Father of a nursing student needs advice

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

Thank you, Grn Tea. This thread needed a wake-up call.
i was trying to go there in the beginning, but not nearly as eloquently

See response to Grn tea Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I tried to deliver a similar message a bit more gently.
LOL

See response to Grn Tea. thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

Thank goodness, GrnTea! I was thinking maybe there was something wrong with me. I don't understand these parents who come to the board asking all kinds of questions about how to direct their child's education or career. Helicopter parenting is going to be the ruin of many young people.

I am afraid if I am a helicopter parent the helicopter has caught fire and crashed. I am not sure caring about your child is ruining them. I asked a simple question to gain insight into the nursing profession. I have had many great responses. Please read some of my responses to them. I responded to Grn Tea also."Proud member of the Proud Fathers Society" Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I just want to say that you seem like a very caring father. She could apply now, or once she passes the NCLEX. Keep in mind that when she gets work it will be very stressful, especially for the first year. I think she should take a nice vacation after the NCLEX is passed!

I certainly want her to take a breather for a few weeks after the NCLEX. After that, based on everyone else's post she might have to suck it up for a year or two and then hopefully take a vacation. thank you for that great compliment. I am a caring father. Are you a Mom?

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Mar 28, 2014

I am afraid if I am a helicopter parent the helicopter has caught fire and crashed. I am not sure caring about your child is ruining them. I asked a simple question to gain insight into the nursing profession. I have had many great responses. Please read some of my responses to them. I responded to Grn Tea also."Proud member of the Proud Fathers Society" Thank you

You are a good caring Dad. I hover. I admit it. I let them fall but I try to cushion the blow...or at least have enough bandaids on hand to help heal the wounds. I love and respect my friend GrnTea but we differ a little on this issue.

My job as a parent is to guide and steer my daughter in the direction to help her be as successful as she can be. She is very bright, intelligent, and as stubborn as her Mom. As she has grown older I give her options. I tell her about what is available, the possible consequences, and what I think would be best, Then I allow her the decision. I make sure she has unbiased factual information and my unedited opinion. That is my job. If she fails. I help her pick up the pieces.

I would give her the unbiased facts you find out. Let her know the risks. Have her come here and read about the reality of the job market and the difficulty she will face if she waits too long.

There comes a time they do have to have responsibility and fend for themselves a bit. Set a limit. Say....I am saying this because I care...I have looked into this. You need to move quickly. Take your boards, get your license. Take a nice relaxing vacation but then you need to hit the ground running. Get a job and move forward to the rest of your beautiful life.

I was an RN at 18. Married at 19 (against my parents advice) they were there to pick up the pieces just like they said they would be. I owned my own home by age 20. My parents, ever present, ever supportive, ever opinionated, always loving...... gave me the strength, the courage, the intelligence and the resiliency to weather life. (I miss you dad)

You're a good dad...Hold on loosely but don't let go.

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

You are a good caring Dad. I hover. I admit it. I let them fall but I try to cushion the blow...or at least have enough bandaids on hand to help heal the wounds. I love and respect my friend GrnTea but we differ a little on this issue.
My job as a parent is to guide and steer my daughter in the direction to help her be as successful as she can be. She is very bright, intelligent, and as stubborn as her Mom. As she has grown older I give her options. I tell her about what is available, the possible consequences, and what I think would be best, Then I allow her the decision. I make sure she has unbiased factual information and my unedited opinion. That is my job. If she fails. I help her pick up the pieces.
I would give her the unbiased facts you find out. Let her know the risks. Have her come here and read about the reality of the job market and the difficulty she will face if she waits too long.
There comes a time they do have to have responsibility and fend for themselves a bit. Set a limit. Say....I am saying this because I care...I have looked into this. You need to move quickly. Take your boards, get your license. Take a nice relaxing vacation but then you need to hit the ground running. Get a job and move forward to the rest of your beautiful life.
I was an RN at 18. Married at 19 (against my parents advice) they were there to pick up the pieces just like they said they would be. I owned my own home by age 20. My parents, ever present, ever supportive, ever opinionated, always loving...... gave me the strength, the courage, the intelligence and the resiliency to weather life. (I miss you dad)
You're a good dad...Hold on loosely but don't let go.

What an awesome post. You and I are twins separated at birth. I could have not have said it better if I took two months to write it. My parenting approach is exactly like yours. Your salute to your Dad is just wonderful. I hope my daughter will remember me some day as you remember your Dad.

Thank you.

jetsy62 · Mar 28, 2014

Esme12 and Keane68 sound like my mom. I wouldn't change it. I am thankful.

HappyWife77, BSN, RN · Mar 28, 2014

I love this thread....

Just sayin.....?

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Mar 28, 2014

What an awesome post. You and I are twins separated at birth. I could have not have said it better if I took two months to write it. My parenting approach is exactly like yours. Your salute to your Dad is just wonderful. I hope my daughter will remember me some day as you remember your Dad.
Thank you.

I miss him every day. It's been 5 LONG years. You can't pick your parents. I happened to pick the lottery. I call my Mom everyday. I have been blessed with the best parents. While they are not without fault...LOL...But who is....they are my strength, my foundation.

I raise my daughter like I was raised. She is a beautiful poised, intelligent, graceful, self sufficient human being growing into a wonderful Young lady. She'll be 18 in 2 weeks and starts a 4 year program in the fall.

Your daughter will love you forever. Us daddy's girls always do.

My dad used to tell me that it isn't the obstacles that that you encounter that mold you it's how you navigate around them that counts.

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I miss him every day. It's been 5 LONG years. You can't pick your parents. I happened to pick the lottery. I call my Mom everyday. I have been blessed with the best parents. While they are not without fault...LOL...But who is....they are my strength, my foundation.
I raise my daughter like I was raised. She is a beautiful poised, intelligent, graceful, self sufficient human being growing into a wonderful Young lady. She'll be 18 in 2 weeks and starts a 4 year program in the fall.
Your daughter will love you forever. Us daddy's girls always do.
My dad used to tell me that it isn't the obstacles that that you encounter that mold you it's how you navigate around them that counts.

Be grateful of your good memories. It makes it feel like he is still watching over you. My thoughts concerning my Dad border on contempt even after all the years he has been gone. Is that how we want to be remembered by our children ? I lost the lottery but not the sense of my self worth and what I could do with my life. My Mom. I used to be close until I was old enough to realize what she allowed to happen under her watch. I know she is my Mom but parents do not let those things knowingly happen and turn the other cheek.

I did not raise my daughter the way I was raised. Thankfully for me and her. However, I raised mine the way I wish I would have been raised. I raised her like you raised your daughter. I love how you talk about your daughter. How cool is that? I get to go to the campus next week and help pick out my daughters cap and gown and get instructions on what to do when we attend the graduation. Just think, you will be doing that in four years. It will fly by. And because she knows I like this she also bought tickets to a Sherlock Holmes exibit in Columbus close to campus. That is what I mean. She does little things to show her appreciation. Take care

OCNRN63, RN · Mar 28, 2014

Yes, she has to remember that job is not going to start as soon as she graduates. Honestly I do not think she has applied anywhere yet. She will find out it will be more difficult than she imagines. Again, a lesson she will learn the hard way if that is the path she chooses.Thanks

I am afraid if I am a helicopter parent the helicopter has caught fire and crashed. I am not sure caring about your child is ruining them. I asked a simple question to gain insight into the nursing profession. I have had many great responses. Please read some of my responses to them. I responded to Grn Tea also."Proud member of the Proud Fathers Society" Thank you

I think your responses after your OP clarifies your stance. I still have to wonder about parents posting about their child's schooling, but such is the brave new world of the interwebs.

When you say you were watching missiles in KS, do you mean you were one of the guys in the silos? My best friend, who was in the Army a long time, lived in WY. When I would go out to visit her she would take me on a drive and show me where some of the silos were located. (Don't ask me how she knew that.)

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I think your responses after your OP clarifies your stance. I still have to wonder about parents posting about their child's schooling, but such is the brave new world of the interwebs.
When you say you were watching missiles in KS, do you mean you were one of the guys in the silos? My best friend, who was in the Army a long time, lived in WY. When I would go out to visit her she would take me on a drive and show me where some of the silos were located. (Don't ask me how she knew that.)

Yes, I was one of the guys in the silos. It's like a city down there. You were required to stay down for two weeks and then have two weeks above ground. Believe it or not almost all the civilian population knew where they were. But, getting close to them is another thing. Wichita Falls KS. Dorothy should have stayed in Oz.