New grad RNs: Do you hate nursing already?

[OliveRN]

I switched from my previous career to pursue nursing and now I'm beginning to wonder if I had made the right choice. I've always had an interest in health, the medical field and I love helping people so I thought nursing would be a perfect "relatively quick" switch to a new profession. I was 26 at the time and I knew I eventually wanted to start a family.

But boy, I didn't realize those past 3 years of nursing school would entail compromising my emotional and mental health. It was the bane of my existence. I was so depressed, sometimes suicidal and my boyfriend made me seek therapy. It didn't help to talk about my feelings. In fact, I think bringing attention to it made it worse. My coping mechanisms have always been to ignore issues, compartmentalize and major denial. It's helped me manage through my past.

So finally, I'm a new grad day shift RN working on a cardiac progressive care unit. It's been almost 6 months and I'm beginning to really dread going to work. I didn't want to do med-surg because I wanted a challenge and now I'm beginning to regret it. At work, I'm so overwhelmed and I have so much to do that I never take breaks and I eat really late lunches. And even then, I get interrupted during lunch. Sometimes I feel that people who are not nurses don't understand how physically draining it can be and mentally draining to deal with egotistical medical professionals. The culture of the hospital doesn't allow for low self esteem and perfectionist individuals such as myself.

I feel myself burning out quickly. I worry about my emotional health because I'm beginning to feel the same way I've felt in nursing school. I'm starting to use food to comfort myself, I walk around with an empty feeling inside and sometimes when I'm pulling meds for my patients, I've considered taking some to numb myself. Now it's spilling into my non work days. I don't have the energy nor inclination to do anything.

I'm torn between wanting to quit to avoid spiraling down the depression path again versus not wanting to quit so that I don't look like a quitter to my family and friends. But I am one of the lucky ones whose significant other makes enough to support the both of us but I do not want to be a housewife. I've worked so hard to get where I am today, I worry that our financial security may not always be there and we're planning to have a baby soon.

I feel so alone and empty inside. I moved to Florida to be with my husband and I have not had time to make friends here. I feel so naïve and wish someone had told me that nursing is tough. Had I known what bedside nursing would entail, I may not have pursued this avenue. I wanted to reach out to fellow nurses and get your take of your first year and any advice that you may have for me. Do all nurses in their first year feel this way? What are some ways that I can cope in a healthy way?

Thanks for listening.

[itsmejuli]

If I were in your shoes the first thing I'd do is find a competent therapist. I think you have more issues to deal with than your first year of nursing.

Good luck to you.

[labrador4122, RN]

Besides any personal issues...

The first year of nursing is the most challenging, that is where you are learning time management, and learning from mistakes, as we RN's have tons of responsablity and for everything legally we are on the "chopping block" as one RN on my floor has told me when I asked that we should be helped more.

I'm not in my first year anymore, but I have learned lots of things, and how people are, and learned to shut my mouth with people....

I am only a night shift RN, and have done day shift before as an extra shift, and I know night shift is difficult, but it is less crazy and less hectic than day shift.

maybe you could try to do a night shift, and get your time management right, and also you could possibly have time to socialize with other co-workers, and maybe you could find a trusted co-worker that you have things in common with and maybe go out... I'm just sayin' to get some steam off and things off your chest, something that we can't talk about with the hubby.

just the best of luck to you!

[LeavingTeaching4RN]

I could have written your post. I am having a very difficult time with my new career in nursing. I became so depressed. My unhappiness with my career choice was taking over my life. I think about work all the time. One Monday, I was scheduled off from work. However, I sobbed the entire day because I knew I had to go to work on Thursday. Eventually, I decided to call EAP, who connected me with a therapist who is great with work related stress and who has a lot of clients who are nurses.

Although, I am still in agonizing hell, the sessions with her have helped me to deal with it and manage my emotions and regret.

[anurseatlast]

The great thing about being a nurse is that there are so many different types of jobs you can do. If you are overwhelmed at the hospital, look into other types of nursing jobs. Maybe you would enjoy a less hectic job that still uses your nursing skills. I knew in nursing school that I did not want to work in a hospital (partially for physical reasons) and I have not. I worked in a peds clinic and now do community and public health. I work in a teen parent program and I love it. I set my own visits with my patients so I have a lot of flexibility. I do a lot of education, not only to the teen mom but also to family members.

There are many other types of jobs - look into the possibilities.

I also would encourage you to continue counseling to help you with your depression and stress. Right now, you don't know if it really is nursing that you find overwhelming or other issues. If you are not making progress with the counselor you are seeing now, find a new one. Life is too short to spend your time being miserable.

[Pinkster]

The great thing about being a nurse is that there are so many different types of jobs you can do. If you are overwhelmed at the hospital, look into other types of nursing jobs. Maybe you would enjoy a less hectic job that still uses your nursing skills. I knew in nursing school that I did not want to work in a hospital (partially for physical reasons) and I have not. I worked in a peds clinic and now do community and public health. I work in a teen parent program and I love it. I set my own visits with my patients so I have a lot of flexibility. I do a lot of education, not only to the teen mom but also to family members.

There are many other types of jobs - look into the possibilities.

I also would encourage you to continue counseling to help you with your depression and stress. Right now, you don't know if it really is nursing that you find overwhelming or other issues. If you are not making progress with the counselor you are seeing now, find a new one. Life is too short to spend your time being miserable.

Wow your job sounds like my dream job!

I want to work with teen parents as a FNP, but am a new ASN graduate, so If i could specialize with them now it would be such a blessing ( I was a teen mother myself). Do you work through a company/agency if so could you PM me the information, I have been searching for areas in public and community health but all want experience. Any details you could give would be so helpful, thank you!

[misswhitney]

My advice is to do med-surg. Med-Surg is a challenge. I think everyone should start out there. You should finish out your year (or even try to pursue another job now) and either do med-surg so you can get a strong foundation or maybe get into the position you want to be in. I work in med-surg and I did not want to work in it at all. But now that I am I understand a lot more about body systems and how they affect each other as a whole and am very grateful I did not listen to my stubborn side.

It also could be the environment you are in or the hospital you are in. You could have very difficult patients and may need help with managing them. Consult your nurse manager or a fellow RN, that is what they are there for. But it does sound like you need more help than just a new nurse working through their first year. I would talk to someone about how you are feeling and consult with other nurses on your floor on how to better manage your time.

[Galore]

I'm no longer a new grad, have now been working in my unit for almost 2 years, but it's definitely been a tough process switching to nursing (I also worked in another field first). I went through a really rought time too. The first thing I did just to get things in perspective was I went to a counselor through my company's EAP (so it was free). It helped me stop taking things so personally and taught me how to leave work at work. We also went over some simple strategies to cope during those busy shifts when you want to just find a corner to cry in because you're so overloaded. Finding good stress relievers and taking care of your health is also important - I don't think most people realize how draining emotionally and physically this job can be.

I think it also just takes time to feel competent and comfortable in your new nursing career. I could have written a similar post when I first started out, but I am so much happier with my job now. I'm in the same unit I started out in with the same management and coworkers - the only thing that has changed is my perspective and coping strategies.

[MauraRN]

Find an effective therapist.

Get off of the day shift and onto nights-not 3-11.

Nights have a little more time for you to absorb info on the pt, not just run around like a chicken without a head.

With the hourly differential on night shift, you may be able to drop one shift per week and not feel the effects in you paycheck.

If after one year you still hate it, start actively looking for something that you would like; home health, clinic, sub-acute care. It is your life, leave the hospital crap at the hospital.

[OliveRN]

I want to thank you all for your postings. It's comforting to know that there are other nurses out there that can relate.

I will stick it out for a year and see where that will takes me. I have considered going to EAP but I'm not sure how much of a help that would be.

But thank you all for listening =)

[LeavingTeaching4RN]

I want to thank you all for your postings. It's comforting to know that there are other nurses out there that can relate.

I will stick it out for a year and see where that will takes me. I have considered going to EAP but I'm not sure how much of a help that would be.

But thank you all for listening =)

Please try EAP. Speaking with a therapist can only help. If you aren't happy with the first person you speak with, try someone else. You don't have to struggle alone. Also, it makes me feel better when I use my employee benefits. As hard as you work, make them pay for something.

[cosmicsun]

Your happiness should be number one, along with your health. Your husband makes enough. You can go into another career. I don't have to tell you what it is like - you already know. There are nurses 10 years in who feel the same way you do. You can apply your schooling to something else. Once you start getting written up and make a mistake - where do you think your financial security will be then. I hate to tell you this, but some of your coworkers are enjoying how unhappy you are... There aren't a lot of jobs out there, and if someone can't hold it together, they think it makes them look more valuable to the company. It doesn't seem like a match, and it's not worth the fight to prove anything.

You look at the meds and think about taking them to numb yourself; you walk around feeling empty. Get out, get out, get out. Do not take any drugs. Don't do it. They are not yours to take, you will end up with a criminal record, and it's not healthy that you even feel that way.

If you were my daughter, I would tell you honestly to get out and have a happy life. You live in Florida, aren't they building a new biofuels plant down there in Highlands? I don't know if that is anywhere near you, but clean energy is an idea. There are other options. Try a doctor's office?

The hospitals are something else. Does it get easier? I guess so, but not because anything changed. You learn how to become a robot. You put your feelings aside on how you would want to be treated, you learn when to keep your mouth shut (which is always), you learn to adapt to the "culture", which so so sweet and friendly.

Good luck.