i feel guilty, help!

[anotherone]

Hello, this is a common topic posted about but I want more posts aimed at me to make me feel better, or worse if appropriate. So my floor is really short staffed. Some times I come in early, stay late, or come in on days off. Other times I say no, even to staying late when I am already there. I don't always have something to do. I just don't feel like working more hours. Some shifts are so bad the thought of 4 -8more hours is undoable. Then, i feel really guilty for not helping out more by staying when i am there, or comming in 4 hours early or on days off and knowing that the other nurses are now working short and i could have helped by staying.Since i work short often, i know how terrible it can be. Does anyone else feel this way? Should I stay/come in if I don't have anything to do?I feel like I do my part by comming in on my scheduled shifts and working a couple of OT shifts/ extra time a few times a week. (48-56hours). Why do I feel guilty about it? I think it is because I know i could have made a bad situation better but chose to leave instead.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

Just don't answer the phone when they call you! Unless you have some kind of contract that requires you to work extra a certain percentage of the time, you are under no obligation to solve your employer's staffing problems! They need to hire more staff!

As long as you and your coworkers keep covering short staffed shifts, you are enabling your employer to continue this practice of short staffing.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with picking up some extra hours every now and again because you WANT to, for the extra money, or just to help out. But don't let your employer guilt you into working more than you are up for.

[PediNurse3]

I don't do bedside nursing anymore, but when I did, I would work extra only when it was convenient for me. I didn't have a problem saying no.

I don't think that you should feel guilty. Staffing is not your problem. Sure, it's a nice gesture to help out if you want to, but if you've worked your required shifts and don't feel like working any extra, there shouldn't be any guilt or pressure to stay late or pick up extra, and you don't owe them an explanation. It certainally doesn't sound like they have any guilt over running you and the rest of the staff ragged.

[rn/writer, RN]

Relying heavily on nurses to pick up extra shifts--even when they want to but especially when they don't--should not be a staffing tool. Some facilities/managers lean hard on their nurses to fill in the holes because they don't want to spend money on additional hiring. They use guilt, praise, intimidation, flattery--whatever it takes to get a person to cover more hours.

It may seem like you're being team player to go along with this idea, but you're actually doing just the opposite. By agreeing to work more hours than you really are okay with, you're setting the bar higher for your co-workers. You're exposing yourself to burnout. And you're communicating to management that, hey, this "system" is working pretty well and they should keep using it.

Some managers genuinely hate having to play this game, but do it anyway because upper management leaves them no real solutions. Some might be able to make headway with the big bosses, but they don't know how to be assertive enough to stick up for their staff.

And I do think there are a few who get bent over being salaried and not being paid for all the extra time they put it. This can lead to an insensitive (they can just suck it up!) attitude toward the hourly folks.

Whatever the reason, find a way to get over this false sense of guilt or get very comfortable with picking up lots and lots of extra shifts. Might want to sock some of your overtime away to tide you over when you implode and need to find a less stressful job.

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

I posted about burn out a couple months back. I was starting to go there....didn't like it. Told my boss and coworkers, "I'm tired. No more."

Your first responsibility is yourself, not the employer. Just because you have time off, does that mean you should feel guilty and work? No! Staffing is their problem. I got call display, and I stopped answering when the hospital calls. I don't feel guilty. Our lives should not revolve around work. It isn't healthy, or fun.

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

Do NOT feel guilty.

I hate to say this, but if you always are there when they ask you to be, they will come to expect it and may actually staff with the expectation that you will cover.

It is well known to my management that I will change my schedule around to help. However, I do not work much overtime. Rather, I'll change my days around to benefit staffing, or stay late today if I can come in early tomorrow, that kind of thing.

[NewAggieGrad09]

Yeah, I feel like that sometimes, but hell, in order to take care of these kids, I need to be sane!

[nyrn5125]

don't feel guilty. they know you guys are handling working short so why hire new staff? only do it when you need the money and it benefits you.

[Jenni811, RN]

If you don't want to, then don't do it.

I never look down on my coworkers when they just don't feel like picking up more hours. we all understand that we need a break. But if a nurse does it ALL the time and NEVER EVER helps out, then i might question something. But if once in a bluemoon you need a rest, no harm in that.

[IdrilRN, BSN, RN]

wow RN writer I wish I read your answer a few years ago!

I stayed till 5p, came in a 3a with the promise of leaving at 11a, and usually was begged to stay til 3p with the promise of the next day off. And guess what, I would be called to work the next day.

I blew up saying to the staffing person, that I wasn't the only person working their and can not stay and had to be someplace at 4, so I better have someone after me. Some how the DNS was able to stay.

They were so desperate one night they even offered to pay for my dinner out for my MIL bday if I went the next night. I told them that wasn't the point, my family had this planned for months.

I've learned a lot since then and learned just how much I can work extra and learned to recognize when I have.

It doesn't matter if you have "nothing to do" on your days off. It's your day, spend it watching your favorite movies, read a book, learn a hobby or go to the movies.

It's your time.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

As long as you and your coworkers keep covering short staffed shifts, you are enabling your employer to continue this practice of short staffing.

That is it in a nutshell.

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

Should I decide to sleep all day or stare at the walls for 8 hrs, that's my business. A day off is a day off. No explanation necessary. Once I begin to feel that work is taking over my life....time to get another job. Period.

Employers are too much, because the reality is if you quit....a week later short staffed and all, they won't remember your name. We're all replaceable.

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

Thanks for the replies. To the posters who mentioned not answering the phone............. they keep calling and leaving message after message after message. lol It is easier for me to say no on the phone. But what they mostly seem to do is try to guilt trip the nurses already working that day. Example you worked 3p-11p but they are short 11p-7am , managment will corner you and ask you to stay multiple times. than the idiot coworkes, who must really have no life outside of this job, can't understand why you can't help out, how can you leave them short, "you are putting patients in danger" UM NO I AM NOT, MANAGEMENT/ADMINISTRATION IS BY CHRONICALLY UNDERSTAFFING!!!!! etc................ I dunno how so many of them do12- 16 hour days multiple times a week so easily.