I'm an experienced RN and was fired from a new nursing job. It was not due to any misconduct or patient care issues. I was shocked when it happened. The way it went down was upsetting. Later I started thinking about things and realized it wasn't justified. I think some of my former co-workers set the wheels in motion and this is the end result. The issue at hand was greatly exaggerated and not told in context. I was never spoken to about this issue nor asked for my side of things. I was so upset that I just accepted the news and walked out; didn't even try to argue or defend myself.
I'm so hurt by this entire experience. I'm hurt that fellow RN's would take steps that affected my ability to earn a living and my professional life. I'm so disappointed in my supervisor for not defending me to my manager. I'm so disappointed in how my manager made untrue statements that I wasn't given the chance to defend. I don't understand why I wasn't given the chance to transfer elsewhere in the organization. The unfairness of how I was treated is hard to swallow. It's hard not to take personally. I realized that nursing is rife with unfairness but I think I'm naive in that I expect things like this handled in a professional and respectful way and it wasn't.
Needless to say my confidence is non-existent. I have no idea how I'm going to put myself out there and find a new job feeling like this.
if it's stupid, I immediately fire off an email to the manager,my lawyer, my dad's firm, HR and management re the chat and how I expect further communications to proceed in a professional fashion. This immediately puts them on notice how the situation will play out
Umm....The hospital also has a lawyer...one who specializes in employee-employer law, probably a firm that will tell you how the situation will play out.
Umm....The hospital also has a lawyer...one who specializes in employee-employer law, probably a firm that will tell you how the situation will play out.
Please don't talk about stuff you know nothing about!
That is exactly the scenario you hope for! No one wants to go to court and incur the costs, plus the resulting findings through discovery, especially for a little old nurse!
Do you have any idea how many subpoenas and whom, especially when a deposition is enabled and the conditions of a deposition?
The law works for everyone especially when perjury is in play!
Why do you think hospitals want you to sign arbitration clauses? Which if you like a fight like myself, brings so many other people and situations into the equation ??. You see even in arbitration, with a biased arbi(traitor) got it?, you have to provide EVIDENCE, which works against corporate regulations! My father is a corporate lawyer and he hands them their asses on a plate every time! Why do you think rich people get away with murder? Because of their lawyers!
Arbitration is because regular people can't afford good lawyers and again no offense, but they haven't got the fighting spirit for the right kind of fight. They are good people who always try to do the right thing against an opponent who is as nasty as possible. They have no problems firing you without cause or stealing you blind! You don't apply football rules if you are playing tennis!
Specializes in ICU, hospice, MS/tele, ED, corrections.
6 hours ago, Susie2310 said:
I don't find this behavior difficult to understand. Many people are vulnerable. There are a number of reasons for this: immaturity, inexperience, a family background that precluded learning that one has the right to stand up for oneself in the workplace (or to stand up for oneself at all) and how to do this effectively, a lack of knowledge of how to communicate effectively in the workplace, a lack of confidence, a prior history of abuse, etc. It's easy to describe what to do; it's much harder to do it when these conditions apply.
I agree. Not all nurses come from the same background. Many do come from backgrounds of abuse/trauma, and some nurses are aware of their own issues that they have as a result, and they deal with these issues head-on, while some nurses are not self-aware and so these issues fester and they can interact with co-workers in a problematic way. Some nurses here have talked about their strong family units, and that is awesome, but not everyone has had that privilege. It seems like no matter where we come from, making the choice to either lift each other up or stand by as others are torn down or worse yet be the one tearing others down is just that, a choice. When I see a nurse who is questioning herself, who seems to have low self-esteem, my first instinct is to be supportive. I don't coddle them but I express my support. So, I don't totally buy it that such nurses invite mistreatment. To me is echoes the argument that says a woman who wears a short skirt and revealing top is asking to be sexually assaulted. We need to stop blaming the victim. Yes, predators prey on the vulnerable, but does this mean it is the vulnerable person's fault? If we want our nurses with lower self-esteem, etc, to be stronger and more confident, is telling them they just need to "rise above it" going to help? Maybe, but it goes deeper than that; as well, if bullies are not held accountable, does it not undermine such efforts?
I had two careers (over a period of 23+ years) prior to becoming a nurse, and I always worked in crazy busy environments with people from all walks of life. I worked with people that perhaps didn't all like each other but we got the work done. I have to say that in nursing it has been a new experience for me to have bullying and cliques be the norm, and for bullies and cliques to have so much power. Someone either on this thread or another was talking about lateral oppression, and I do think this is a huge factor that contributes to bullying in nursing.
I have stood up for others who have been bullied; I have been bullied then ended up becoming friends with the bully, actually more than once; I have maintained equinimity like a pro in the face of some pretty crummy behavior; I have hid in the bathroom crying; I have been reactive and led by the nose by my emotions. I have worked hard, for a long time, on my own personal development ie examining myself, my part in things, and changing what I can ie my own behavior and responses, and I have become better and better at letting the poor behavior of others roll off my shoulders. I am probably very fortunate that this is the first time that the bullying of others has resulted in me losing my job. The way the communication worked on this unit was, preceptors would talk to the Unit Director, without you knowing that they did, yet no one would come to you and get your side of the story.
I remember one day my preceptor was standing behind me as I was working on my charting, and she seemed exasperated because she thought I was charting a certain way that she did not think was the best way. The only thing, is she misinterpreted what she saw me doing, but instead of asking me about it, she just started telling me where to move the mouse and it kind of threw me off of my train of thought. Also, I just felt super uncomfortable with her standing over me and literally telling me how to move the mouse. I was having trouble following her directions in that moment, and I said to her "It's hard for me to do this with you standing over me" or something like that. I think that moment was a nail in my coffin, as she came to me a few minutes later, and in front of everyone said in a very strong tone, "that was really weird," referring to what I had said to her.
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Being able to float above the drama and stupidity at all times is a great idea, but is just not something that a large number of people will be able to do.
In my 13 weeks at this job, I remained consistently equinamous, except perhaps in the example I gave above. Equinamity is something that I feel is an inherent part of my personality, *except* when being bullied, and I am aware of this and have worked hard on this, to where I am often the one trying to calm others who are in an emotionally charged/reactive place. Nurses are human, and to me it seems much more mature and better for the overall morale of the unit for nurses to try to work through uncomfortable interactions. In my case, the Unit Director did not come to me once to ask me what my side of things was. I think this is a disservice to the unit, as, it just reinforces a culture of disjointed communication and mistrust. I remember a few times where I knew that a preceptor had thought I did or did not do something or catch something, and they were, in fact, mistaken, but there was not an opportunity to talk about it; instead, I presume, they just talked to other members of their clique and/or the Director. So even if I were equinaminous 100% of the time I think I was pretty much screwed.
Specializes in ICU, hospice, MS/tele, ED, corrections.
7 hours ago, JKL33 said:
I don't know. That's another benefit to my advice; I don't have to figure any of it out and can focus on taking care of patients and being kind and professional.
Indeed; at the end of the day, I only have control over myself and knowing that I consistently treated others with kindness, was professional, and provided excellent patient care are what is most important to me.
That having an open mind leaves you better equipped to handle new information and actually deal with an ever challenging world.
I should know because I have no tolerance for stupid, inconsiderate, ungrateful people because they scare me and I'm pretty sure that I miss out on some learning opportunities by not being around them.
That having an open mind leaves you better equipped to handle new information and actually deal with an ever challenging world.
I should know because I have no tolerance for stupid, inconsiderate, ungrateful people because they scare me and I'm pretty sure that I miss out on some learning opportunities by not being around them.
So, when you wrote this post ...
On 8/2/2021 at 1:16 AM, Curious1997 said:
'The purpose of an education is to open closed minds'
I suggest you, Chare and Klone explore those avenues!
... you assumed we weren't able to do this? As you wrote in another post in this thread, please don't talk about stuff you know nothing about!
21 hours ago, Curious1997 said:
Completely understand what you are saying. However, I don't think that I made a sweeping generalization and I do think it is constructive to be tough emotionally. ...
[...}
This might not be your intent, and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, for now. However, and I don't say this to be confrontational, you might consider reviewing some of your posts, as some definitely come across as sweeping generalizations.
... you assumed we weren't able to do this? As you wrote in another post in this thread, please don't talk about stuff you know nothing about!
This might not be your intent, and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, for now. However, and I don't say this to be confrontational, you might consider reviewing some of your posts, as some definitely come across as sweeping generalizations.
Touche', it has been brought to my attention before, that I shouldn't have an opinion, unless I have actually spoken to everyone, so I don't generalize and be inclusive.
Did I ever mention before that my parents are Brits and it leaves me imbued with the superpowers of wit and sarcasm? It's among my many horrible traits.
Yes, you talk frequently about how worldly you are and how, at the ripe age of 29, you’ve got it all figured out because your family is European.
I've got squat figured out. Like everyone else I put my head down, work hard and hope for the best. I listen to my parents because of their experience and stay away from bad people!
I don't know about you, but my generation has to worry constantly about everything the older generation has destroyed. Climate, ecosystems, water, oceans, very likely our social security, etc etc. They have depleted every resource and raped every thing good because of their greed and in consideration. People like Zuckerberg and Murdoch have built systems to separate us and elevate hate and discord. Republicans worship lies and deceit and gas light us which the middle and older age people just lap up!
Our future is bleak for us and our kids, while they will die and expect us to celebrate their existence!
londonflo
3,002 Posts
Umm....The hospital also has a lawyer...one who specializes in employee-employer law, probably a firm that will tell you how the situation will play out.