At the end of the day, it is everones choice to have or not have children, and just because i don't, dosen't mean that my life and time is any less valuable than theirs!!!!

I have too, had to make saccrifices for what i love and what i want to do!

[Kaseyrn2b]

Honestly folks. We do work in a 24/7 type career. However there are SOOO many options out there. I have chosen my jobs to accommodate my family. Not chosen to make my job accommodate my family. I have been on both sides of the fence. But we have too many choices, not every job is 24/7. For those people like me who have children and need to make them the priority, then you need to choose your job according to your priority and not make everyone else pay for those decisions.

I have found that I am being paid more for my experience outside of the hospital setting in a specialty. Plus I have the M-F 8-5 deal. And IF I want to I can take call, and if not, I'm backed by agency. Can't beat that with a stick!!

a Bit off topic, BUT

I was wondering if anyone here has decided to put off nursing for this very reason...24/7 job? I have been slowly taking prereqs and toying w/ the idea of nursing school for yrs. I have 2 small kids and can't imagine missing Christmas( yes, on the day) and birthdays, church etc. I hear what people are saying about celebrating on different days, how serving the sick honors Christ more than anything, and I truly think they are some beautiful sentiments. However, I am not sure I can give it up. Maybe I' m just selfish. We did strange schedules w/ my hubby's job for years, and to me it stunk. he just got a normal 9-5 m-f gig about 3 yrs ago, and I have to admit its been wonderful. I guess I'm just wondering if I'd be better off waiting on being a nurse until the little munchkins weren't so little? Sorry to ramble, just curious if the schedule was a deal breaker for anyone here. I can't see doing anything but hosp work, the 9-5 stuff around here is very low-paying, at least for new-grads.

BTW, I'd never expect anyone, childfree or otherwise, to 'give' me the holiday just b/c I have kiddos...this is why I'm doing the soul searching now! :)

[fergus51]

If being home on the actual day of the holiday is that important to you, then I would suggest you put off nursing or go into a lower paying office job. If you want to work in the hospital, weekends and holidays are just a part of it.

[Cute_CNA, CNA]

Couldn't it be that anyone with kids 10 yrs old and under at least should have xmas morning off? My kids are 20 and 23 yrs old but still want mommy there on xmas morning with presents from santa!!!Biggest day of year for kids moms should be there!!!

Excuse me while I :chuckle :rotfl: :roll

No, because that would be giving preferential treatment to people because of their "child" status. I don't think it's fair that someone would get rewarded just because they had children. Having children is a personal decision, and personal decisions are none of anyone's business anyway, so it's irrelevant to the workplace.

[SmilingBluEyes]

If being home on the actual day of the holiday is that important to you, then I would suggest you put off nursing or go into a lower paying office job. If you want to work in the hospital, weekends and holidays are just a part of it.

Yes, ORRRRRRRRRRRRRR really try and remember what the whole SEASON is about and focus, instead, on how fortunate you are to :

1) Have a family to celebrate with.

2) Have a job that is relatively secure. (some are unemployed or facing this at the Holiday time----and it stinks)

3) Have the means to change the situation if it does not suit your personal situation.

4) Are not YOURSELF a patient in the hospital during your sacred holiday.

5) Are *home* for the holidays, unlike many others who may be away for a variety reasons, such as military duty.

Anyway you look at it, you got it better than a lot of others; try appreciating it. If you *are* stucking working Christmas (or another special day), try bringing some cheer to your coworkers and/or patients during a time that can be sacred, special, holy OR rather difficult for others. Try to make the best of it; it's only ONE day.

And please, quit putting your child-related woes and concerns on your childfree coworkers. That is what maturity is.

[Q.]

And I am tired of hearing how so-and-so can't make it to work on time at seven AM because he has to take his kids to school (so us night people have to stay until hits the floor); or how you have to leave early to pick up your kids, and then you can't understand why I get upset because you get all of this special treatment from management.

This is PRECISELY why I didn't have children when I was staffing. The daycare opens as early as 0630, and my kids can only be there for 10 hours before I get charged $5 per minute over. So I can well relate to drop off/pick up schedules, but I also can relate to "special circumstances" given to co-workers because of this.

My friends' kids' school does start until 0900 and they missed the deadline for before-school programs. Holy crap, if they were a nurse, what would they do??

This is why I waited until I had a M-F, predictable, salaried position before having children. There is no way I could've managed fairly before.

[Kaseyrn2b]

This is PRECISELY why I didn't have children when I was staffing. The daycare opens as early as 0630, and my kids can only be there for 10 hours before I get charged $5 per minute over. So I can well relate to drop off/pick up schedules, but I also can relate to "special circumstances" given to co-workers because of this.

My friends' kids' school does start until 0900 and they missed the deadline for before-school programs. Holy crap, if they were a nurse, what would they do??

This is why I waited until I had a M-F, predictable, salaried position before having children. There is no way I could've managed fairly before.

exactly! Thanks for helping me w/ this decision I'll be here lurking:rotfl:

[Kaseyrn2b]

Yes, ORRRRRRRRRRRRRR really try and remember what the whole SEASON is about and focus, instead, on how fortunate you are to :

1) Have a family to celebrate with.

2) Have a job that is relatively secure. (some are unemployed or facing this at the Holiday time----and it stinks)

3) Have the means to change the situation if it does not suit your personal situation.

4) Are not YOURSELF a patient in the hospital during your sacred holiday.

5) Are *home* for the holidays, unlike many others who may be away for a variety reasons, such as military duty.

Anyway you look at it, you got it better than a lot of others; try appreciating it. If you *are* stucking working Christmas (or another special day), try bringing some cheer to your coworkers and/or patients during a time that can be sacred, special, holy OR rather difficult for others. Try to make the best of it; it's only ONE day.

And please, quit putting your child-related woes and concerns on your childfree coworkers. That is what maturity is.

Ummm, who are you directing this to? I certainly hope not me. I am not even in school, let alone 'putting my child-related woes and concerns on my childfree coworkers.' the quote you responded to was directed to me, a thinking-about-nursing type who is pretty sure she wants to wait until all these 'woes' aren't an issue, or can at least drive themselves around :) I was just wondering out loud...isn't that the percursor to you-knew-what-you-signed-up-for? Sheesh!

[flashpoint]

I actually sort of like working holidays...they are usually quiet on the floor, the ER is usually hopping, there are usually really good snacks, and I don't have to do the dishes at home. My family understands about celebrating on the 26th or 27th or whatever and it is nice to be able to run out to the store if I forget something that needs to go in my dressing or something...and if I don't feel like cooking, the restaurants are always open on the 26th! :)

Either way, I don't see how anyone could go into nursing thinking they could work in a patient care area and not have to work holidays, weekends, nights, or whatever...did they honestly think they are special or that someone else would pick up the less desired shifts all of the time? Everyone has a life outside the hospital (nursing home, etc) and everyone has had to pull a shift or two when they would have liked to be doing something else. If someone wants to work 9-5, M-F, they are in the wrong career if they are a nurse...

I just love this smile!

[GrnHonu99, RN]

I don't have kids so I dont mind working christmas..actually, that time and half pay certainly makes up for it!!!!!!! My mom has worked in a hospital since I was 7. She has had to work her fair share of Christmases and Thanksgivings...we always understood and my sister and I were just as happy opening our gifts at 3pm rather than 7pm (of course we did a lot of peeking!)