Family Only? Gay Patients.

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Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.

In our ICU we only allow family in to the visit patients, except when the patient is able to make their wish known that they want others to be allowed to visit (rare in our unit, I haven't taken care of a patient that could talk since July). Family is defined by our patients so if a gay person defines their partner as their family then they are family are far as our unit is concerned. In cases where the patient isn't able to make their wishes known the nurse can use their judgment.

I recently took care of a gay patient who was intubated and sedated after a bad motorcycle crash. I and the other nurses had been allowing his partner to visit him. To be honest we never thought much about it as it seemed natural that he should be allowed in. About 3 days after the crash the patients parents arrived from Africa where they are missionaries. They were outraged that we had been allowing the same sex partner in to visit and insisted that we no longer allow his partner to visit.

In my heart I feel that if this patient were able to make his wishes known he would want his partner to visit him. However his parents are, under Wisconsin law, his next of kin and making decisions for him.

Luckily for us a Catholic priest who serves as our chaplain (I work in a catholic hospital) intervened and an arrangement was made that the parents would visit by day and the partner by night. The parents didn't like this much but when faced with the nursing staffs refusal to prohibit the partner from seeing the patient they relented.

How do other units in other hospitals deal with situations like this?

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Outstanding for you and your fellow nursing staff to be so empathetic towards your patient and his partner. You all did a great thing!

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i deal with it the exact same way you did...

by advocating for the rights of your pt.

the nurses allowed their ethics to guide them through the process.

it's not a matter of using the same intervention in ea situation.

but when you know something is wrong, you do everything possible to make it right.

you did awesome. :balloons:

leslie

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In a sounds like the situation was handled in the best way possible. Bravo for the good judgement of the chaplain. I have seen this situation involving common law wives who have no legal power to make decisions.

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Specializes in icu, er, transplant, case management, ps.
In our ICU we only allow family in to the visit patients, except when the patient is able to make their wish known that they want others to be allowed to visit (rare in our unit, I haven't taken care of a patient that could talk since July). Family is defined by our patients so if a gay person defines their partner as their family then they are family are far as our unit is concerned. In cases where the patient isn't able to make their wishes known the nurse can use their judgment.

I recently took care of a gay patient who was intubated and sedated after a bad motorcycle crash. I and the other nurses had been allowing his partner to visit him. To be honest we never thought much about it as it seemed natural that he should be allowed in. About 3 days after the crash the patients parents arrived from Africa where they are missionaries. They were outraged that we had been allowing the same sex partner in to visit and insisted that we no longer allow his partner to visit.

In my heart I feel that if this patient were able to make his wishes known he would want his partner to visit him. However his parents are, under Wisconsin law, his next of kin and making decisions for him.

Luckily for us a Catholic priest who serves as our chaplain (I work in a catholic hospital) intervened and an arrangement was made that the parents would visit by day and the partner by night. The parents didn't like this much but when faced with the nursing staffs refusal to prohibit the partner from seeing the patient they relented.

How do other units in other hospitals deal with situations like this?

Good for the nurses and the Catholic Priest. I would like to say that I am surprised at the parents attitude but I am not. Too many times families fail to accept the homosexuality of their child. And frequently deny the partner visitation. And all too many times the hospitals and nurses just go along with the family's wishes.

Thank you for posting about your experience. I hope it opens some eyes.

Woody:balloons:

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Specializes in ICU, ER, EP,.

we unfortunately see this with ex-spouses, girlfriends, crazy adult children..on and on. We handle it as you did with specific visitation. By law, the next of kin decides upon treatment options, by good nursing judgment we consider what the patient would have wanted towards visitation. You did GREAT! excellent advocacy.

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I would just like to say that I really enjoyed this post and that my heart-felt thank you goes out to you for advocating for your patient. As a family member of a gay man, all too often I see and hear the questions, the silent judgement and what not. (No, I will not be getting on my soap box...LOL!) And in my opinion, family members and significant other's present are paramount to recovery, regardless of our opinions on the "normalcy" of the situation. You did the right thing. :yeah:

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Specializes in Pulmonology/Critical Care, Internal Med.

As a gay, almost nurse, I applaud you. You most certainly did the right thing. If I was ever hospitalized I would want my husband there, even more so than my parents. However, as they say, nothing can replace a gay mans mother. :)

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Specializes in Jack of all trades, and still learning.
Outstanding for you and your fellow nursing staff to be so empathetic towards your patient and his partner. You all did a great thing!

couldn't have said it better myself!

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I just wanted to say that your post warmed my heart. It is nice to know there are nurses like you that would stand up for your pt. You did a great job!!

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

A good example of an archaic visiting policy. Gay people aren't the only patients that might be alienated from their parents and have other relationships that are much more important. I think your hospital needs to review it's policies in light of the social realities of our times.

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Specializes in OB.

Good for all of your staff who stood up for this!

I think this points out the necessity for everyone, especially until the laws of our land become more enlightened, to make sure you have directives outlining exactly who should be making decisions for you if incapacitated.

I saw the very sad example of a young boy, whose mother died suddenly, pulled away from the only other parent he had ever known and sent to live with a biological father he had never met, because his mother's partner had no legal standing in the matter of custody. Heartbreaking!

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