Family not supportive

emmjayy, BSN, RN · Jun 1, 2015

I plan on doing the ASN program. We don't have CNA to RN programs here. They don't think that I'm smart enough, which is frustrating. I plan to just show them wrong, even if that means not having their support for a few years. If necessary, I will live on campus for a while. I'm going to do it regardless of what they think. Also my mom and sister don't love what they do so they don't want anyone else being as miserable as they are. I don't know what goes through their heads.

You certainly seem motivated, and the way that you present yourself (your typing, sentence structure, etc.) indicates that you are definitely not an imbecile. It sounds like you need to make a game plan - research schools, talk to some admissions counselors, look into financing options - and then just go for it! You can do this :)

Cakelady1 · Jun 1, 2015

My family is pretty supportive. They have to be because I can be scary when you double cross me, haha. My husband asked once, when I asked him to pick up our son from his track meet because I had to be on campus early to meet with financial aid; if I was sure I could handle all of this. I gave him such a look of death that he has not since dared questioned my abilities again. I put him through his Master's program years ago. I worked full time, was pregnant, took care of the kids, and was basically a single mom for those 2 years. It's my turn.

My point? It's your life. It's YOUR undertaking, not theirs. If you feel you can handle it, if you feel you can do it, screw 'em. Take control of your own future.

GageMicheal · Jun 3, 2015

I'm overcoming my pre-req's as well and this darn ACT! Keep your head up and don't let anyone push you away from your goals. Just remember your haters are your motivators, you got this!

amyleigh76 · Jun 26, 2016

I realize this is an old page, but like another girl here...I just need to vent. I have one semester left of nursing school (ADN at least) and I get nothing but hassle and ******** from hubby about me sitting at my desk all the time, not participating in family events, and generally being antisocial. He says his family questions my motives because I don't work anymore and think I will just leave once I am done with school. That thought never crossed my mind, but with so much attitude and bs that I have to hear all the time...its made me wonder. Every semester I wonder if I will have a place to live by the end of the sem and sometimes the end of the week depending on how bad it is. As if nursing school isn't hard enough, the added stress of this is so overwhelming I cant breathe sometimes. None of my classmates seem to be going through such crap. I get told that school is more important than anything else, even family. And it doesn't seem to matter to anyone that in 6-7 months I will be (hopefully) working as an RN and contributing to our family and future once again. This has made me want to quit on several occasions, but I am not a quitter. I have not come this far to give in and give up. I have maintained a high GPA throughout and they all tell me that I could study less and spend more time with them, and my response is that my future job will literally involve life and death...as they sit behind desks. My grades are important to me, especially as I move forward into BSN and higher at some point, yet they don't get it. Honestly, I cant see that changing once I'm working either. They wont get that I have to take the crappy shifts, work nights, weekends, and holidays for a few years until I can move on to what I want to do. Anyway....so sorry to just rant on, but I have no one to talk to, no one to cry on, no one...period. I cannot wait till the end of school. I know they say its the most rewarding thing if you get out of school, but for me not only has it been the hardest thing I have ever done....but the most miserable as well.

RainMom · Jun 27, 2016

I realize this is an old page, but like another girl here...I just need to vent. I have one semester left of nursing school (ADN at least) and I get nothing but hassle and ******** from hubby about me sitting at my desk all the time, not participating in family events, and generally being antisocial. He says his family questions my motives because I don't work anymore and think I will just leave once I am done with school. That thought never crossed my mind, but with so much attitude and bs that I have to hear all the time...its made me wonder. Every semester I wonder if I will have a place to live by the end of the sem and sometimes the end of the week depending on how bad it is. As if nursing school isn't hard enough, the added stress of this is so overwhelming I cant breathe sometimes. None of my classmates seem to be going through such crap. I get told that school is more important than anything else, even family. And it doesn't seem to matter to anyone that in 6-7 months I will be (hopefully) working as an RN and contributing to our family and future once again. This has made me want to quit on several occasions, but I am not a quitter. I have not come this far to give in and give up. I have maintained a high GPA throughout and they all tell me that I could study less and spend more time with them, and my response is that my future job will literally involve life and death...as they sit behind desks. My grades are important to me, especially as I move forward into BSN and higher at some point, yet they don't get it. Honestly, I cant see that changing once I'm working either. They wont get that I have to take the crappy shifts, work nights, weekends, and holidays for a few years until I can move on to what I want to do. Anyway....so sorry to just rant on, but I have no one to talk to, no one to cry on, no one...period. I cannot wait till the end of school. I know they say its the most rewarding thing if you get out of school, but for me not only has it been the hardest thing I have ever done....but the most miserable as well.

I am so sorry you aren't getting the support you need but don't give up! You are so close!

Your hubby probably is just feeling insecure & fearful. Has he been the breadwinner thus far? If so, he may be seeing your new career as a threat, so to speak. You likely won't "need" him anymore financially.

My hubby was a little that way. I signed up for classes without telling him first because every time I broached the subject, he would go on & on about how we couldn't afford it, I wouldn't be able to handle being a nurse, I wouldn't be able to juggle work, school & kids, blah, blah, blah. He was also absolutely convinced that when I started working, that I would leave him for a doctor. It took a while for him to realize that was not the case.

No one can tell you what's best for your situation. I'd suggest a serious heart to heart. Can you agree on designated time for study & designated family time? During nursing school, I think it's common for a significant other to feel neglected, & we get so focused on school we don't see it (there were 3 divorces in my class). However, if he can't see that what you're doing is not just for you, but for BOTH of you...well...

Wishing you the best. Good luck finishing up this last semester! And you can always come vent on AN!

Zombienurse76 · Jun 27, 2016

You're right...he has been our only source of income for 3 years now. He was super supportive at first! Unlike your hubby, he suggested I quit my job since we could afford it, and go to school to do what is always wanted to. But even in the first semester..he threatened to leave. It just gets old that no one understands the time commitment to this degree or profession. We've talked about this but to no avail. At this point I figure my marriage might very well be a nursing school statistic unfortunately. I hope not. And I do try to have certain hours of study and then family time, but there's always exams that require more study time, or mounds of clinical paperwork. You know the drill!!

Thank you for your response...it's nice to talk to someone who gets it. I have a sister who's a nurse too, but she's always too busy to talk (she's raising her granddaughter and works full time). Anyway...it's just good to chat with someone who doesn't condemn me for being in school and caring about my grades.

Thanks again!!