i feel trapped. i need help!

RN1982 · Sep 20, 2008

You need to do what makes you happy. If you don't think you can be a nurse, don't go into it just because there is "job security". Many people are not cut out to be a nurse. Maybe you are one of them. There are many other fields in healthcare that you could go into...respiratory therapy, radiology tech...You need to find your place. Yes you need to grow up. You need to do what makes you happy. If nursing is not for you, then you need to realize that and move on.

NewRN12109 · Sep 20, 2008

Hi There,

I agree with Michigan RN. If it is as bad as you are saying then I don't think it is for you. I just graduated from Nursing school in August and there were parts of it that made me miserable and I didn't care for but I KNEW thats what I wanted. I am now working at as a GN and LOVING in every aspect of it. I even said that I would NEVER EVER work med/surg and where am I med/surg. I can honestly say that it is a WHOLE DIFFERENT WORLD once you graduate. It's so hard to explain but there is not so much pressure on you to be perfect. My preceptor that is orienting me to the hospital is a veteran nurse of 33 years and she is patient and caring and is an incredible teacher. I can honestly say that the only part that makes me nervous is talking to the Dr.s. I think you should take a semester off to think about what you really want. If it is NOT nursing then get out now and do somegthing that makes you happy. It is not going to be good for you to finish for the sake of finishing in a job that you hate and don't think you can do. Good luck and I hope you find something thats just right for you.

bluefabian · Sep 20, 2008

This is the problem that we young people have when we came into nursing: the realization of having to grow up way fast, assuming responsibility and fitting in with people who has been in the profession for long. And we gotta do all of this one go and quick? Gimme a break!

All these while we also care about ourselves and suddenly people's lives (yes! that blur line between life and death) is there in your hands! ***! I am too young to have this burden! Been there before dude.

You are not stupid, just not knowledgeable enough.

I went through the same phase. And still are going through this dilemma all the time. I started nursing school the same age as you, and even felt to quit it. But the good part of being young is that you can make amends to your plan and drag no/less variables with it. No mouth to feed other than your own. No juggling between jobs. And having time to start over.

Ask yourself this: is this what I gonna do for a loooooooooong time? If not, quit now or regret later.

I work with mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny Filipino nurses here where I work in Saudi Arabia. Considering that you can get a decent job with awesome pay outside of your country, nursing may as well be the job to bring the food to the table. Not to diss, but I know how is the political and economical situation in the Phillipines? If all things are rosy, maaaaaannnnnny Filipinos will not migrate to the rest of the world. You wanna need to consider this fact.

But remember, no money can buy happiness. Just parts of it, but not the whole.

BrnEyedGirl, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN · Sep 20, 2008

My co-workers and I have had a long going discussion about this very same issue. I'm 42yrs old, I have a spouse, 2 kids, mortgage, car payments etc. I understand the importance of having good health insurance, life insurance to protect my family just in case, saving money for a rainy day, saving for college for my kids, setting a good example for my children, being responsible. Nursing is a second career for me, I graduated from nursing school after my 30th birthday.

When I became a nurse it was scary, as I think it is for any new grad. When I became a nurse, new grads weren't allowed to start off in critical care areas. Everyone spent at least a year on a med/surg floor before moving on.

I work in the ER of a very busy trauma center. We are always busy and we see some very sick pts. It is imperative that we are quick on our toes, able to make life saving decisions quickly. Peoples lives really are in our hands. I see many, many new grads coming straight to the ER. It's exciting, it's fast paced. I would have been so overwhelmed at 30 to be in the ER as a new grad, I can't imagine being 20!

We see these new grads, thrown into a very high stressed, fast paced environment and wonder why they decide nursing isn't for them. Wonder why they seem to call in more often. Wonder why they often seem frustrated, stressed, complain about not being able to sleep. Many of these new grads are 20-22yrs old. This is their first "real" job and we expect them to be professional, to jump in and handle the stress of a coding 19yr old, the 3yr old drowning victim, the 40yr old with an acute MI who's family is devastated and begging us to "save daddy".

I don't know about the rest of you, but when I was 22 I was more worried about what I was going to wear when I went out with my friends the next weekend, when was Victoria's Secret going to have their next 2 for 1 sale on panties, will my latest Mr Wonderful call like he said he would? I was spending money on sushi, $40 bras and $20 tubes of lipstick and had no savings account and really didn't think anything of it! My Mom was still stopping by to drop off groceries because I usually had no more than Ramen noodles and Mac N Cheese in my cabinets! My parents often had to step in and help with my rent because of above spending habits! They lectured and talked about responsibility and how it was time to grow up. I was attending college, without any real direction on what I wanted to do "when I grow up".

I can't imagine suddenly being responsible for peoples lives. I couldn't remember to let the dog out, let alone the steps of ACLS! But it was ok,.I was 22,.that's what 22yr olds do. No one thought it was strange when Mom had to help with the rent, no one thought it was strange that I would often stay out too late and sleep til noon the next day. No one questioned me about my $200 purse, when I worked part time. All my friends were just like me! I had very little cares, very little worries and was just having a good time.

So why now are we all upset when this same 22yr old is worried about the responsibilities and stresses of being a nurse? I admit that some 22yr olds are more mature than others. Some 22yr olds are married with kids, and mortgages. I just can't believe that the average 22yr old should be put in the position of having other peoples lives depend on the decisions they make. Decisions that must be made now, not something they can ponder for days. I'm not saying that 22yr olds should not become nurses. I just think that our expectations for new, young grads should be more realistic.

To the OP,.nursing is very stressful. It can also be very rewarding. There is a great sense of pride to be found when you know you were there for someone in their time of need. There is a wonderful sense of accomplishment to know that you participated in saving someones life, relieved their suffering or just calmed their fears. Nurses are caregivers. We use our skills, our education and our intelligence to care for those who need us. Not everyone is a caregiver. If nursing isn't something you love it is a horrible way to spend your days/nights. If you see yourself as more of a suit and tie kinda gal, spending time behind a computer or in a court room or a big office with a window then nursing isn't for you. There is no shame in that. You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you. You can make of it what you choose. Keep looking and find your passion. Find something that gets you excited, something that you are truly interested in. If it isn't nursing, that's ok. A career choice is a big decision. You will spend a large part of your life dedicated to your choice. Make sure it's the right one!

chicagrl · Sep 21, 2008

oh my ...stop what your are doing....

where are you? i have some experience with this.

as a caucasian girl .... I had to go to college and be "smart" b/c i was first born and that is "just what we did"

i bet i can kind of empathize.

not trying to stereotype..but that is all my nursing texts do...

i did not realize how big healthcare was in the filipino community until i took acna class in my city. wow. i

bet I know some of what you are feeling..

anyway . if you are living in america you need to DO what is best for YOU ...i hope i am not flamed for saying that but that is what most of our filipino friends have done.....

it will be hard but maybe you should come back to nursing

take some time off if possible .. find a secure place. do you have any older siblings who may be more open minded?

if not then

a: suck it up , do it ..get your credentials and then go do something else ...what many of my friends did (all ethnicities)

or

b) do what you want/need to do and expect some other types of hardship..i only recommend this if you have a good support group ..friends . other relatives etc who are open to you doing something besides "what you are supposed to do" blah blah blah

RN1982 · Sep 21, 2008

oh my ...stop what your are doing....
where are you? i have some experience with this.
as a caucasian girl .... I had to go to college and be "smart" b/c i was first born and that is "just what we did"
i bet i can kind of empathize.
not trying to stereotype..but that is all my nursing texts do...
i did not realize how big healthcare was in the filipino community until i took acna class in my city. wow. i
bet I know some of what you are feeling..
anyway . if you are living in america you need to DO what is best for YOU ...i hope i am not flamed for saying that but that is what most of our filipino friends have done.....
it will be hard but maybe you should come back to nursing
take some time off if possible .. find a secure place. do you have any older siblings who may be more open minded?
if not then
a: suck it up , do it ..get your credentials and then go do something else ...what many of my friends did (all ethnicities)
or
b) do what you want/need to do and expect some other types of hardship..i only recommend this if you have a good support group ..friends . other relatives etc who are open to you doing something besides "what you are supposed to do" blah blah blah

What does being Caucasian have to do with it? Am I missing something?

Acosmo27 · Sep 21, 2008

My co-workers and I have had a long going discussion about this very same issue. I'm 42yrs old, I have a spouse, 2 kids, mortgage, car payments etc. I understand the importance of having good health insurance, life insurance to protect my family just in case, saving money for a rainy day, saving for college for my kids, setting a good example for my children, being responsible. Nursing is a second career for me, I graduated from nursing school after my 30th birthday.
When I became a nurse it was scary, as I think it is for any new grad. When I became a nurse, new grads weren't allowed to start off in critical care areas. Everyone spent at least a year on a med/surg floor before moving on.
I work in the ER of a very busy trauma center. We are always busy and we see some very sick pts. It is imperative that we are quick on our toes, able to make life saving decisions quickly. Peoples lives really are in our hands. I see many, many new grads coming straight to the ER. It's exciting, it's fast paced. I would have been so overwhelmed at 30 to be in the ER as a new grad, I can't imagine being 20!
We see these new grads, thrown into a very high stressed, fast paced environment and wonder why they decide nursing isn't for them. Wonder why they seem to call in more often. Wonder why they often seem frustrated, stressed, complain about not being able to sleep. Many of these new grads are 20-22yrs old. This is their first "real" job and we expect them to be professional, to jump in and handle the stress of a coding 19yr old, the 3yr old drowning victim, the 40yr old with an acute MI who's family is devastated and begging us to "save daddy".
I don't know about the rest of you, but when I was 22 I was more worried about what I was going to wear when I went out with my friends the next weekend, when was Victoria's Secret going to have their next 2 for 1 sale on panties, will my latest Mr Wonderful call like he said he would? I was spending money on sushi, $40 bras and $20 tubes of lipstick and had no savings account and really didn't think anything of it! My Mom was still stopping by to drop off groceries because I usually had no more than Ramen noodles and Mac N Cheese in my cabinets! My parents often had to step in and help with my rent because of above spending habits! They lectured and talked about responsibility and how it was time to grow up. I was attending college, without any real direction on what I wanted to do "when I grow up".
I can't imagine suddenly being responsible for peoples lives. I couldn't remember to let the dog out, let alone the steps of ACLS! But it was ok,.I was 22,.that's what 22yr olds do. No one thought it was strange when Mom had to help with the rent, no one thought it was strange that I would often stay out too late and sleep til noon the next day. No one questioned me about my $200 purse, when I worked part time. All my friends were just like me! I had very little cares, very little worries and was just having a good time.
So why now are we all upset when this same 22yr old is worried about the responsibilities and stresses of being a nurse? I admit that some 22yr olds are more mature than others. Some 22yr olds are married with kids, and mortgages. I just can't believe that the average 22yr old should be put in the position of having other peoples lives depend on the decisions they make. Decisions that must be made now, not something they can ponder for days. I'm not saying that 22yr olds should not become nurses. I just think that our expectations for new, young grads should be more realistic.
To the OP,.nursing is very stressful. It can also be very rewarding. There is a great sense of pride to be found when you know you were there for someone in their time of need. There is a wonderful sense of accomplishment to know that you participated in saving someones life, relieved their suffering or just calmed their fears. Nurses are caregivers. We use our skills, our education and our intelligence to care for those who need us. Not everyone is a caregiver. If nursing isn't something you love it is a horrible way to spend your days/nights. If you see yourself as more of a suit and tie kinda gal, spending time behind a computer or in a court room or a big office with a window then nursing isn't for you. There is no shame in that. You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you. You can make of it what you choose. Keep looking and find your passion. Find something that gets you excited, something that you are truly interested in. If it isn't nursing, that's ok. A career choice is a big decision. You will spend a large part of your life dedicated to your choice. Make sure it's the right one!

I can really relate to the feelings in your post. Being 21 years old, most of my friends are more worried about what bar to go to this weekend. Quite honestly, I wish that were my only worries right now too. Sometimes I feel like Im too young to be in nursing. I know its what I want to do, and thats why Ive worked so hard, but sometimes it just doesnt seem fair. I feel like Ive had to grow up alot faster than all my friends around me. Its a struggle, but I know my parents are really proud of me. Its just really hard to be happy though sometimes when you know that others around you are having so much fun, and your stuck studying for an exam that you HAVE to get a A on.... I dont know, Im glad I got into nursing when I did, but sometimes I wish I could be a little older. I do feel im mature for my age however when it comes down to it Im only 21 years old. Ill be a "real" nurse when Im 22.... that just scares me to death, i mean, i was just learning to drive 5 years ago.

RN1982 · Sep 21, 2008

I can really relate to the feelings in your post. Being 21 years old, most of my friends are more worried about what bar to go to this weekend. Quite honestly, I wish that were my only worries right now too. Sometimes I feel like Im too young to be in nursing. I know its what I want to do, and thats why Ive worked so hard, but sometimes it just doesnt seem fair. I feel like Ive had to grow up alot faster than all my friends around me. Its a struggle, but I know my parents are really proud of me. Its just really hard to be happy though sometimes when you know that others around you are having so much fun, and your stuck studying for an exam that you HAVE to get a A on.... I dont know, Im glad I got into nursing when I did, but sometimes I wish I could be a little older. I do feel im mature for my age however when it comes down to it Im only 21 years old. Ill be a "real" nurse when Im 22.... that just scares me to death.

I agree also. I was 21 when I started nursing school but I don't regret starting early. I was pretty set on what I wanted to do and what I wanted to be. My parents encouraged me to go to school. They didn't force me. I think when I was 20, I realized that I don't want to waste time partying and getting drunk. I had done enough of that when I was 18-19. I have no regrets though. I graduated when I was 23 and I moved out of my parents home about six months after graduation and have lived on my own since. I feel more independant now.

nessa1982 · Sep 21, 2008

I know how you feel..sometimes I still feel that way and I have been an RN for 3.5 years now! Sometimes its hard being young and having such a responsible position. Do you like nursing? If you like it, and are interested in it stay. if not run, its hard enough if you actually like it and if you dont like it I would suggest doing something else! BTW I knew I always wanted to go itno health care but when I became an RN at 22 it scared the crap out of me..heck sometimes it still scares the crap out of me..I hope you can make a decision that makes YOU happy not just your family :)

GingerSue · Sep 21, 2008

There are many fields that a person can study and prepare for.

Nursing is one field.

Riseupandnurse · Sep 21, 2008

I could never have been a nurse in my 20s. I was 39 when I graduated. Please switch fields. You are miserable now; if you stay in and go into nursing, you will be even more miserable. There are so many jobs with good security and where you don't have to worry about killing or injuring people. Just do it!! You won't be sorry.