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Fun end of year complaints

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by kidzcare kidzcare (Member)

kidzcare has 5 years experience .

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Woo! The last weeks of school when teachers and students have all had enough! Let the crazy complaints roll!! What are the most off the wall student complaints you've had?

My favorite end of year health office visits came from the same 5th grade student with a history of coming to the health office for weird crap about 2 days apart. 

Number 1

Student: (standing in doorway of health office) It feels like all my bones are turning to mush

Me: ....uh

Student: Like, mushy. 

Me: Well, you walked down here just fine and you're standing which uses your bones... so I'm pretty sure you're gonna be ok. 

Student: ....

Me: Head back to class now. 

Number 2 (I'm now wise to her)

Student: My earlobes feel squishy

Me: That's not a thing. Go back to class. 

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SaltineQueen specializes in School Nurse, past Med Surge.

1 Follower; 5,840 Visitors; 725 Posts

3 minutes ago, kidzcare said:

Woo! The last weeks of school when teachers and students have all had enough! Let the crazy complaints roll!! What are the most off the wall student complaints you've had?

My favorite end of year health office visits came from the same 5th grade student with a history of coming to the health office for weird crap about 2 days apart. 

Number 1

Student: (standing in doorway of health office) It feels like all my bones are turning to mush

Me: ....uh

Student: Like, mushy. 

Me: Well, you walked down here just fine and you're standing which uses your bones... so I'm pretty sure you're gonna be ok. 

Student: ....

Me: Head back to class now. 

Number 2 (I'm now wise to her)

Student: My earlobes feel squishy

Me: That's not a thing. Go back to class. 

Earlobes are squishy.

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SaltineQueen specializes in School Nurse, past Med Surge.

1 Follower; 5,840 Visitors; 725 Posts

I had a kid complaining of chest pain the other day who said it "feels like a chunk of my heart broke off in my chest."   

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I had a FF come in to request Lexapro because "I just can't handle the school stress without medications". 

Yeah, wait while I grab that out of my secret stash to give to you without a prescription or authorization. 

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kidzcare has 5 years experience.

19,432 Visitors; 3,319 Posts

32 minutes ago, kunaspud said:

 

Yeah, wait while I grab that out of my secret stash to give to you without a prescription or authorization. 

Am I to understand that we are NOT supposed to run through the school sprinkling Xanax around like a priest with holy water during these last few weeks? 

Hm. I'm gonna look into the NASN position statement on this. 

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"My teacher sent me down to have you wash out this wound I have on my foot." (10 minutes after school started)

A-I knew she was lying because that teacher would have never sent her down for something like that B-Her "foot wound" was a blister 🙄

Edited by jess11RN

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1 minute ago, kidzcare said:

Am I to understand that we are NOT supposed to run through the school sprinkling Xanax around like a priest with holy water during these last few weeks? 

Hm. I'm gonna look into the NASN position statement on this. 

I think they support an Ativan diffuser. Check it out and let me know...

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kidzcare has 5 years experience.

19,432 Visitors; 3,319 Posts

3 minutes ago, jess11RN said:

I think they support an Ativan diffuser. Check it out and let me know...

Like, pumped out through the vent system? I'm on board. 

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BiscuitRN has 4 years experience as a BSN, RN.

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Kid with a broken leg "can you give me a note so I can play softball in PE?  I can just hit the ball and someone else will run for me." 🤨 No, child, I cannot.

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ruby_jane has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.

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Valium salt lick probably isn't hygenic. I think NASN is on board with the Ativan diffuser as long as it doesn't have essential oils in it.

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524 Visitors; 46 Posts

NASN is probably totally on board as long as your nurse budget can handle the hit.

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MrNurse(x2) has 28 years experience as a ADN and specializes in IMC, school nursing.

3 Followers; 1 Article; 9,181 Visitors; 2,390 Posts

Had 3 stomach aches in a row this morning, found out the teacher was doing "silent class", something pretty foreign in our alternative school. I do, however, allow free passes to students I haven't seen all year and aren't up to the day. 

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