should i feel guilty?

leslie :-D · Aug 22, 2008

these past few months, i have cut waaaaay back on my hours.

some much needed respite as well as a couple of challenges to peruse.

hubby is very supportive and actually appreciates me being home...

as are my kids, even if they're older.

enjoy your leave, and make the most of it.

here's to fresh new beginnings!:balloons:

leslie

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Aug 22, 2008

It's really none of anyone else's business whether you do or don't work, how much or how little, or your reasons for doing so. They especially should not be laying a guilt trip on you for it.

Your life, your business. Don't feel guilty.

Salgal08 · Aug 22, 2008

No way- don't feel guilty. People made comments to me when I left nursing for awhile, and I even had two babies at home. When my kids got a little older, people would ask me what I did with all my time :eek: .

Now that I'm returning to nursing, some judge us for that.

We've learned that we need to do what's best for our family. Our priority is our family.

It sounds like you're doing what's best for your family- you and your husband.

Blessings to you- ENJOY! :up:

Jo Dirt · Aug 22, 2008

You should not feel guilty. At the same time, you should keep certain details to yourself. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to take a leave of absence from work to "just stay at home" and when others hear this as a reason for the leave it looks like they are having it rubbed in their faces, especially when you are telling this to overworked, underpaid folks with mounds of financial responsibilities.

I can understand this frustration of your coworkers. I work with a nurse who seems to feel like everyone should know she has a houseboat and has to take weekend trips to places like Panama City or Hilton Head. I think she is expecting us to ooh and aah when she tells us all the details, but we really just roll our eyes at each other when she starts in.

It's your business and there is no reason to feel guilty. At the same time, it's common courtsey to take into consideration not many people are in a situation as yours. Of course, it is going to look like gloating on your part.

There are times when telling the absolute truth is not such a good idea. This is one of them.

ArwenEvenstar · Aug 22, 2008

You should not feel guilty. At the same time, you should keep certain details to yourself. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to take a leave of absence from work to "just stay at home" and when others hear this as a reason for the leave it looks like they are having it rubbed in their faces, especially when you are telling this to overworked, underpaid folks with mounds of financial responsibilities.
I can understand this frustration of your coworkers. I work with a nurse who seems to feel like everyone should know she has a houseboat and has to take weekend trips to places like Panama City or Hilton Head. I think she is expecting us to ooh and aah when she tells us all the details, but we really just roll our eyes at each other when she starts in.
It's your business and there is no reason to feel guilty. At the same time, it's common courtsey to take into consideration not many people are in a situation as yours. Of course, it is going to look like gloating on your part.
There are times when telling the absolute truth is not such a good idea. This is one of them.

I completely agree that this nurse who brags about a houseboat and fancy vacations is annoying! I'd be rolling my eyes too! However, this does not mean she is on "easy street". She could very well be drowning in debt to maintain her high level of living. Things are not always what they seem. Likewise, someone who can take a leave of absence "just to stay at home", does NOT necessarily have the "luxury" to do so. Perhaps they live a very frugal/simple life, and the fact they live this lifestyle gives them the freedom to take time off.

A friend of mine is a stay-at-home mom by choice. She sometimes gets comments that "it must be nice to have the luxury to stay home". She gets very frustrated at times with these comments. Her and her husband live on a shoe string budget. They make it, but only because they live a very scaled back, simple, and frugal life. She sometimes laughs to herself about her "life of luxury" as she is washing cloth diapers, making simple old-fashioned meals from scratch, clipping coupons, etc. But they were willing to make these sacrifices for her to be able to stay home.

I agree that it may be best to be evasive and not tell every detail. But everyone makes different choices in life.

Atheos · Aug 22, 2008

i have decided to take a leave for a coulple of months and just stay home. i have no kids,no money problems,i am not sick,i am not lazy and i am not sick of nsg. i just want to try on the roll of fulltime house wife for a little while. my husband supports my choices. the problem is my fellow nurses. they cannot understand why? i have even had a couple of them ask how i could do this when nurses are needed so badly. i thought i was making a personal decision for myself. i never dreamed others would take it as a stab in the back. i am not leaving forever. i just wanted some me time. am i wrong for this?

It's just pure envy. In fact I am starting to feel envious. I hate you!!!!! (

Heh j/k. That actually sounds like a good idea. Misery does love company though. I find many people get annoyed when people don't share their 'burdens' and are child, bill, responsibility, etc free. Good choices make for a GREAT life.

Enjoy your time off!!!! :yeah: :yeah: :yeah:

casi, ASN, RN · Aug 22, 2008

The only person you have to worry about taking care of is yourself. If you need or want a break from work to try something new, go for it and ENJOY!

soulofme · Aug 22, 2008

Why even worry what they think...If I could I'd do it myself. GO 4 IT:yeah:

Jo Dirt · Aug 23, 2008

I completely agree that this nurse who brags about a houseboat and fancy vacations is annoying! I'd be rolling my eyes too! However, this does not mean she is on "easy street". She could very well be drowning in debt to maintain her high level of living. Things are not always what they seem. Likewise, someone who can take a leave of absence "just to stay at home", does NOT necessarily have the "luxury" to do so. Perhaps they live a very frugal/simple life, and the fact they live this lifestyle gives them the freedom to take time off.
A friend of mine is a stay-at-home mom by choice. She sometimes gets comments that "it must be nice to have the luxury to stay home". She gets very frustrated at times with these comments. Her and her husband live on a shoe string budget. They make it, but only because they live a very scaled back, simple, and frugal life. She sometimes laughs to herself about her "life of luxury" as she is washing cloth diapers, making simple old-fashioned meals from scratch, clipping coupons, etc. But they were willing to make these sacrifices for her to be able to stay home.

Well guess what? I live like a pauper AND I still have to work! Being a SAHM isn't an option for me, no matter what!

The houseboat princess only has those things because they belong to her dad. Otherwise, I know what you mean about looking good and driving a fancy car and being a paycheck away from bankruptcy.

Someone said something about not having children being a "good" choice. This is a sad viewpoint. I love my children and couldn't imagine life without them, even though they drive me crazy.

Keepstanding, ASN, RN · Aug 23, 2008

hey, take the time and enjoy it. you have worked hard for that break and you deserve it !

pagandeva2000, LPN · Aug 23, 2008

Feel guilty? Nope. Wish I can do the same.

ArwenEvenstar · Aug 23, 2008

Well guess what? I live like a pauper AND I still have to work! Being a SAHM isn't an option for me, no matter what!
The houseboat princess only has those things because they belong to her dad. Otherwise, I know what you mean about looking good and driving a fancy car and being a paycheck away from bankruptcy.
Someone said something about not having children being a "good" choice. This is a sad viewpoint. I love my children and couldn't imagine life without them, even though they drive me crazy.

GoLytely, My apologies. I did not mean to offend. I also definitely did not mean to insinuate that being a SAHM is an option for everyone. (It's not!!) Or that only SAHM are frugal and everyone else throws their money around. Plenty of full-time working people very carefully watch their money too.

My only general point was that ya can't judge every situation the same. It is sad to me how the OP has had to get a "guilt trip" and negative remarks from her co-workers. They should be happy for her. It does not sound like the OP bragged to her co-workers either but was just matter-of-fact about taking a leave.

I agreed with the poster that said: "It's just pure envy... Misery does love company though. I find many people get annoyed when people don't share their 'burdens' and are child, bill, responsibility, etc free. Good choices make for a GREAT life."

I can't speak for someone else, but I don't think this poster meant that not having kids was a "good" choice necessarily. But was just making the general point that everyone's life circumstances are different, and everyone makes different choices in life. And some people may even turn their lemons into lemonade! (For instance, I happen to be childless but not by choice. I have infertility. Yet, I have grown VERY content without kids and love the freedom I have...)

People can indeed be envious and make negative remarks when they see someone who can do things that they can not. Maybe it was handed to them on a silver platter. But maybe it came through years of hard work/planning/good decision making or simply being content with the circumstance life handed them. May the OP enjoy her wonderful break!!