it appropriate to go..........

Nurses General Nursing


........ and give your condolences for someone you had taken care of in the hospital??? I had taken care of this lady for several weeks and saw in todays paper she passed away.

Is this a no-no or is it appropriate for me to go to the calling hours


335 Posts

I have been taking care of a lady now for a couple of months, and I don't think she has much longer. When she does pass, I would certainly send a note of condolence, but I don't think I would attend visiting hours. ALthough I have had occasion to speak to her and her family about the most intimate of issues, I still feel it is a disfferent relationship than would merit a visit to her funeral. Just my opinion - how do the hospice nurses out there handle such things?


435 Posts

I've gone before and was always got a sincerely warm reception from the families. They said they were really touched that I came. As long as it's posted publicly and it doesn't state that it's only for family, why not?

Nurse Ratched, RN

2,149 Posts

Specializes in Geriatrics/Oncology/Psych/College Health.

I have gone, espcially in cases where there was a special connection with the patient and family. As jadednurse said, I have also always gotten a warm reception (after they stare for a second and finally realize who I am without my scrubs ;).)

Specializes in med/surg, cardiac/telemetry, hospice.

I don't see any problem, as long as you don't go "representing" your facility. Public funerals are just that, and you count as the public.

Many families are grateful that such care is shown to their loved one, even after death. Besides, as nurses don't we care for the family unit, as well?


180 Posts

I don't care what anyone thinks about what is technically "right". If I had a bond with someone, I would like to say goodbye in this way and pay my respects to the person. After all, I am a person first, THEN a nurse. We are all souls on this earth no matter what profession we claim. It goes beyond that.


345 Posts

You folks are braver than me, I can't handle funerals...I am too much of a crybaby


140 Posts

Thank you soooooooo much for your replies. She had been married for over 60 years and her husband was ALWAYS at her side. He had taken her home about 2 weeks ago because that is where she wanted to be.


652 Posts

I agree with katscan...well said :)


6,011 Posts


Go and pay your respects. You were a valuable part of her life.

Specializes in psych/mental health.

When my BIL died, our hospice nurse came to the funeral home. She helped my whole family through an achingly difficult time, and we were so grateful.



92 Posts

People look different in clothes, as i like to say so it doesw normally take a second for the family to recognize you . . . but working on a floor that has end stage oncology pts for long periods of time, i care for these people for weeks sometimes more before death. My co workers and i end up knowing pt and family very well. Especially if it is a pt we have had an extended time many staf members will go, and we are always met warmly, sometimes with comments like they hoped someone would come but didnt think we would. It shows them sometimes that we do care about them and their loved one and it isnt just a "job"

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