Father of a nursing student needs advice

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

My advice is to back off and let her enjoy at least one summer of her own time, especially if she took summer classes. Maybe encourage her to look into getting a job as a student nurse at a summer camp while she prepares for NCLEX. While it is nice that you want her to get a job asap, I would let her take a little bit of time. It is hard for new grads however I think Ohio State has enough sway to influence hospitals to at least interview her since their program is super tough. The last thing you want is for her to suffer a bad burnout and hate whatever job she takes.
While the fear of old new grad status is very real, I would be very scared of her burning out and hating the field too. Also, she will probably have at least 1 month before she can take the NCLEX and get her license. I'm in Ohio and it took me a month and two weeks to be able to test. However, I had already secured a job and instead spent that time working my butt off at my ER before I switched to the ICU. I did take a mini vacation up to Michigan though and I enjoyed seeing the sights around there.
If you could afford it, could you afford to send her on a brief mini-vacation after graduation? Like maybe her and 1 friend? Or give her money for a brief vacation as a graduation present? I'd think about it and let her know asap since sometimes you have to request time off months in advance with hospitals (we already have May's schedule out).

That is quite interesting you say something about being a nurse at a summer camp. She had someone come up to her a few weeks ago and propose that very thing. She would have to pass the boards first. I do think about the question of burn out. But, as you say. She will have some time to breathe before she takes her boards. I know she will still be studying for the board and working part time but it won't be that plus clinicals. I can afford it but I won't send her on a vacation with a friend. Those days are over. However we can do a few fun things around here if it works out. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

"My advice is to back off and let her enjoy at least one summer of her own time, especially if she took summer classes. Maybe encourage her to look into getting a job as a student nurse at a summer camp while she prepares for NCLEX. While it is nice that you want her to get a job asap, I would let her take a little bit of time. It is hard for new grads however I think Ohio State has enough sway to influence hospitals to at least interview her since their program is super tough. The last thing you want is for her to suffer a bad burnout and hate whatever job she takes.
While the fear of old new grad status is very real, I would be very scared of her burning out and hating the field too. Also, she will probably have at least 1 month before she can take the NCLEX and get her license. I'm in Ohio and it took me a month and two weeks to be able to test. However, I had already secured a job and instead spent that time working my butt off at my ER before I switched to the ICU. I did take a mini vacation up to Michigan though and I enjoyed seeing the sights around there.
If you could afford it, could you afford to send her on a brief mini-vacation after graduation? Like maybe her and 1 friend? Or give her money for a brief vacation as a graduation present? I'd think about it and let her know asap since sometimes you have to request time off months in advance with hospitals (we already have May's schedule out)."

Jim, one of the benefits of AN.com is that all of us give our best opinions, no holds barred.
My POV:
Did YOU take a year off between college & working because your parents felt that you might be burnt-out?
Do most folks have to earn their own keep as soon as they're able?
Is it character-building to be self-supporting as soon as you're able?
The fact is that your daughter is extremely fortunate to have such a supportive father. In fact, you might be surprised at how many of her peers will graduate (unlike her) with mountains of student loan debt. Ask her. You have already done SO much for your daughter - pamper her much more and you might be well on your way to creating a monster.
Please do not take the joy of self-sufficiency away from her. Allow her to experience the empowerment of success in her chosen field. EVERYONE feels exhausted after completing a degree! It's totally normal!
Let your daughter earn and pay for her own vacation! It's the best parenting decision you'll ever make. And it will be the best vacation your daughter will ever take. One that SHE earned, all by herself.

I appreciate the opinions. I would not have asked. Believe me I have a thick skin. I own businesses. You better have a thick skin. I did not have parents who thought college was important. I did not take time off because I could not. I was already and older grad. I have worked since I was 15. My daughter has worked since she was 16. She worked at Subway. I got sick of Subway sandwiches. :)

She is extremely fortunate. However she appreciates it and does not take it for granted. She tells me thank you almost every week. She will never be a monster. If you knew my background you would know why. I am not who you may think I am. I understand my post may imply that but that is not the case. Paid vacations for her are over. It's time to be an adult. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

OK, Jim, just offering up my opinion but now is NOT the time for a break... not even close.
Your young lady really needs to be busting her butt to find her first job because she's in a terribly competitive field filled with thousands of smart, diligent kids just like herself with whom she's competing for a limited number of good jobs.
Truly, the tone of her entire career could be determined by the next year and what she's able to secure for herself. Even a six-month hiatus could render her unable to find a quality job when competing with a new batch of new grad nurses... and that first job can open up doors to the future... or slam them shut.
Hooking up with a large, university health system will spread before her a dizzying array of options over the next 10 years. Getting "stuck" in LTC or a small, rural hospital may wipe most of those options away.
I speak from firsthand experience, both in nursing and in my original career.
She needs to on the accelerator, not the clutch...
~~~
The best time to take a break is between her first and second jobs or with a leave-of-absence/sabbatical 3-5 years down the road.

I agree with you. I needed to hear from people who know. I am not a nurse. I do not know the field. That is why I asked the question. I sent her your post. She has been given the information. It is her decision how to use it. I have a feeling she will make the right choice. We shall see. I love your analogy. "She needs to on the accelerator, not the clutch...". I own auto repair shops. How appropriate. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

Even with a sparkly new license, she's a nurse in name only... these next couple of years are when she will become an actual nurse; that is, an independent practitioner of the art.
Until she reaches that point, her efforts need to be directed toward that or it really is at risk.

Exactly. Wasn't this the whole reason to go to nursing school? Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I'm about to graduate nursing school in May, as well, and I wouldn't dream of taking time off. I believe employers would be curious to this gap of unemployment on my resume and might view me as less than the hard worker that I am.

Congratulations !! That is awesome. She has worked since she was 16. She understands the rules of employment. She will decide what that means to her. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

You sound like a wonderful and supportive father. Your daughter is lucky to have you.
The most important question is: What does your daughter want to do?
I, too, graduated from nursing school young. I had a job before I graduated on the unit I worked as a tech, scheduled NCLEX as soon as I could after graduation, and started a new grad program the following month. Best decision I made!
Personal recommendations based on my own experiences:
1) Start looking for jobs now, especially hospitals with new grad residency programs and large university teaching hospitals. If your daughter is happy with her current position, the first place to start looking is on her unit, then branch out to her hospital, and finally to her hospital system/family.
2) NCLEX/boards as close as possible to graduation while everything is fresh on her mind and she is still in study mode.
3) Start working ASAP. You do not want to wait. The market is very tough right now. She needs to get into a residency program ASAP. Your daughter needs to look at her current hospital and even if she is not 100% that she wants to work there it can be a backup plan. Residency programs usually have set dates, so she may get a couple weeks off before starting the job. I wanted to take a vacation as a graduation present. It took me 1 year to take that vacation when I switched departments at my current hospital. She will get time off. But the time is not now, when she is establishing her career.

Thank you for your nice words.How great it was that you got an early start to your career. She is working at Ohio States hospital part time. I honestly hope she gets into the residency program there. She has scheduled her boards for the first of June. Yes, if she does not want to work at the hospital where she is currently employed there better be a backup plan. There will be no vacation. Most everyone has said stay on your horse and keep riding. You can take a rest further down the trail. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

Your parental support and concern is something many of us never experienced.
My father paid for my education, I succeeded. I quickly realized .. nursing sucks.
My poppa said... "you're not liking this doll.... do something else.
So wish I would have listened to him, please accept my friend request,

I never experienced it either. My father had no interest in secondary education. I paid for my education with no ones help. I wish you would have listened also if that is really how you feel. You know I am one of nine children. Born to an alcoholic abusive father and a mother who let it happen. I had nothing. Literally nothing . I have had every crap job you could think of.But, you know what. No one cares. I made myself. You can do the same. I accepted your friend request. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I'm in Ohio and the job market is pretty good in my area.....especially for those who have a BSN. I was scheduled for my first interview less than 10 days after getting my license. I think she'll be just fine whether she takes time off or not.

Where in Ohio? You know the more I think about it the more I wonder if this is more about getting out of Ohio to see someplace else than it is about applying to the local hospitals. I told her to find a job in the area you graduated first then you can go wherever you want after that. Did you get the job ? Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

Your daughter is a grown up. She will be responsible for patients lives. She needs to start by taking control of her own. If she decides to take a break then it is her error to fix. You need to let go she is an adult.
I left home to go to uni at 17, graduated at 21 worked full time emigrated at 23 to the other side of the world. When I went home recently my dad and I got into the whiskey and were chatting. He said letting me go was the hardest thing that he ever did but that it was for the best as I turned into a resilient independent woman with goals in life. He said if he had done what was easier for him I would not of turned out how I did............

She understands if she takes a break it will be a detriment. I love the talking over whiskey. You might have the wrong impression from my original post. I can understand that. She is a resilient person. Believe me. She has turned out to be a great young woman. She has made most of her decisions in her life starting at 12. She decided her Mom's home environment was not what she wanted. She called my lawyer without my knowledge and asked what it would take to be able to live with me. I am not kidding. When my lawyer called me I was almost fell over but was also very proud she could do that at 12. It meant leaving her friends because I was in a different school system. She still did it. I am glad you turned out well and made your Dad proud. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

If there is a new grad residency available to her, she needs to take advantage of that opportunity, just as she took advantage of the opportunities you have given her thus far (I don't mean to imply that is a bad thing! It sounds wonderful!). However, many people take a vacation after finishing school. Two weeks, get refreshed, relax, get rejuvenated.

I hope she does just that. She has taken advantage of the opportunities she has been given. She has not screwed up and she tells me all the time how grateful she is. She takes me to a baseball game every year on my birthday. She can't afford it but she does it. She does what she can to show her appreciation. Mostly hand made sayings. Thank you for your post.

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I agree that a couple of weeks on the beach to recharge is great....and then she needs to be job hunting and studying HARD for her boards. I would be upfront, tell her that you spring for a week somewhere to celebrate, after which she needs to get it into gear. I, too, have adult children (in their thirties) and one of them had to be nudged out of the nest.....but survived and grew. I know I am an "old f@rt", but at 22 I was a college graduate, Army officer responsible for 32 lives and 4 million dollars of equipment, married, and newly pregnant. I am sure your gal will do great....but as everyone else has said, she is a grown up and it is time to earn her OWN keep!

There will be no vacation to the beach this year. Has she in the past? Absolutely. I was an Air Force officer. Where were you stationed? I baby sat missiles. Talk about stress. I was out after four years. You sound like a person who has it together? Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

you the lucky father of nursing student. your daughter will earn merits than money.Nursing can fulfill the satisfaction of life.it is great service than a job. congratulations you and your daughter . -Nursing tutor-Sri Lanka.

Thank you. Holy smokes. Sri - Lanka. the computer has made our world very small. You are a nursing tutor? Thank you