Feeling Extremely Lost And Angry About Graduating

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I'm graduating from a BSN program tomorrow and didn't like my experience in the program from the start, but it didn't stop me from completing the program, probably for the fact that I didn't know where else I'd go. I just became emotional because I looked at my school's face page and saw a post about a Hispanic student at my school being recognized as an outstanding graduate and it made me upset. The reason is that I've never been recognized/acknowledged for anything during my studies at the program except for being clinically unsafe, being two-faced, having personal issues, being unsettling, not being fluent in Arabic language, and having old, Arab parents who immigrated from Iran when they were teenagers (those are all things I've been told or recognized for by the faculty at my college). I'm also bitter because a lot of students in my graduating class are already applying for jobs and I don't want to do that since I haven't even passed NCLEX and I am probably not smart enough to pass the first time. Even if I pass NCLEX, I feel like no one would like me or want to give me a job. Thanks for reading and please leave helpful advice. 

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I forgot to mention that a nursing professor said that my parents are old and know what being old is like before saying that I'm Arab. I'm angry that I got recognized because of the age and nationality of my parents and this other student gets recognized for something to actually be proud of. I have accomplished so much throughout my life and the focus is always on my parents who don't even go to my school. 

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Specializes in psych/medical-surgical.

Been in nursing 11 years now, passed NCLEX in 09. The NCLEX is mostly about basic judgement/reasoning to make sure you can think critically and reason. If you did well in school (usually you have predictor tests), you will likely pass. It is customary to apply for jobs assuming you will pass boards.

Please don't be discouraged by a few people or one location. Nursing is a very diverse field. There are so many specialties and places to work. There will always be demand for RNs. NYC was offering bonuses for RNs to come work there for the pandemic. You can also join the PHS or other uniformed service. You can go private practice. You can work for the VA. Most nurses will have some sort of bad experience. One of my first preceptors was a very toxic young Asian woman that hated me from the get go. I also was discriminated against as a male nurse while I was active duty (and I'm white). Thankfully I survived it, license intact and am now graduating a DNP program. Most of my cohort was not white by the way. Several black students and a couple with mid-east background.

Sounds like you would do good to talk to someone about these issues. No shame in having a psychotherapist. Your views seem very negative and biased. That really helped me when I was having my issues while active duty. Don't take not being recognized as a personal attack. As you get older, I hope you will realize that life is about internal processes, what  you choose to do with your lemons, instead of external adversity. Most people will face adversity at some point.

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14 hours ago, DrCOVID said:

Been in nursing 11 years now, passed NCLEX in 09. The NCLEX is mostly about basic judgement/reasoning to make sure you can think critically and reason. If you did well in school (usually you have predictor tests), you will likely pass. It is customary to apply for jobs assuming you will pass boards.

Please don't be discouraged by a few people or one location. Nursing is a very diverse field. There are so many specialties and places to work. There will always be demand for RNs. NYC was offering bonuses for RNs to come work there for the pandemic. You can also join the PHS or other uniformed service. You can go private practice. You can work for the VA. Most nurses will have some sort of bad experience. One of my first preceptors was a very toxic young Asian woman that hated me from the get go. I also was discriminated against as a male nurse while I was active duty (and I'm white). Thankfully I survived it, license intact and am now graduating a DNP program. Most of my cohort was not white by the way. Several black students and a couple with mid-east background.

Sounds like you would do good to talk to someone about these issues. No shame in having a psychotherapist. Your views seem very negative and biased. That really helped me when I was having my issues while active duty. Don't take not being recognized as a personal attack. As you get older, I hope you will realize that life is about internal processes, what  you choose to do with your lemons, instead of external adversity. Most people will face adversity at some point.

Thanks for taking the time to leave me this response and share your story. I thought an admin removed my post so I was surprised to see it still up. It was mainly for ranting purposes because I was upset on my graduation day after seeing how happy everyone else was as well as the other student I mentioned who had like a 4.0 GPA and a job lined up. I didn't have a good time in nursing school for the most part and I'm very scared of NCLEX because I saw a lot of people posting on here that they failed it several times. 

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Specializes in psych/medical-surgical.

What others are doing has little to do with you. Most of what we do is because of what is inside us, not others. Again, I recommend a good psychotherapist. They will give you insight to these issues you have with others and the field. I know because I once felt the same way you do! "Why am I not happy; why does it seem everyone else is?" The fact of the matter is there are a lot of people unhappy and depressed!

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Specializes in Sm Bus Mgmt, Operations, Planning, HR, Coaching.
On 12/11/2020 at 7:15 AM, chocolateocean said:

I haven't even passed NCLEX and I am probably not smart enough to pass the first time. Even if I pass NCLEX, I feel like no one would like me or want to give me a job. Thanks for reading and please leave helpful advice. 

@chocolateocean First congratulations on your BSN graduation!  Great accomplishment and you should be super proud of yourself.  I agree with @DrCOVID that talking to someone could really help you.  Seems you have self-limiting self talk that is trying to bring you down and take your power away.  That inner voice is lying to you.  You deserve this BSN and will pass the NCLEX..... you just need to put in the work and can not give up.  Do not focus on others, focus on you.  But ignore the negative inner voice.  Easy for me to say, I know, but talking to someone would help.  Good luck and keep us updated.

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Specializes in Community health.
On 12/16/2020 at 3:25 AM, chocolateocean said:

 I was upset on my graduation day after seeing how happy everyone else was

I just wanted to echo what others have said about getting some perspective via a professional to help you sort this out. This statement above waved a flag for me. “How happy everyone else was”— You do not know what other people are experiencing. If you’re looking at a crowd of people and thinking that because they’re smiling and hugging each other and snapping selfies, it means they are sailing smooth and not having any issues, then you are not seeing the world clearly. Most of your classmates are struggling with something like: anxiety, or depression, or with not feeling they “fit in,” with feeling insecure, with worrying that they may not succeed at their job, with worrying about their health, worrying about their loved ones, worrying that they made a mistake by going to nursing school instead of their other dreams, worrying that they aren’t  smart enough, worrying that they’re letting their parents down by choosing nursing, or by not being married yet, or.... I could go on. I think a counselor could help you sort through this idea that your life is terrible and everyone else’s is blessed. 

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Take a deep breath. Most of what’s frustrating and irritating you currently will be insignificant if not irrelevant in a year. 

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Specializes in Ortho, CMSRN.

I was a little sad at graduation when most of my small cohort had jobs but me and one other person. I certainly didn't begrudge them their happiness though. If you're going to work with people as personal as nursing is, it helps to learn to love them. That means being happy for them when they're recognized or doing better than you. Maybe talking to someone would help. 

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Specializes in Programming / Strategist for allnurses.

@chocolateocean You may want to check out our NCLEX Study Guide. It will definitely help you prepare for the test.

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