Father of a nursing student needs advice

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi

I feel a little like a fish out of water here. I have been following this site for some time. I do believe you call them lurkers. :) I have followed it because my daughter decided to go to nursing school and I thought this would be a good place to find out the real information about the profession. Well, it has been. Good and bad. I want to say to each and every one of you that you are amazing in your support and compassion to each member in this community. I need advice concerning my expectations as a parent of a nursing student. She will be graduating in May 2014 with a BSN from Ohio State. She will be 22 when she graduates. She has been a great kid. I have paid for her schooling. I did it by starting a savings fund when she was born. I am one of those parents who said your job is school even though she has held part time jobs. She works part time at Ohio State's hospital. My parental brain is now saying it is time to apply to jobs and apply for a residency and see if you can get it. I have talked to her and I feel like she is burned out from 17 straight years of schooling and may need a break. I guess I need some advice. Do I just back off ? Am I the only parent like this ? I know some of you must have children in college. I am not sure why part of me continually pushes. I hope it's because I want the best for her. I don't want to push her away. Thank you for reading and again you guys really are great. I hope each of you knows how fortunate you are to have a place to talk or just vent if you need it. Jim

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

Thank goodness, GrnTea! I was thinking maybe there was something wrong with me. I don't understand these parents who come to the board asking all kinds of questions about how to direct their child's education or career. Helicopter parenting is going to be the ruin of many young people.

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How fascinating all these different opinions on a simple post from a Dad. I am going to write a comment under each post because each of you took the time to answer me and I appreciate it. I asked what she wants to do and she is going to apply to the residency program at Ohio State. If she does not get in she will have backup plans. Thank you for the nice words.

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Ask her what she wants to do....

Kudos to you for being a supportive and encouraging parent. You are blessed she has been successful. I am sure no matter what she decides, she will not disappoint you.

How fascinating all these different opinions on a simple post from a Dad. I am going to write a comment under each post because each of you took the time to answer me and I appreciate it. I have not yet quite learned how to navigate this site. I asked her what she wants to do and she is going to apply to the residency program at Ohio State. If she does not get in she will have backup plans. Thank you for the nice words.

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Application times/dates for hospitals vary by area. Your daughter will want to check each hospital's/health system for their information and process.

Some hospitals will not allow an application until the license has been issued.

I would let her take the lead in this, though. While I'm an older new nurse, I work with several new nurses in your daughter's age group, and can assure you that if she's done this well up to now and has already secured a hospital job, that she's got it together and will make the right decision for her.

She has checked all the hospitals in the area. She is taking the lead. She needs to learn how to make it through these decisions on her own. Even if the decisions might not be the best. Thank you

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I just want to say that you seem like a very caring father. She could apply now, or once she passes the NCLEX. Keep in mind that when she gets work it will be very stressful, especially for the first year. I think she should take a nice vacation after the NCLEX is passed!

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I am sure you are quite proud.

Like you, my daughter is also now an adult.

Sometimes it is hard to let them make their own choices, but we must.

She is now an educated health professional and needs to discover her voice in that role.

I am certain that she respects your opinion and guidance and will ask for both in abundance when she needs them.

Good luck.

I am very proud thank you. It is hard to let them make their own decisions. It is hard to think of her as an educated professional but you are right. She actually does not ask my opinion very much. But, if she does I will do my best to help. Thank you

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If your daughter fails to take advantage of her new grad status, it will hurt her tremendously in future job search. Six months or a year later, she will be last year's old-new grad and there will be many other new-new grads with fresher skills.

My kids are roughly 10 years older than your daughter. Trust me, when they graduated, they looked for jobs ASAP. Of course we supported them in their search, but it is a college graduate's duty to make every effort to become self-supporting as soon as they can. Pampering your daughter will only harm her in the long run, especially emotionally.

I agree with you. And that is the type of guidance I was seeking. Sometimes you want to hear it from people are in the field. I will tell her what you have said and she has to make her own decision. Thanks

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Trust me when I say, the above comment is a TRUE statement! I am not a nurse yet but I was previously in the healthcare field, graduated from school and found a job through a temp agency. I then found full-time employment outside of the healthcare field and two years later I was considered an old-new grad. Biggest mistake I've ever made, because no Doctors wanted an old-new grad with a rusty skill set. I hope your daughter gets to read this. I wish I had fought harder and now I'm still fighting years later because of that mistake. I now have children myself and I tell them all the time stay with me until you finish college and gain employment so that you will be well set in this broken economy. Kudos to you for being there for your daughter and wanting whats best for her. She too will soon realize you only want the best for her.

She will read this along with the other comments. Thank you for sharing your story. It is her decision but I think this story will have an impact. She has been on her own through college. She never wanted to stay with me. i do think it has made her more mature to live away from me. Thanks

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If shes's about to graduate in May, then yes she should be looking now. I would say the best time to look is her senior yr fall semester because some residencies start taking applications in December. I think early fall is a good time to think about who she is going to ask for recommendations and then ask those teachers for them because they also may take a long time getting those out as well because they are very busy. Just keep in mind that she is an adult, she should be responsible for her own work search and if she needs to take time off that should be her decision, however, I took time off after getting my first degree and I actually regretted it because I ended up deciding to go into nursing and it set me behind a whole year for taking off a couple months. Also keep in mind that it could take a good 6 months to a year or more after her getting her license to get a job. Looking for a nursing job is very time consuming and a fullime job in itself so if it is not happening right away, have patience and do not pressure her to take the first thing that comes at her if it is not something she really wants.

Yes, she has to remember that job is not going to start as soon as she graduates. Honestly I do not think she has applied anywhere yet. She will find out it will be more difficult than she imagines. Again, a lesson she will learn the hard way if that is the path she chooses.Thanks

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She really should not wait. There is NO nursing shortage. It can take up to 18 months to find a position. She needs to take advantage of her new grad status or she will find it more difficult to find a position in a crowded market. She will no longer be considered a new grad but have no experience...a lethal combination in nursing right now.

She needs to pass her boards ASAP. However if she wants to rest a few weeks that's ok...but don't wait too long the boards are important and they need to be taken whole all of this is fresh in her mind. The job market is highly competitive right now and she needs to start looking for residencies that she can apply to....her school should be mentoring her on this.

She is 22 and as a parent we have the obligation to make those little pushes out of the nest so they can fly. My daughter is entering a 4 year program in the fall right out of high school as well. I am with you on this....((HUGS))

I have been a nurse for 35 years. while it hasn't always been an easy job..... it is one I have loved. Sure we complain and moan but many of us really don't want to do anything else. Our jobs as parents is to allow our, or make, children become the independent young adults they we born to be.

If there is one thing I have learned from this board it is that there is no nursing shortage. Period. She has already applied to take the NCLEX. I think she plans on taking it one month after she graduates. I hope your daughter all the best. I am sure she will do great. I am happy you have liked your career overall. I don't think you could ask for much more from a job. Thanks

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That she already works part time at Ohio State's hospital is a good thing. I would have her approach the manager of whatever floor she is on (or perhaps wants to be on) and have discussion about a position. If she is told that they do not hire new graduates, have her ask where they may in the faciity. Have her ask the manager what she needs to do to secure a position on the unit should she not be able to work there as a new grad.

Have her keep an eye on the internal job opportunities. This can also give her an "in" on what is available right where she is.

And finally, tread carefully. As the parent of college aged kids myself, they sometimes get a little "Oh Emmm Geeeee" when I make suggestions, even though I mean well and mean to assist their efforts. So make light "suggestions" as oppposed to issuing directions--that she can take as you making life choices for her (instead of "with" her). Learned that one the hard way--and was just trying to help. (and that I know best is TOTALLY beside the point HAHA KIDDING...or not.... :sarcastic:)

I told exactly this after I read your post. Let's see what happens. You know we do know better but we can not keep telling them that. She needs to fall on her face a few times in order to figure out she doesn't like her nose broke. Thanks

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No offense, OP, but that "I need some me time" line is a leisure of childhood. It doesn't typically work well in the adult world, especially in healthcare as previously noted.

I went from 17 years of schooling directly into the armed forces. There was no break, no matter how much I might have wanted one, and going from schooling directly into the work force didn't damage my psyche or bruise my tender feelings in the slightest. Trust me, there are worse things than work. Your daughter will survive this transition. Personally, after all that schooling, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I was eager to work as a nurse. If your daughter isn't, there may be another issue going on that you're not aware of.

What she's experiencing is simply life as an adult, and while you probably oughtn't force your daughter to buck up and do the mature thing at her age, you really ought to encourage her to do so as it will very definitely affect her employment opportunities in the future if she isn't at least applying for jobs immediately upon graduating.

No offense taken. You were lucky to get 17 straight years of schooling. As is my daughter. I had to work my way through college and did not graduate until I was 28. I am sure she is a little scared of the road ahead but I think all of us were at some time. She is eager to start her life but I think it is more a question of direction. As in stay at Ohio State or apply to different hospitals in another state. She will transition her way into independence whether it damages her psyche or not. That is the way it is. By the way. i joined the Air Force out of college. Baby sat missiles in Kansas. I am glad you like your profession. Thanks

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