Feeling like I made the wrong decision by getting into nursing

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Hi all, I am finishing my first semester of an accelerated BSN program and am feeling pretty down about my decision to get into nursing. I am looking to see if anyone else is feeling the same way, or if there are any nurses out there who felt this way but held on. I am currently at the top of my class but I go home feeling terrible about myself every day. I just finished my first clinical rotation and received a top notch evaluation from my instructor, but I still feel like I am not good enough. Working in the hospital makes me feel depressed because I do not agree with the way a lot of things are done in health care. I also feel like so much of nursing/healthcare involves keeping people alive who are so sick and have no quality of life for the sake of a profit. A select few of my professors are great and promote a positive learning environment, but a lot of them have huge egos and make me feel terrible for being intelligent, almost as if they are threatened by me. For the first time in my life I feel bad for being smart. I miss hard science and being in a laboratory setting, so I have been considering transferring into a clinical lab science program since I already have a degree in biology/chemistry and have taken almost all of the required courses, but people online seem to think that CLS is also a terrible job. Is anyone feeling the same way, or are there any current nurses who once felt this way? How did you get through it? Do you think that continuing on was worth it?

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Can you talk to some people who work in a lab setting irl instead of online? Is it possible to shadow one of them to see if you would like lab work? Its a big deal to drop out of an absn program, so you want to have some idea of where you will end up.

You like hard science, so maybe the lab is for you. I think those things you have observed in nursing are true, but they dont encompass the profession as a whole. If you focus on those things, you would be miserable in nursing, and perhaps any field in healthcare.

I saw certain things in nursing school that shocked me, and im no young buck. But I finished because i wanted the flexibility/pay for my family, plus I certainly wasn't throwing away the money and time I had already spent. I say now that its worth it because I can tolerate what I do currently .

Tough decision for you either way, but it sounds as if youre leaning towards the lab.

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I can relate to your having difficulty with seeing people kept alive despite having conditions that don't seem consistent with quality of life. The way I cope with that is to advocate for my residents as much as I can (report SOB, pain, agitation and so on immediately so meds can be given or ordered), take excellent care of them and try to keep them as comfortable as possible, and remember that when I get the education and experience, I'll be able to work in hospice where they focus is on helping people die well rather than keeping them alive.

I hope you end up doing something you'll be happy with.

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Specializes in Neuro.

I'm betting many people and many a nurse (who like their job) feel the healthcare system is broken or at least could use vast improvements. You are not alone there. Politics and money always get involved....and don't forget the family members of 94 year old granny vented in the ICU who wants "everything done" to keep granny alive. Part of the problem we can argue is our culture as well.

Nursing may not be for you, figure that out, someone suggested shadowing other lab/job positions. Do it sooner rather than later. If you're smart you're smart, who cares, do well and be humble wherever you go. Instructors are people too so of course can have the flaws any of us can have, but, my personal experience at least is most are trying to mentally prepare you for what the world of healthcare, or world at large can and will be like. You often will be in a room full of people where you may not be the smartest person or maybe you are, but, tell that to the doctor you are working with or the patient who clearly knows everything better than you since you know, "you're just a nurse". Evaluate what it is you are not enjoying, is it the type of teaching or is it the actual nursing aspect of it? Go from there. Life's short if you aren't happy, go do something that will make you happy.

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Out of curiosity, why did you come back to school for a BSN even though you have a degree in Chemistry/Biology already?

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Hi there. I am a second (third?)-career NP and I can identify with what you are going through. I thought you might like to hear what I have to say, since you asked for some advice.

On 7/31/2019 at 5:12 PM, Rickettsia_typhi said:

I still feel like I am not good enough. Working in the hospital makes me feel depressed because I do not agree with the way a lot of things are done in health care. I also feel like so much of nursing/healthcare involves keeping people alive who are so sick and have no quality of life for the sake of a profit.

Re feeling like you're not "good enough," I can go on about that but I won't. It is something that you will have to work on within yourself because as cliché and overstated as they may be, the sayings, "You must learn to love yourself first" and "You must know that you are good enough" are true.

Working in the hospital is depressing; I hated every minute of my time working in the hospital but looking back in hindsight, because I was on the frontlines I learned a lot. You're correct that modern medicine is all about keeping people alive for profit but that doesn't mean you, I, or anyone else has to buy into that system. I am very passionate about palliative care, which is all about quality of life, not keeping people alive for the sake of a profit, and knew from the get-go that that was what I would be working in.

On 7/31/2019 at 5:12 PM, Rickettsia_typhi said:

A select few of my professors are great and promote a positive learning environment, but a lot of them have huge egos and make me feel terrible for being intelligent, almost as if they are threatened by me. For the first time in my life I feel bad for being smart.

To me it sounds like your professors have their own personal struggles with self-worth/self-value. I don't know what their stories are but I imagine if they were more comfortable with themselves, they wouldn't go out of their way to make you feel bad. In light of that, I would suggest not making their egos your responsibility, and remember that you needn't feel bad for being smart. I don't know if this will make you feel better, but something I learned from a physician is: "Anyone can be intelligent but not everyone can be kind." This is not only good provider knowledge but also good human knowledge. It sounds like you and your professors are all intelligent, but if you are kind, then you have one leg up on your professors.

On 7/31/2019 at 5:12 PM, Rickettsia_typhi said:

but people online seem to think that CLS is also a terrible job.

I'm assuming you took probability and statistics and understand that "people online" are just a small fraction of all the people out there that may have an opinion about being a CLS. They're not not living your life; you are living your life. Life is short; do what will make you happy.

On 7/31/2019 at 5:12 PM, Rickettsia_typhi said:

How did you get through it? Do you think that continuing on was worth it?

I got through my education and my acute care hospital days by keeping my sights on my desired destination and reminding myself the reasons why I decided to change my career to nursing in the first place. Now that I'm an NP, I do think that continuing on was worth it.

I want to acknowledge you for finishing your first semester of an accelerated BSN program--it's whirlwind mass of information that the program tries to squeeze into your brain in a short amount of time. It makes sense that you are feeling doubtful, and I imagine you are often overly stressed and underslept. I don't know you but I am sending you good vibes out here in AN world ?

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Specializes in Dialysis.

keeping a patient alive isn't generally decided by the provider, it's the family or any legal documents that they patient has previously filled out. Because of satisfaction scores, generally many people are not in a position to discuss the real end of life issues with patients and their families; this would be MDs and Social Workers. It's a bad position to be in as a nurse, we should be able to have these discussions to help our patients make the best decisions possible.

I think the advice to talk to someone who actually works in a lab before you toss nursing out was excellent. It pays to research your career choice thoroughly. Remember, the grass isn't always greener, and every career has its drawbacks and benefits. Good luck on your decision

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Here are a few questions that I would ask myself:

Do you enjoy interacting with people who are going through some really difficult times? Does just being there with them make you feel fulfilled?

Are you able to deal with a lot of blood, many other types of body fluids, and extreme emotional distress while remaining calm, focused, and supportive?

If you can answer yes to both of these questions, then you are good enough.

Healthcare is changing. Alternative treatments are becoming more popular. Hospitals are starting to focus on good nutrition, meditation, and improved quality of life as ways of treating illnesses.

I too love hard science. ICU nurses use a lot of hard science in their jobs (titrating drips, evaluating heart rhythms, catching and treating small medical problems, before they become life-threatening medical problems). CRNAs especially, need to do well in hard science classes to get their degree.

Is nursing a good career choice for you? Only you can answer that question. As much as I love biology, chemistry, and even physics, I have never regretted my choice to be a nurse.

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