Family not supportive

Irish_Mist, BSN, RN · Nov 20, 2013

My only barrier is finishing these dang prerequisites. I am finishing an unrelated bachelors degree next month. I am taking four classes: A&P1, Texas Government, Spanish, and Marriage & Family. I can't wait to be done with this degree so I can concentrate 100% on nursing school prerequisites. My other concern is paying for nursing school but that's a totally different subject.

I don't know what your mom or sister have said. Perhaps they're giving you constructive feedback and you're taking it the wrong way? I don't know the details. If you want to be a nurse, no one can stop you from pursuing it. It is your life, your dreams, your desires. Don't let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do.

__patiently_waiting · Nov 20, 2013

I think everyone has had to overcome a few barriers while going through school to pursue nursing. I know I have (although I'm still taking pre-reqs). Honestly, the best advice I can give is do what's best for YOU. You already have experience in the medical field so it's obvious you have some interest in it. Pursue your dreams. Don't worry about pleasing everyone else because at the end of the day it's your life that you have to live.

CDEWannaBe · Nov 20, 2013

Are your mom and sister supportive of you overall?

If they are always cutting you down, then ignore them and prove them wrong.

But if they are usually supportive, you need to hear what they are saying. Ask them for specific reasons why they think you'd struggle in nursing and then try to correct those weaknesses.

The only way to know if you have what it takes is to check into nursing programs (especially the CNA to RN bridge programs) and start taking the prerequsite classes.

pmabraham, BSN, RN · Nov 20, 2013

Good day:

Unfortunately there will always be negative talk from some direction or another; it does hurt more coming from those you love. Stay the course if nursing is your dream. As hard as it can be with those close to you, ignore the negative talk, redirect conversations, stay the course.

Thank you.

Jmira.BSN.RN · Nov 22, 2013

Yes I had a very unsupportive family during nursing school. When I failed a term early on it was an I told you so moment for them. I heard the words "I figured that would happen" straight out of my dad's mouth. I dusted myself off and got right back up and excelled the rest of the program once I re-entered. Didn't matter if they knew I had to be up at 3:30 am to make it to clinicals on time, they had the tv blasting til midnight. My parents did help watch my daughter while I was at school/clinicals but on the weekends she sat at Starbucks right across from me with books, activities, snacks etcetera. Some days 8 hours straight. In their defense, I do not come from an educated family. Education, especially for a single-mother, is simply not important in their eyes, just the way it is.

My best friend became very unsupportive & downright nasty as well. I cut her off about halfway through the program.

But funny thing happened, others did become amazingly supportive! My daughter's dad worked extra hours so that he could pay all of my bills for the last year of the program and I was able to quit work to focus 100% at school. A decent friend that I had become somewhat distanced with ended up being very motivating and encouraging. I would always vent about school/hw/clinicals and she always listened and cared. She would remember all of my test days and send me reminders in the mornings to encourage me.

These were the people I most wanted to see me get pinned!

There will always be people who won't support your dreams. It's up to you to achieve them. Don't let anyone's negativity get you off track, focus on you and the ones who do truly want you to succeed

ER_RNdreams · Nov 23, 2013

Are your mom and sister supportive of you overall? If they are always cutting you down then ignore them and prove them wrong. But if they are usually supportive, you need to hear what they are saying. Ask them for specific reasons why they think you'd struggle in nursing and then try to correct those weaknesses. The only way to know if you have what it takes is to check into nursing programs (especially the CNA to RN bridge programs) and start taking the prerequsite classes.[/quote']
I plan on doing the ASN program. We don't have CNA to RN programs here. They don't think that I'm smart enough, which is frustrating. I plan to just show them wrong, even if that means not having their support for a few years. If necessary, I will live on campus for a while. I'm going to do it regardless of what they think. Also my mom and sister don't love what they do so they don't want anyone else being as miserable as they are. I don't know what goes through their heads.

ER_RNdreams · Nov 23, 2013

Thanks so much everyone. I'm just accepting that not everyone will be supportive of my life choices. Right now my mom doesn't even want me to take classes in January. It's not like my career aspirations are to become a prostitute and sell my body and drugs. It's NURSING and if they can't accept it, they can be absent for my success.

MrsComboCurlz, ASN, BSN, RN · Nov 23, 2013

Yes I had a very unsupportive family during nursing school. When I failed a term early on it was an I told you so moment for them. I heard the words "I figured that would happen" straight out of my dad's mouth. I dusted myself off and got right back up and excelled the rest of the program once I re-entered. Didn't matter if they knew I had to be up at 3:30 am to make it to clinicals on time, they had the tv blasting til midnight. My parents did help watch my daughter while I was at school/clinicals but on the weekends she sat at Starbucks right across from me with books, activities, snacks etcetera. Some days 8 hours straight. In their defense, I do not come from an educated family. Education, especially for a single-mother, is simply not important in their eyes, just the way it is.
My best friend became very unsupportive & downright nasty as well. I cut her off about halfway through the program.
But funny thing happened, others did become amazingly supportive! My daughter's dad worked extra hours so that he could pay all of my bills for the last year of the program and I was able to quit work to focus 100% at school. A decent friend that I had become somewhat distanced with ended up being very motivating and encouraging. I would always vent about school/hw/clinicals and she always listened and cared. She would remember all of my test days and send me reminders in the mornings to encourage me.
These were the people I most wanted to see me get pinned!
There will always be people who won't support your dreams. It's up to you to achieve them. Don't let anyone's negativity get you off track, focus on you and the ones who do truly want you to succeed

What a testimony of perseverance and determination (JMiraRN). Truly warmed my soul. I'm even taking this story for myself that "I CAN" do it, no matter the obstacle. Thank God I have a supportive family...saddens me that the ones that are suppose to love and encourage you DON'T. Im certain this thread will encourage those who are breaking down. You don't have the problem, they do. And the OP is right...she's not selling drugs and prostituting! You don't owe them anything...all of God's blessings to you on your journey (ER_RNDreams) and whom ever may be going through this in their lives, keep us updated...

Dranger · Nov 23, 2013

Are your mom and sister supportive of you overall?
If they are always cutting you down, then ignore them and prove them wrong.
But if they are usually supportive, you need to hear what they are saying. Ask them for specific reasons why they think you'd struggle in nursing and then try to correct those weaknesses.
The only way to know if you have what it takes is to check into nursing programs (especially the CNA to RN bridge programs) and start taking the prerequsite classes.

I have never heard of a CNA to RN bridge program, you mean LPN?

SageFemmeReveur · Nov 24, 2013

I'm 26 and have been out on my own since I was 18 with almost zero interaction with any family. The only support I get is from my boyfriend of 5 years. I'm actually afraid to tell anyone in my family that I'm trying to go to nursing school. I know they are gonna be negative and roll their eyes. I definitely have several other barriers to overcome that are too embarrassing to share publicly but I'm more than happy to chat privately and share or if you need support/to vent. Back to my point here, I know I can do this. I also know that if someone *really* wants to do something they will do it. If this is what you want then you will do it too. The ideal situation would be to move out because that negativity will wear on you and that can affect your grades/focus/comprehension/energy. I know it is so hurtful to not have a family rallying around you but it is out of your control so all you can do is choose to focus on your choice and create the life you want to live.

akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P · Nov 24, 2013

I plan on doing the ASN program. We don't have CNA to RN programs here. They don't think that I'm smart enough, which is frustrating. I plan to just show them wrong, even if that means not having their support for a few years. If necessary, I will live on campus for a while. I'm going to do it regardless of what they think. Also my mom and sister don't love what they do so they don't want anyone else being as miserable as they are. I don't know what goes through their heads.

I think what you have written is probably exactly what is going on through their heads. Your mom and your sister are nurses and they do not love what they do, so they will probably think they are trying to protect you by discouraging you from going into the profession. I think only you can determine what your future should be and I think that if you have set your goal to be a nurse, you should pursue that and run that all the way to the end so that you know that you have either gotten a job on your own, using your own faculties, or you have clearly proven that you are unable to do it. Either way you will find out for yourself what you are capable of, and that will be without their help entirely.

That's the main thing right there. You need to discover for yourself what you are capable of. Don't let anyone else tell you what you're capable of, or not capable of, you need to find out for yourself, otherwise you'll never know. I don't think anyone is saying that nursing is easy... and you'll find that out too, but whether it becomes one of those "toughest job you'll ever love" things or "I'll never do that ever again..." things, you'll know for yourself what is right for you.

In the process of getting the general education and prerequisites done for a degree, you could also find that another kind of job has a calling for you as well. Whatever you choose, look for what calls you to do, and do it to the best of your ability. There's a reason work is a 4 letter word. If you do a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life, no matter how demanding the job is. That's the kind of job where you go to bed and wake up in the morning looking forward to going the job.