I noticed that this thread seems to be missing since the transfer so thought I would resurrect it. If I'm wrong and it is hiding somewhere then let me know.
OK, it's been a while so lets see if we can get this going again.
I killed a spider with a shoe earlier. I don't know how he lost the other seven.
Every selfie I have ever taken is also a portrait of a confused, elderly man trying to figure out which button to press on his phone.
People don't like me reading over their shoulder on trains or buses, which is ridiculous as I'm not even that loud and I do ALL the voices.
Red wine and fish certainly don't mix, in fact mine died.
I've just bought the dictionary as an audiobook, which says it all really.
Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know.
I'm beginning to think my chiropractor is just manipulating me.
I can't 'Go To Hell'. Satan has a restraining order against me.
After 35 years as a nurse, I was thinking I've already worked there.
Not to brag, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it.
Did that just the other day while searching for something using Google ON THE D***ED COMPUTER, which was right in front of me with the search bar open.
I'm so tired of the bags under my eyes being bigger than my boobs.
My problem is the opposite... Not a good look for a male. ?
"Trust me, you CAN dance!!" said Alcohol.
Oh yes, many a time.
I don't know how to act my age. I've never been this old before.
This one I really like. I may steal it.
I can't 'Go To Hell'. Satan has a restraining order against me.
After 35 years as a nurse, I was thinking I've already worked there.
Not to brag, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it.
Did that just the other day while searching for something using Google ON THE D***ED COMPUTER, which was right in front of me with the search bar open.
"Trust me, you CAN dance!!" said Alcohol.
Oh yes, many a time.
I don't know how to act my age. I've never been this old before.
Hmmm.... must be getting old, I managed to duplicate a couple of the responses above. Sorry, probably means I have wiped the ones I was going to comment on.
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
Once I have clicked on Submit Reply, if I want to go back and change a word or correct some spelling, the computer lets me do it, but THEN, there is no box that says Submit Reply after I do that. So, then I go back to the post, and the corrections I made aren't there. Kinda aggravating. But, oh well!
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
Sorry that I have been absent from this thread for a while. I don't have anything lengthy to add today, just this one piece of a sentence I read; I like it a LOT!
"I AM FLUENTLY SILENT IN AT LEAST THREE LANGUAGES."
Hello all, it has been a while so here's some more silliness.
Choosing a wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of £5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the £5,000. She gives him back his £5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau:
190,374 people are having sex right now,
212,130 are kissing,
And 1 poor soul is reading jokes.
You hang in there sunshine!
The older you are and the longer you have been married, the funnier this is.
The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning.
I said to her, “If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff.”
Now why would you want me to do something like that?” she asked.
“I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff.”
She looked at me and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"
Is this not true love ?He!He!
One time there was a fire at a voodoo doll factory and 10,000 people died.
If I had a motto I think it would be Je Ne Regrette Rien, although I don't know what that means as I mucked about in French lessons and I wish I hadn't now.
"I rang you but I couldn't get through."
"What number did you call me on?"
"X, IV, X, C, I, III, L, M, X, VII."
"Sorry, that's an old number."
OK, that's enough for now. I hope everyone is having a good weekend.
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
This isn't really groan worthy but it is still rather interesting:
The Pittsburgh Pirates have a new guy who is playing the field position of Short Stop. His name is Cruz, His jersey # is 15, and the man is 6' 7" tall!
Specializes in Education, FP, LNC, Forensics, ED, OB.
4 minutes ago, No Stars In My Eyes said:
This isn't really groan worthy but it is still rather interesting:
The Pittsburgh Pirates have a new guy who is playing the field position of Short Stop. His name is Cruz, His jersey # is 15, and the man is 6' 7" tall!
"I'm changing my username on facebook to "Nobody" so that when someone posts something stupid and I hit like they get a notification that "Nobody Likes This".
GrumpyRN, NP
1,344 Posts
I can't 'Go To Hell'. Satan has a restraining order against me.
After 35 years as a nurse, I was thinking I've already worked there.
Not to brag, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it.
Did that just the other day while searching for something using Google ON THE D***ED COMPUTER, which was right in front of me with the search bar open.
I'm so tired of the bags under my eyes being bigger than my boobs.
My problem is the opposite... Not a good look for a male. ?
"Trust me, you CAN dance!!" said Alcohol.
Oh yes, many a time.
I don't know how to act my age. I've never been this old before.
This one I really like. I may steal it.
I can't 'Go To Hell'. Satan has a restraining order against me.
After 35 years as a nurse, I was thinking I've already worked there.
Not to brag, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it.
Did that just the other day while searching for something using Google ON THE D***ED COMPUTER, which was right in front of me with the search bar open.
"Trust me, you CAN dance!!" said Alcohol.
Oh yes, many a time.
I don't know how to act my age. I've never been this old before.
This one I really like. I may steal it.