Funny things you have said but wish you didn't

mama_d, BSN, RN · Oct 24, 2008

I'm post-op from a hysto, some aspects of which have been difficult for my husband to deal with.

We were at my in-law's for dinner the other night, with the kids playing in the garage with a variety of different kinds of balls. Our two year old was after some of the bouncy balls to play with. I turned to my hubby and said "Honey, can you hand me those blue balls?" Luckily I don't think anyone heard me, including him...I amended the statement when I had to repeat myself.

Sunshyne2008 · Oct 24, 2008

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out.
That remark started the person on the other end's funnybone. In response to my question, he yelled to the help, "Do we have any toilet paper? The lady on the phone wants to know." Then he said, "Yes we do, but it's rather coorifice. What grade would you like?"

LOL:D

growing777 · Nov 13, 2008

I work in Pediatrics, and we use anesthesia for many of our procedures. Our Peds anesthesiologists are notorious for just shutting off the Propofol gtt when the procedure is over and never flushing the IV. The kids then go to recovery before returning to the unit. No one in Recovery flushes the IV, either. By the time we get them back to the unit, with Propofol still in the line, they have been awake and alert for a little while. We either have to flush what's left of the Propofol, or start a new IV. Often, if it's a peripheral line, it has clotted off by the time we get them back.

I had sent a child down for a GI procedure, and I knew the anesthesiologist on that day typically was a non-flusher. The kid came back to his room, and I checked the chart, noting that new IV meds had been ordered.

I went into his room to hang the first med and, without thinking, I said, "God, I hope Dr. C remembered to flush when he was done!" The pt's father was sitting there giving me the strangest look. Realizing how that sounded, I said, "Maybe I should rephrase that." Dad said, "Yeah, I didn't know you guys were on such intimate terms." :angryfire

meintheUSA · Nov 13, 2008

I work in Pediatrics, and we use anesthesia for many of our procedures. Our Peds anesthesiologists are notorious for just shutting off the Propofol gtt when the procedure is over and never flushing the IV. The kids then go to recovery before returning to the unit. No one in Recovery flushes the IV, either. By the time we get them back to the unit, with Propofol still in the line, they have been awake and alert for a little while. We either have to flush what's left of the Propofol, or start a new IV. Often, if it's a peripheral line, it has clotted off by the time we get them back.
I had sent a child down for a GI procedure, and I knew the anesthesiologist on that day typically was a non-flusher. The kid came back to his room, and I checked the chart, noting that new IV meds had been ordered.
I went into his room to hang the first med and, without thinking, I said, "God, I hope Dr. C remembered to flush when he was done!" The pt's father was sitting there giving me the strangest look. Realizing how that sounded, I said, "Maybe I should rephrase that." Dad said, "Yeah, I didn't know you guys were on such intimate terms." :angryfire

:yeah: :lol2:LOLKOLOL

Melinurse · Nov 14, 2008

God bless those little old ladies who are obsessed with their bowels. Well, I had one a week ago who I noticed had not had a BM in 5 days. Of course I start her on MOM. Next day, I have same patient. I took her to the bathroom where she passed the biggest BM I've ever seen! :eek: She looks at me and says, " Did I have a bowel movement? " First thing I said was, " If it was any bigger you'd have to be sent to labor and delivery for an epidural. " Thank God she thought it was funny too.:chuckle

mumarada, BSN, RN · Nov 14, 2008

This thread is so funny!! Thanks for a great laugh.

I worked in CCU a few years ago and I saw one of the Cardio Fellows. I asked him where he was working this month; cath lab, EPS, echo, etc. He said he was working in the EPS lab and the other doctor was in the cath lab. He then said, 'We're the electricians and they're the plumbers!' I thought it was funny. Only a nurse would understand this one.

britgirl37 · Nov 30, 2008

A few years ago I was leaving one hospital to go for another job, I saw one of my previous supervisors (who I'd really enjoyed working with) who I hadn't seen in a while and stopped to have a chat and say goodbye. Towards the end of the the conversation I gave her congratulations, as it looked like she was expecting, and asked her when the baby was due - "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat" was the answer.

Haven't seen her since.....

RedWeasel, RN · Dec 7, 2008

this isn't exactly from work but one Christmas my Aunt and Uncle brought a video of Ansel Adams photography to watch. The side of the video from a library read "Adams, Ansel." I appreciate him now but then it was pretty boring (yeah, I get it, snow and mountains-we may have been waiting to open presents so that factored in too)...anyway my four brothers ended up in the kitchen talking and smoking cigars while the 'elders' watched the video. I walked in and said in a low but loud voice. "Some Christmas. Sitting around watching Adams orifice." I didn't realize what I said till one of my brothers cigars fell out of their mouths, and another whispered 'how does she know that word?'.... I spit out the pop I was drinking through my nose (which hurts btw)...my brother is a photographer now...he reminds me of this every Christmas...then I remind him what I do for a living....guess you had to be there....

LovingLearning · Dec 10, 2008

I am a nursing student in a diverse population area. Most of my patients speak spanish. I don't. I'm trying to learn, but not having much success. I do my best to learn new words, and this weekend learned the word for rabbits/bunnies "conejos.

So yesterday, while I was talking to my patient, I was telling him I learned a new spanish word. He asked what it was, and I proudly announced:

"Cajones."

Which, of course, means testicles or (fill in the slang here...) in spanish. Until both he and the nurse overseeing me burst into laughter, I didn't realize what had happened.

I stammered, stuttered, and finally just gave in to embarrassed laughter. There the three of us were, rolling. I was bright red, too.

Oh well. I'm still going to work on my spanish...I will just be more careful about transposing letters in the future.

Best-

Lovin' Learning

ShelleyERgirl, LPN · Dec 13, 2008

I used to work in a busy internal med office and occasionally I would help answer phones. One busy Monday, the phones were crazy and I had to put numerous people on hold, finally we had calmed down some and I answered my 70th (felt that way) with " Thanks for calling XYZ office, how may I hold you?:imbar The poor little old lady on the other end was just a little perturbed with me and stated she didn't want anyone to hold her, thank you very much!

mumarada, BSN, RN · Dec 13, 2008

I am a nursing student in a diverse population area. Most of my patients speak spanish. I don't. I'm trying to learn, but not having much success. I do my best to learn new words, and this weekend learned the word for rabbits/bunnies "conejos.
So yesterday, while I was talking to my patient, I was telling him I learned a new spanish word. He asked what it was, and I proudly announced:
"Cajones."
Which, of course, means testicles or (fill in the slang here...) in spanish. Until both he and the nurse overseeing me burst into laughter, I didn't realize what had happened.
I stammered, stuttered, and finally just gave in to embarrassed laughter. There the three of us were, rolling. I was bright red, too.
Oh well. I'm still going to work on my spanish...I will just be more careful about transposing letters in the future.
Best-
Lovin' Learning

Too Funny!

ladyval · Dec 15, 2008

I used to work at a retirement home in the kitchen. One day, we were serving chicken and this little old man came through the line. I asked him if he wanted white or dark meat and he replied that he wanted a breast if it was small. I said, without thinking, "I'm sorry all I have are big breasts" There was dead silence for a few seconds and then the entire line burst out laughing. I was so mortified.:imbar