Funny things you have said but wish you didn't

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A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out.

That remark started the person on the other end's funnybone. In response to my question, he yelled to the help, "Do we have any toilet paper? The lady on the phone wants to know." Then he said, "Yes we do, but it's rather coorifice. What grade would you like?"

Specializes in Renal, Haemo and Peritoneal.

I once worked in a nursing home and one of my colleagues was congratulating oneof the relatives saying "It is so nice to see how much you care for you mother by coming every day and feeding her lunch" he said " Mother? She's my wife!"

Nuff said!

NEVER assume the relationship is what it seems! :)

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Recently, while working a shift in LTC, a resident asked me to guess her age. Well... Honestly, she looked 90 and had the personality of an angel. She bubbled around the facility in a walker with her rotund body.

I, in my "wisdom" replyed quickly "75"! Her face dropped, she told me she was 69 and soon to be 70 :imbar !!!

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
I used to be a waitress at a Denny's Restaurant. I remember waiting on a customer so politely "Hi, how are you sir." "What would you like to order sir?" 'Sir' looked at me coldly and said, " Well first, you can call me M'am!" Possibly the most embarassing moment in my life (so far)
Heh! I get that over the phone all the time. :rolleyes: Me a man. Honestly. I mean I do grow a beard and a mustache, but give me a break. I do get them shaved off every now and then.
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I once pulled up to the drive-thru at McDonalds and asked for a large flies and diet coke- to which the guy replied-" Do you want the flies with or without wings?" Whoops!!!:imbar

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
I once pulled up to the drive-thru at McDonalds and asked for a large flies and diet coke- to which the guy replied-" Do you want the flies with or without wings?" Whoops!!!:imbar
:chuckle I have often pulled up to a McDonalds and asked for a whopper. They always said they didn't make them there. The nerve.:chuckle
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One of my first times giving an injection in the hip, I said to the pt, "your gonna feel a little prick in your butt" yeah I could have died.

Me and my son like to have fun with the telemarketers, One guy called from the KC Star, I'm sure he was trying to sell me a newspaper subscription, but before he got his spill out I told him politely, "I was over the whole thing and didn't want to give any more interviews and frankly in my opinion it was all blown out of proportion by the media anyways" and hung up...........it was perty funny just wondering what he must have been thinking about me :rotfl:

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:chuckle I have often pulled up to a McDonalds and asked for a whopper. They always said they didn't make them there. The nerve.:chuckle

How dare them not give you a Whopper!! :angryfire

I hope you let them have it on that Press-Gainey survey....oh wait, that's right. McDonalds is much smarter than hospitals and does not kill trees in the name of such foolishness.

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

When I get in my silly mood, and the telephone rings, I sometimes answer,

"fearlessfanny's house of pleasure. How may I help you?" I usually either a click or it goes silent on the other end.:D

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When I get in my silly mood, and the telephone rings, I sometimes answer,

"fearlessfanny's house of pleasure. How may I help you?" I usually either a click or it goes silent on the other end.:D

At LTC facility I worked at, we would give the marketers made up names, and wait for the mail to roll in under that name.....One time the Administrator said that the person she needed to talk to was named Margret Sniffles, the office manager took the call, and was sniffling the whole time she was talking to them, then she ended the call by saying she had to go cuz she needed to blow her nose. And believe it or not, Mrs Sniffles received a few peices of junk mail

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Another fast food story...

I worked two part time jobs the first year out of high school, Burger King and one of those film developing places. The drive thru at BK was open until 3am on weekends. One weekend near the end of the shift, I answered the drive thru...

"Hi, welcome to Burger King, can I take your picture please?"

Given the time of the morning, the guy placing his order asked if I wanted that picture with or without clothes!

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When I get in my silly mood, and the telephone rings, I sometimes answer,

"fearlessfanny's house of pleasure. How may I help you?" I usually either a click or it goes silent on the other end.:D

Fran, I often answer my phone, "house of beauty, this is cutie!" I usually get loud laughs. :chuckle

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i asked my pt last night if he knew what year it is; he replied, "1999"

to which i said, "no it is 2002" :rolleyes: :chuckle

may i adapt a saying my husband likes and say... when orrienting a confused pt make sure he is not equally needing to orrient you!:rotfl:

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