Familyof7isUnsupportive...WhoDoITurnTo?

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i am 23 years old & will be starting nrsng school fa/08. i haven't told any1 i am leaving (except my mother) b/c i don't want to hear criticism, judgement, laughter (negative, like laughing at me), &doubt anymore. why is my family so unsupportive? i feel so lonely. i worked at a clinic as a cna & never have i had so much fun working somewhere. i work at a temp agency earning $11/hr & have $2000 in bank. here is a chart of my family.

age:occupancy

brothera (42yrs old):wantsmom to move in w/him &leave me the house along w/my father in it.obviously doesn't want me to finish school/have support from my mother.

sistera (40yrs old):housewife, wants me to get braces cost$5,000.don't exactly know how she feels, she'son vacation &maybe i'll talk to her when she gets back.

sisterb (39yrs old):hygenist, wants me to take a vacation to see her this summer costs $1,500. wants mom to move in w/her. yesterday i asked her how my bro is (she visited him) & she started to tell me how he's making $5,000 for outsite art projects! thanks sis for making me feel poor:)

brob (36yrs old):engineer,wants me to work at his job as a secretary & not go to school b/c he remembers the debt that he had to pay off &doesn't want me to go through that. when his children tell him that they want to be a doctor/chef, he is encouraging. my neice wants to be a dr. he doesn't discourage her.

broc (33yrs old):don't know occupation, but i know earns $27/hr. after i told him how much my education would cost, his response is like, "do you have to do that." "that" is nursing. it would've been nice to hear something like, "you'll find a way to do it," or something less negative.

brod (30yrs old): graphic artist. is probably the only 1 who supports my decision. i don't think that this is exactly what he agrees w/& that is ok b/c he backs me up &gave me this advice (2weeks ago). "you should do whatever you want to, it is your decision, listen to everyone who gives you advice/comments on your aspirations, but ultimaltly ignore what they say &make your decision." i guess it is hard to do that when 6other people tell you otherwise, but i am trying and it is going so slowly.

what do i do, who do i turn to? icried :crying2: this morning b/c it's like i feel alone. i mean i have coworkers who are excited for me and congradulate me, but what about my family - how can i have them be supportive, how?

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Good Morning,

I can't say that I understand because I am not in your shoes but I will tell you this. If you truly have a passion for being a Nurse I encourage you 100% to go for it no matter what other people say or DON'T say.

The worst thing you can do is not pursue something you feel in your heart is the best for you. You WILL regret it later. We all would love to have the support of our families and loved ones but sometimes it doesn't happen. You must find a way to encourage yourself and keep you eye on the prize. You will find encouragement from your other classmates and I am sure from other people in this forum.

Everytime you feel down and discouraged remember how you felt working as a CNA. Keep your chin up and go for it!

Good Luck

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I'm sorry that you don't have much family support, I know that has to be hard but take those feelings and turn them around. Make THAT your motivation, prove them all wrong. Sometimes our friends are our family, they provide what our family doesn't always provide. So focus on the support from your friends and coworkers. You can succeed, with or without your family's support. :heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat

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Specializes in Peri-op/Sub-Acute ANP.

You can't change who they are any more than you can change the way you feel about wanting to go to nursing. Hopefully, once you start and they can see that you are successful, they will be more inclined to support you but I wouldn't count on it. It would be great if everyone supported everything we do in life, but it just doesn't work out that way. Don't mean to sound harsh, but I think that if you wait for everyone to be on board with this you are going to be waiting a long time. Find people outside the family to support you if you have to, cut yourself off from negative people if you have to, but if this is truly your dream you will move forward with or without these people. That's just the way life is sometimes. Sad but true.

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Specializes in ER/Ortho.

You are an adult and I while it would be nice to have their support you do NOT need it. Did everyone you spoke off call and ask your premission before deciding what they would do? If they would have, and you had been negative about it would it have caused them to completly give up on their dream? Of course not!!! If you really want to be a nurse then you go be a nurse and when your family see's your success, and happiness they will jump on board....if not you are successful, and happy so who cares.

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You have to listen to yourself. Believe in yourself!! Tell your family that this is what you decided and if they do not have anything positive to say to keep their thoughts to themselves. My sister is a nurse and a very good one but she has had a lot of stress in her job. In the past she would always discourage me from nursing and I have to say that I listened to her. When she first started out she would never even take time to eat lunch or have breaks. She worked in a hospital in Florida and was very overworked. She always wants to give her patients the best care. She now works in a Virginia hospital and is usually a charge nurse. She loves it at her current hospital but I think she found each hospital is different.

I would have probably committed sooner to my plan to become a nurse if I had her encouragement all along. I am very close to my sisters so their opinion matters to me. I finally decided to do what was best for myself and my family. I told my sister to stop telling me the negative and to support my decision. She has 100%. She even is motivated to go on herself now to get her BSN. Don't waste time and then 10 years from now pursue your dream. Start your life now. Good Luck!!

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Student179, You have it in you to do this and succeed. You got into a nursing program and that is no small feat. Lots of people apply and don't get in. Let me just tell you also that once you are in nursing school you will make wonderful friends who all want you to succeed. They are a valuable source of support and I know I have made some lifelong friendships. Take care and good luck.

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At the end of the day, what you want to do is about you; you're the one who will live with the regret if you don't at least TRY this, not them - and you're the one who will live with the success when you SUCCEED.

GO FOR IT!! Don't let these folks hold you back and keep listening to your 30 year old brother; he sounds like a very smart guy!

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:DHi there! I am new here and I am in exactly the same situation! I just turned 40 and have spent the last 21 years of my life raising my children, working jobs that never satisfy financially or emotionally, and basically being miserable because all I have ever wanted to do is be a nurse! My family tells me I won't have any time for them if I go to nursing school, we can't afford it, blah..blah..blah!! But you know what? I'm taking my entrance exam next week and I am applying for student aid and scholarships to help pay for school! I know if I let others influence my dreams, I will never do what I know I was called to do...and that is to be a nurse! Please don't let unsupportive people get you down.....you can find plenty of it here from others who are going through the same thing!! If you want this, go for it!!!
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Specializes in Hospice.
:DHi there! I am new here and I am in exactly the same situation! I just turned 40 and have spent the last 21 years of my life raising my children, working jobs that never satisfy financially or emotionally, and basically being miserable because all I have ever wanted to do is be a nurse! My family tells me I won't have any time for them if I go to nursing school, we can't afford it, blah..blah..blah!! But you know what? I'm taking my entrance exam next week and I am applying for student aid and scholarships to help pay for school! I know if I let others influence my dreams, I will never do what I know I was called to do...and that is to be a nurse! Please don't let unsupportive people get you down.....you can find plenty of it here from others who are going through the same thing!! If you want this, go for it!!!

Amen!!!! I also was raising my kids, w/ no inkling that I could actually pursue my dreams. That is until my ex and I got divorced. I met and amazing men who reminded me I can be whatever I want. Now that is not to say this amazing man helps much with the housework when I have to study a zillion things or that the kids do their chores to help me out! Even my Mom who is 48 and I think feels her life didn't end up how she wanted actually told me it would be impossible for me to go to school.

Well guess what I am going to school and I will get into my program if it kills me! I may owe a ton of money to the government, but that is fine because I will be a Nurse one day. Dooing what I have ALWAYS wanted to do.

Just like someone previously said, you will get support from the people around you at school. Your friends, professors even advisors. Just do what you think is best for your future........because it is yours not anyone else's!

Good luck!

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Just follow your dream. I think the greatest barriers we put up are often self erected. At 23 you are old enough to make your own decisions. One of the things that I have done as a parent is to always encourage my daughters to go to school and follow their passions. You can very easily double your income as a nurse. The question is "would you be happy if you didn't follow your dream?" From the tone of your post I think you would be miserable if you stay put. Life is about growth and movement. Once you start to bloom in nursing school your family will see that you made the decisions for the right reasons. Best of luck!

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Unfortunately the people that are supposed to support us the most are sometimes the ones that can't give us what we need. Goodluck and keep your head up!!! You'll get it :)

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