Funny things that pts say

santhony44, MSN, RN, NP · Jan 11, 2008

wait. Why would u put the O2 stat probe on his member? Can't it go anywhere else?

I expect that Ruby didn't put it there. More than likely the patient did this all by himself.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jan 12, 2008

i expect that ruby didn't put it there. more than likely the patient did this all by himself.

the patient removed the probe from his finger and put it on his member.

peridotgirl · Jan 12, 2008

the patient removed the probe from his finger and put it on his member.

wow! omg. actually, that's where the probe is suppsoed to be-- on ur finger. i actually never thought that the pt was capable of removing the probe and putting it there... goes to show ya anything can happen in nursing. :yeahthat: :banghead:

nitenurse02 · Jan 21, 2008

We had a patient who was actively dying and the aide was having trouble getting a pressure. Knowing that someone in the family had a medical background but not knowing which one, I went in to take the pressure. (it wasn't my pt, just helping out the nurse) it was low and very faint and I wasn't sure if they family was kidding or not (they weren't) when they asked me how long she would last without a pressure reading. I wasn't sure what to say to that, but went with a simple head shake and "not long"

Suninmyheart · Jan 28, 2008

Another nursing student story....

LTC. A little old lady with dementia, very angry all the time, yells out one insult after another, swears... it's around christmas and a few nurses go in her room to sing carols and she kicks them out. Next time a whole group of us go in there and start singin "Jingle Bells".

She looks around at all of us, smiles, then sweetly joins in "Jingle bells jingle bells jingle UP YOUR ***, now GET OUTTA HERE!"

JaredCNA, CNA · Feb 5, 2008

This isn't something a pt said, but I think it is worth mentioning.

There is this awesome nurse in ICU that I've worked with several times when I got pulled down. She told me that one time she was taking care of a pt on a vent that had been pretty much non-responsive to stimuli for about two weeks.

Every night, she said, he was passing gas all night long. And she mentioned that it was very audible and very odorous. She said, well, after two weeks of caring for him, I just assumed since he was doing it all the time...that I could pass gas around him. She figured it wouldn't make any difference since he was on the vent and couldn't smell anything.

So that night she passed gas in front of him for the first time and his eyes opened wide and he just had this disgusting look on his face. First documented time he had moved in two weeks! :rotfl:

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Feb 5, 2008

This isn't something a pt said, but I think it is worth mentioning.
There is this awesome nurse in ICU that I've worked with several times when I got pulled down. She told me that one time she was taking care of a pt on a vent that had been pretty much non-responsive to stimuli for about two weeks.
Every night, she said, he was passing gas all night long. And she mentioned that it was very audible and very odorous. She said, well, after two weeks of caring for him, I just assumed since he was doing it all the time...that I could pass gas around him. She figured it wouldn't make any difference since he was on the vent and couldn't smell anything.
So that night she passed gas in front of him for the first time and his eyes opened wide and he just had this disgusting look on his face. First documented time he had moved in two weeks! :rotfl:

wonder how she charted that. :bugeyes:

KarafromPhilly · Feb 5, 2008

wonder how she charted that.

Responsive to noxious stimulus?

JaredCNA, CNA · Feb 5, 2008

I don't know but it is so funny because she is from the old school, a diploma nurse who has been in critical care since the early '80s. You should hear her explain the story.

She'll tell you, without a change in facial expresion, "Well, he'd been farting around me for the past two weeks. I felt like we got to know each other and were family because he felt comfortable enough to pass gas in front of me...so I thought I could do it back."

ladyval · Feb 5, 2008

Had a pt yesterday who was in for rapid atrial fib. His primary doctors told him the the electrophysiology doctor would come evaluate him for a cardioversion. I asked him about an hour later how he was and he said "just fine, waiting for that electric doctor" It had been a rough day and that definately brightened it up. Later after the doc had come in. I said was that the electric doctor and he said "yup and she was."

nursebabygirl 08 · May 20, 2008

Sometimes sweet innocence can make your whole day......
I once had a pt who had really bad gas as I was helping her into the tub and she stated to me "no need to turn on the jets today honey, cause I'm self propelled!":rotfl:
I once had a pt ask me what time her "autopsy was scheduled for that day", I smiled and said "your BIOPSY will be later today".
I once had a little old lady ask me if I liked my job because I got to look at naked men all day.... :imbar
Just the other day I had an 84 year old lady ask me if I knew if her amniocentesis was scheduled for today or tomorrow. What she was asking about was her thoracentesis..

Now that's funny!!

nursebabygirl 08 · May 20, 2008

I work at a GI office. Well one dasy in walked a little , petite, prissy lady to have a colonoscopy. After doing her vitals and getting her ready to have the procedure;she was instructed to lay on her left side, while turing over the pt commented" look at my crack hole and tell me that it don't look like a tulip garden down there:lol2: The doctor was in the room and she didn't know it ... i had to turn away from them both before i busted a gut from laughing.