Father of a nursing student needs advice

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I graduated during a time of nursing surplus. I sent out letters and resumes to every hospital in my area. I was granted an interview about six weeks before graduation, and I had a job offer in hand before many of my classmates even started looking. A year after we graduated, several of them were still piecing together part-time and per diem jobs just to make it, while I had full-time employment. It would not have happened had I not taken the initiative.

You were smart. Good job. Determination goes along way in this life. Your classmates should have followed your lead. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

Sorry, she doesn't really get a break for at least another year or two.
Better for her to take the NCLEX, get her license, get her first job, and then buckle down through a year of said job,
THEN take a month or so off to backpack or whatever else post-college age folks do these days.
She'll most likely work at a facility with 12 hour shifts, so once she's off orientation, she can schedule herself accordingly to
get time off.

I agree. Stay where you are. Get a job and get in at least a year. After that you can go to grad school or whatever. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I felt the same way as your Daughter. I took a leave a absence from the hospital I worked at. (After confirming I had a job waiting for me when I got back) I worked part-time at the hospital while in school and my manager agreed to hired me after I graduated! I went to Costa Rica for 3 months for a language program through EF. My hospital loved the idea because none of the night shift spoke Spanish! So they were more than happy to hold my job. This was 8 yrs ago so I'm sure things have changed. But you never know what's possible till you ask! I came back...got back to work...studied my butt off and took my boards! Best choice I ever made! Instead of starting work burned out, I started refreshed and ready to tackle the world (in 2 languages)!

That is a great experience. Very happy your hospital supported you. How cool is it now that you speak two languages and have a job you like. Good job. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

As a nurse and a father who has two kids graduating from college this year, I would say let her have a little break. Nursing school is grueling on a good day and it is easy to get burned out. Let her have some time to decompress from all of the textbook preparation for nursing so she can get ready to learn the art and science of nursing. As anyone here will tell you, you really learn the craft at the bedside, not in the classroom. The classroom just gets you ready to start. She'll be fine dad, you'll see.

A nurse and a father. Well you have a good perspective. I know she needs a few weeks. But I am afraid that is all she should get. The program at Ohio State was indeed grueling. The fathers were invited to watch a football game with her sorority. I am sure you can guess what happened. She sat beside me studying the whole time. i think she said two words to me. lol I was disappointed but proud of her diligence when it came to studying. You are right. she will be fine. It's impossible not to worry as a parent. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

Just my two cents. I graduated high school at 18. I, too was burned out. I talked my parents into letting me take "just one year off from school". I ended up waiting eight years to go back. In that time, I had gotten married and had a child. I wish I would have gone to college straight out of high school. Things are so much harder once life happens. I also understand her wanting to talk a break after surviving nursing school. The choice is ultimately hers. Good luck in whatever she chooses.

You learned however and you did go back. Good for you. Life does happen. However almost all of it is in your control. At least I would like to think so. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

Have you asked her what she wants? What area is her main concern in Nursing? Many aspects of Nursing. Community Nurse, School Nurse, Geriatrics, traveling Nurse, ER,OR,etc. If she has a particular area, then just encouragement is all she needs.

I have asked her. Part of her wants to stay at ohio state and part of her wants to see another part of the country. She also wants to go to grad school. I will encourage her in whatever she decides. thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I find it curious that we parents of young adults, work so hard to make life easy for our children.
There are two mistakes to be made in the OP.
Dad, trying to coddle his grown daughter.
Daughter allowing it.
I hope keane68 updates us on whatever choices they make.

I suppose I can see where you might think that because of the original post. Coddle her? Hmm. Well if making sure she gets off to a good start in life is coddling I am guilty. However if you knew our relationship you would see she does not take to coddling. I was simply asking a question because I know nothing about nursing. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I was gonna say...my parents never paid a cent of my school, and would laugh at me if I ever suggested they pay for a vacation for me (nor would they ever offer one). I've had a job since I was 14 and have had to work to pay for everything on my own.

My parents never paid a cent of my school either. I did all myself. I have paid for one of her vacations. that was after she was accepted to the nursing program. She has been working since she was 16. Has she paid for everything on her own? No. My promise to myself when she was a baby was I would pay for her college. I saved my money and I fulfilled my promise. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I wonder why Dad never came back?

Dad is back. I am glad you missed me. I have a busy schedule but never too busy to respond to people who took the time to respond to me. Thank you

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

First of all, I want to say you are a wonderful father. You planned and were able to provide a way for your daughter to be able to go to college if that was what she wanted. Turns out, your thoughtful planning paid off because she chose nursing as her profession and will be able to graduate with no debt. All should be so lucky. But really, it was not luck, you were financially able to and choses to do this for your daughter. The second part truly is up to her. Again, you can suggest, advise, listen to her side, etc. but in the end she needs to decide what her path is. Just like she did in deciding to go to college and chose nursing as her path. And once again, you will need to decide which part and how much you are going to finance. Personally, I think together you both will work this out just fine. If life was really so black and white, yes or no, etc.

Thank you for your nice compliment. I appreciate it. She is very lucky to graduate debt free. I did not. That was my promise to her when she was born. I kept my promise. You seem a lot like me. I advise if she asks but honestly she hardly ever does. My financing is done after her bachelors degree. She will go further in her education but she will have to pay for those classes. Yes, life is not black and white. However I guess I am glad it is not. How boring huh? thank you

brandy1017, ASN, RN · Mar 28, 2014

Early spring is the best time to apply for a new grad residency program. I think the earlier she starts applying the more selection of job's she'll have. When I graduated many years ago we were told if we didn't have a job lined up by February we would have trouble getting a job. Because of my shyness and performance anxiety, I didn't apply till after I graduated. Luckily for me I was accepted because they just happened to have an opening because someone had just quit. But I would advise her to start her job search soon as this is the best time to secure a residency program following graduation. A residency program would be better than any job because they offer more education, training and guidance. They actively mentor the new grad RN's more than a plain job "opening" would! Her hospital job experience should help give her an edge. She should make up a focused resume highlighting her accomplishments, GPA, what internships or clinical specialties if any she has had and list her professors and clinical instructors as references. Include her current hospital work experience and any references from the supervisor and nurses she works with. Also write a cover letter explaining why she is applying for the particular job/specialty including why she went into nursing and her personal career aspirations re the particular job she is applying for. But I wouldn't mention if she wants to go on eventually for NP or management. Keep those plans to herself and just focus on the job at hand and gain the experience she needs no matter what her future career aspirations are!

She is very lucky to have such a caring and supportive father who enabled her to go to school without accruing student loan debt. It will give her more freedom, flexibility and the ability to follow her dreams unencumbored by the dreaded student loan debt. All these years later I'm still paying off!

Hopefully she is able to get the best of both worlds by getting a residency that doesn't start till after the NCLEX and then she will have time to relax and study for the exam before starting nursing. I was fortunate that I was able to do just that as the manager didn't require me to start till after I took the exam. I was even able to take a small vacation visiting family and swimming, but I spent that time reviewing for the board exam with supplemental material. There are many board review options available. She should avail herself of that to ensure the exam goes smoothly! What is wonderful is she will get the nclex results quickly, I had to wait for over a month or more and was currently already working. It was a two 8 hour affair with pencil and paper. I was fortunate I passed but a coworker who didn't had her job rescinded, while another grad had to work as a CNA till he passed. She will hopefully get the winning results before she has to actually work in a hospital. That will give her time to destress and relax and prepare for her future in nursing!

Keane68 · Mar 28, 2014

I'm gonna interrupt this lovefest for this helicoptering, snowplowing dad. (You know, the ones who hover and remove all obstacles.) Alert: Cold wet blanket incoming!

News flash: This "kid" is a twenty-two-year-old college graduate with a professional license. You have no responsibilities towards directing her career, and what you should do now is back off to let her decide what she wants to do, including deciding how she wants to research the job market, or not. If she fails, she will learn how to deal with failure in her life-- it's too bad if it's the first time, because it will be a shock to her tender sensibilities, but it's way past time she had the opportunity to learn how.

We all learn by failure, from the time we first try to crawl, walk, ride a bike, or pass geometry. We do our children no favors if we cushion them from reality and increasing personal responsibility. In our house, this started at about 9 months. "If you stand up in the bathtub, you're out." They would try it once or twice, scream bloody murder when they got lifted out and toweled, (because what kid doesn't love tubby time?) but then they got the concept of consequences for your actions. More opportunities followed. :)

When you were twenty-two, was your dad getting you a job, telling you how to live your life, and were you expecting him to do that, and fully accepting everything he said? If so, I guess that may be part of the problem.

My answer, based on my parenting two who developed quite successful careers and families on their own, is blunt. Butt out. Be there if she calls you for advice, but by now your answer should always be, "So, honey, what are you going to do about that?" Exceptions: if she seeks your opinion on something you have particular expertise in, unrelated to nursing. For example, my dad was an insurance man, and I sought and accepted his advice on malpractice, auto, and homeowner's insurance when these were new concepts to me. But I would have been astonished -- and offended-- if he had tried to tell me how to proceed in my career.

Well, she does not have a professional license yet. hopefully soon. She has failed many times and got back up. Her history is way more complicated than you can imagine.I love the bath story. I forgot about that happening as a child. When I was 22 my dad was dead from alcoholism and my mom was working two jobs to support my younger brothers and sisters. I was working in a salad factory paying my way through college. My daughter never really asks my advice. if she did I would say to her what you have said. I want her to proceed in her career in whichever direction she thinks will best suit her. Right now , maybe she isn't sure what that is. "Proud member of the Proud Father Society" Thank you