Feeling left out.....VENT!

NGeorgia · Feb 2, 2010

I had lots of friends in my upper level classes, but now I am going back and doing a few lower levels for my BSN and most of the people are right out of highschool and stick together. I am only 24 and have been shunned my all the "youngsters" :)

Dump the POS and give it a little more time, I'm sure you will find someone to hang around with

meluhn · Feb 2, 2010

I felt like this alot in NS. I did have a few casual friends that I talked to but it really seemed like people in the cliques were alot closer to each other than I was to any of them. I'm not sure why, other than to say that I was just really focused on school and not into all the drama, pettiness and bs that they sometimes wanted to engage in. Not to say that I am above it all, I just didn't really care about what they were bit(*ing and/or gossiping about most of the time. I didn't like to study with any of them because it just turned into a big waste of time and between family and work, I just didn't have much time for anyone anyway. (I barely talked to my own husband) I came away from my ADN program with no lasting friendships.

I have heard other people say they were loners in NS. I dont think it is a reflection on you, just the way those particular personalities mix. Hang in there and see if you can find another person outside of a clique that you can connect with and maybe study with. Try to find someone at the same level as you academically, otherwise they will bring you down or vice versa. Good luck.

SaraFL · Feb 2, 2010

I feel for you, because I worry that I might be the same way. I am friendly, and get along with all kinds of people, but I'm a little shy and am not one to gossip/talk BS a lot. Maybe try to approach a few people one-on-one and see if you can strike up a friendship like that? You could start simple by offering people around you a piece of gum, if someone needs an extra pen/pencil, have one in your bag, etc.

kcochrane · Feb 2, 2010

In LPN school I got close to my clinical group and few others. I wasn't into study groups and that is where alot of the people got close.

In RN school I joined later as a LPN so it took awhile to get to know everyone. As we rotated in different clinical groups, I was able to get to know people better.

I think when you get into smaller clinical groups, you will get closer to people.

MissCharlieRN · Feb 2, 2010

When I first started nursing school, I just moved 400 miles from home and was just a depressed wreck. I didn't really talk to anyone in lecture at first, but during the clinical rotations, I found making friends was way easier when we all worked together. I would always ask if anyone needed help (and being in 101, pretty much everyone did) and we would all be there helping each other out. We would also all work on our homework together, each person helping another with their careplan, etc. It was new to all of us, so working together to help each other really formed some strong bonds. Then I sat close to those people in lecture, we started study groups, etc. Now we are graduating in May and for the most part my entire class is pretty tight knit. We pretty much have the same people in class every semester, so you really get to know people. Just keep an open mind and work together. Good luck :)

Conqueror+, BSN, RN · Feb 2, 2010

First off you're human and it's normal to want to be liked. My best advice is to remember why you are there. TO GRADUATE. Keep that first and just be yourself. Would you rather be a lonely nurse or a popular dropout ? You can have friends of course but don't give it too much priority. Especially when you are adjusting to NS. Hang in there. :)

thatsthekeyRNC · Feb 2, 2010

I'm feeling the same way right now, but I'm not in the nursing program at my school yet (applying now for next fall). I was given special permission to take one nursing class and EVERYONE knows each other..I just feel left out. It's really intimidating. I'm trying to give it more time, but we'll see! I think it's smart to try to find one person and then it's easier to meet more.

allnurses Guide · Feb 2, 2010

My grandmother's old adage still rings true: To have a friend, BE a friend.

Who are you offering to help? Who have you asked for help on something? Do you wave when you see your classmates? Make eye contact? Smile? Demonstrate that you are open to friendship? Most people gravitate toward others who make them feel wanted and secure; Can you put yourself out there to make others feel that way, so that they will then let their guard down and let you in?

The one thing nursing students have in common is the rigors of nursing school. Do you ask others about the assignments? What they thought of it? How they are coping with this brave new world?

I bet if you act confident, conversational, friendly and interested in others you will find they are friendly and interested in you too.

Just my .02

CBsMommy · Feb 2, 2010

I'm sort of like this in lab. I haven't really felt out all of the personalities and haven't decided who I like to work with. I do different activities with different people on different days to see who will be brutally honest when I screw up and the people who goof off (I would much rather have a partner tell me how it is because the clinical instructors aren't foolin' around)! Plus, I did most of my pre-reqs online or at a different school so a lot of the people have prior relationships and I don't know anyone from any pre-reqs, which is also hard. Just remember to keep your chin up and approach people you think you would like to work with. Compliment them on their clothes or hair as an opening. Or just simply ask to join in! Good luck! You will get there and it will be more comfortable!

alliphx · Feb 2, 2010

I understand you completely with this one. On orientation, I caught myself kind of sinking back into the shadows so I immediately caught this and turned to the girl standing next to me and asked her how long she had waited to get in. We ended up having a lot in common and we've been 'class-buddies' since. :)

ALSO! A good piece of advice that's helped me cope with meeting new people (especially in school settings..)

PLACATE ANOTHER MORE EXPERIENCED STUDENT'S EGO! :bow:Everyone loves having their ego stroked, and if you approach them in this manner you're sure to gain brownie points and get your foot in the door.

"Hey.. I noticed that you're like a master of BP! If you have a minute, would you mind practicing with me? I bet you could show me a good trick or two."

THIS WORKS! Most of the time, people are struggling with their own insecurities too (hence the cliques - they grab and latch... it's human). So when you come to them humbly and ask for their "expert advice" it flips the "I like you" switch and you can go from there. This is exactly how I made my second NS buddy. She's an OR tech and FULL of tips and tricks. As soon as I asked for her help, you should have seen her light up! She's been a wonderful asset too!

Try it out and let us all know how things go as the semester progresses. :)

Carrie_MTC · Feb 3, 2010

I became really close to the people I had clinical with. Try starting a study group and inviting people to join. You will make friends, in fact you will spend so much time with these people by graduation you will be wanting a break from them! lol