Sigh! This is a very long and complicated situation. Basically, I have been forced to leave a job that I love because a few people in management do not like me and have made my life hell. This situation has affected me so much that I can't let it go when I am not at work. It affects every aspect of my life. I even considered ending my life because of the mental anguish and fear that I have for these people.
Needless to say, I have left this facility. It took a while because I really loved my job and am darn good at it. Now, because I was written up I can't transfer to another job within this corporation (it is a major one in my area). Given the economy, the job search is not going well.
I need to know if anyone has filed any legal suits against an employer for mental abuse and if there are any great resources out there. This situation has scarred me so badly that at times I have considered leaving the profession. Upper management and administration are sticking by the people in management who are involved in this and are not supporting me at all.
When I was working as a PTA in a nursing home about 8 years ago I reported 3 techs for verbally and physically abusing a patient. Then management told the techs I was the one that reported them.
The techs came into the PT gym and backed me into a wall and threatened me. My fellow workers were so scared and schocked that they hid behind a door and just watched.
I reported this behavior to management and the techs were suspended for a day without pay. I think the cops should have been called. But I was naive and inexperienced at that time. I would not tolerate such behavior now.
Needless to say I was the one most punished because I had to quit the job because it wasn't safe for me to go back there anymore to work.
When I was working as a PTA in a nursing home about 8 years ago I reported 3 techs for verbally and physically abusing a patient. Then management told the techs I was the one that reported them.
The techs came into the PT gym and backed me into a wall and threatened me. My fellow workers were so scared and schocked that they hid behind a door and just watched.
I reported this behavior to management and the techs were suspended for a day without pay. I think the cops should have been called. But I was naive and inexperienced at that time. I would not tolerate such behavior now.
Needless to say I was the one most punished because I had to quit the job because it wasn't safe for me to go back there anymore to work.
When you feel the way you do it seems like it will never go away and you will never feel better. That is NOT the case. You will feel better nothing lasts forever including that overwhelming grief, anger and frustration at having been treated like crap.
I am so very sorry for your experience and have had similar myself. Once when I was in my early 20's and another one recently. What I have to say my not be what you want to hear but it is as a result of my experiences...
For four years I was somewhere that I loved to work, thought I was doing a great job, got promoted was referred to as someone with great leadership skills blah blah blah. My story is complicated and long as well so I won't bore everyone. I had a rather small conflict with someone senior, who I actually had always really liked, and it blew up into some crazy stuff. They asked me to leave and I was devastated. This had never happened to me before.
Most important is you must look after yourself in this situation and although it may feel like taking these people to court will "help" you, it is not necessarily the case. The simple fact is that the cultures and subcultures of places where this stuff happens do not lend themselves to what they perceive as an attack. Also, as I am sure you know, it is a small world and you want to be able to move around and work in it without fear that your good name (or what is left of it) has been called into question. Usually, when a lawsuit is in the air, the company targeted gets defensive and just starts making stuff up or taking perfectly innocent actions and paint them with dreadful motives. In your delicate frame of mind this will not be good for you.
It does not sound to me like you have the emotional bandwidth at present for a lawsuit -- and that is OK. You do not always have to fight the good fight.
The extremely sad fact of these situation is that right now you are paying what sounds like a bloody awful price for some nasty and probably highly unfair behaviour. The other sad fact is that there is highly unfair behaviour is many places. Frankly, I hate to say all of that because injustice and bad behaviour makes me bonkers when it happens to others and has been devastating when it has happened to me.
Right now you should sick with people who love and support you -- family, friends, church or whatever. If you have friends at that place you may wish to NOT speak to them for a while. This will prevent you from wanting to ask for information about the perpetrators etc. and hence, putting your friends in a difficult position (of course you should tell them you are just cooling off). Get out and about! Do your best to NOT sit and stew on this alone in your head. These people DO NOT deserve to take up space in your head so do not let them.
All the hurt and anger that you feel now is probably justified but I bloody bet that the people who perpetrated this stuff are not giving this very much thought -- because people like that do not really care nor will they even if there is a lawsuit. In order to behave as badly as they did they will have justified it somehow in their own minds.
I have vowed to myself, after my experiences, that when I am in a position to make a difference that I will. In the mean-time I self monitor to make sure that I do not participate in stuff at work which can be unpleasant for others (no gossiping, no eye rolling, no jokes at others expense, no deep sighing in meetings when someone I do not like is speaking). I don't tell others that I avoid this (no one wants to feel preached at). This did mean that I had to look very carefully at how I handled things professionally (like managing conflict). What eventually separates people of equal nursing skill and qualifications are the things they do not teach at school -- for me, no one taught me how deal deal with the %&@* hitting the fan. Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way because I am not some shy and retiring person.
Again, I am so sorry for your experience. It will get better and you will get better. Don't let these people suck you in any more -- they are not worth your time.
When you feel the way you do it seems like it will never go away and you will never feel better. That is NOT the case. You will feel better nothing lasts forever including that overwhelming grief, anger and frustration at having been treated like crap.
I am so very sorry for your experience and have had similar myself. Once when I was in my early 20's and another one recently. What I have to say my not be what you want to hear but it is as a result of my experiences...
For four years I was somewhere that I loved to work, thought I was doing a great job, got promoted was referred to as someone with great leadership skills blah blah blah. My story is complicated and long as well so I won't bore everyone. I had a rather small conflict with someone senior, who I actually had always really liked, and it blew up into some crazy stuff. They asked me to leave and I was devastated. This had never happened to me before.
Most important is you must look after yourself in this situation and although it may feel like taking these people to court will "help" you, it is not necessarily the case. The simple fact is that the cultures and subcultures of places where this stuff happens do not lend themselves to what they perceive as an attack. Also, as I am sure you know, it is a small world and you want to be able to move around and work in it without fear that your good name (or what is left of it) has been called into question. Usually, when a lawsuit is in the air, the company targeted gets defensive and just starts making stuff up or taking perfectly innocent actions and paint them with dreadful motives. In your delicate frame of mind this will not be good for you.
It does not sound to me like you have the emotional bandwidth at present for a lawsuit -- and that is OK. You do not always have to fight the good fight.
The extremely sad fact of these situation is that right now you are paying what sounds like a bloody awful price for some nasty and probably highly unfair behaviour. The other sad fact is that there is highly unfair behaviour is many places. Frankly, I hate to say all of that because injustice and bad behaviour makes me bonkers when it happens to others and has been devastating when it has happened to me.
Right now you should sick with people who love and support you -- family, friends, church or whatever. If you have friends at that place you may wish to NOT speak to them for a while. This will prevent you from wanting to ask for information about the perpetrators etc. and hence, putting your friends in a difficult position (of course you should tell them you are just cooling off). Get out and about! Do your best to NOT sit and stew on this alone in your head. These people DO NOT deserve to take up space in your head so do not let them.
All the hurt and anger that you feel now is probably justified but I bloody bet that the people who perpetrated this stuff are not giving this very much thought -- because people like that do not really care nor will they even if there is a lawsuit. In order to behave as badly as they did they will have justified it somehow in their own minds.
I have vowed to myself, after my experiences, that when I am in a position to make a difference that I will. In the mean-time I self monitor to make sure that I do not participate in stuff at work which can be unpleasant for others (no gossiping, no eye rolling, no jokes at others expense, no deep sighing in meetings when someone I do not like is speaking). I don't tell others that I avoid this (no one wants to feel preached at). This did mean that I had to look very carefully at how I handled things professionally (like managing conflict). What eventually separates people of equal nursing skill and qualifications are the things they do not teach at school -- for me, no one taught me how deal deal with the %&@* hitting the fan. Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way because I am not some shy and retiring person.
Again, I am so sorry for your experience. It will get better and you will get better. Don't let these people suck you in any more -- they are not worth your time.
You can see an attorney and try to take legal action, but it would probably not do you any good. If this was an ongoing situation with management, you can be sure there is documentation and supporting evidence to prove management's side of the issues. Unless you have kept your own documentation and have coworkers who are willing to support you, there is not much you can do.
I feel if you were "darn good at it", you did not deserve your 'write-up', and something more 'nefarious' happened.
In your spare time, research 'bully in the workplace' on google or other search engine...you will learn so much about what happened to you and you can empower yourself about what you want to do about it.....many, many people around the world have been through what you are going through...Learn about it....maybe you'll make a difference in our 'workplace' lives someday...I hope so...good luck...
I am going through the same thing you are now. They were able to do a constructive discharge with one of my co-workers and it worked because she quit, but it nearly destroyed her. When they tried it with me I fought them so they fabricated some excuses to have me fired. My attorney served them with our demands last week concerning a lawsuit for unlawful discharge. I am suing them based on age and gender discrimination. (I'm a 45 y/o male.) If you are over 40 y/o you are in a protected category and as a male in a female dominated profession, you are also in a protected category. I was replaced by two 26 year old female nurses with less experience than me combined. The excuses they used are also patently false. Also we are showing that by refusing my requests for transfer and to resign in lieu of discharge, they showed malice and vindictiveness. The excuses they used also indicated I was singled out for differential treatment. The brand new manager who fired me was much younger than me also. To make a long story short, I think I have a pretty good case, but we will probably reach a settlement for the sake of expediancy and cost. Were you treated differently with regard to younger, female co-workers? I dont know what the details of your situation are, but I wanted to let you know that there may be some hope. If it has hurt you as much as you say, you really should see an attorney. Unfortunately, being A-holes is not illegal and they dont need reasons to let you go. However, making your work environment so hostile that you have no choice but to quit, I believe, is illegal. I would be happy to answer any questions you may have about my situation. I'll let you know how my case works out.
You will find a better job... Believe me I have been a nurse for over 25 yrs . and have seen everything... poor management, heavy management, unfair treatment , favortism, nurse abuse is very real, unsafe staffing is very real..
Life is a gift dont let anyone take yor presents way . hold your head up high ,be strong ... there are alot of people in your shoes...God is with you .
You have gotten some great advice here, Wilbur. We all have our scars and our stories...I'm sending you a big hug and hoping you will continue to post. We all care about you! :flwrhrts:
gonzo1, ASN, RN
1,739 Posts
When I was working as a PTA in a nursing home about 8 years ago I reported 3 techs for verbally and physically abusing a patient. Then management told the techs I was the one that reported them.
The techs came into the PT gym and backed me into a wall and threatened me. My fellow workers were so scared and schocked that they hid behind a door and just watched.
I reported this behavior to management and the techs were suspended for a day without pay. I think the cops should have been called. But I was naive and inexperienced at that time. I would not tolerate such behavior now.
Needless to say I was the one most punished because I had to quit the job because it wasn't safe for me to go back there anymore to work.
No good deed goes unpunished as they say.
So yeah, this kind of crap happens all the time.