Family member issue......

Published

Okay so here goes..... I work for a multicare facility and I float, a couple of days ago I had a relatively tough assignment; myself to 12 residents, half of which were self care and the other half was split between total care and assist x2. Anyways one resident in particular had me a bit puzzled or rather her daughter who is "involved" in her care. Her personal belongings are arranged in her drawers in outfits that are labelled with the days of the week and wrapped in plastic bags and the aides are instructed/warned not to dress her mom in any outfit other than the one that is labelled for the day. Now this resident had an accident on this day and since we are to follow this rule she was dressed in a gown and put back to bed in the middle of the day per the nurses orders. This resident is semi alert and sometimes has no clue what is going on and this day she was visibly upset and I felt very bad about this:cry:. I questioned the nurse about this and she told me that the residents daughter gets angry if her wishes are not followed. I debated :argue: this situation with the nurse and in the end it was basically "get over it that is what the family wants". I understand about wanting to be involved but at what point does it stop becoming care and becomes control?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

That's just wrong. I don't understand why some nurses don't stand up for the residents. Why, they let family members make decisions that are not in the best interest of the resident. I would have put her in the outfit for the next day. What are they going to do? Write you up for dressing the resident.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

It is a skill you learn - not to take things personal. The problem is not about you. The daughter could make a Accident - clothing change bag as well, but of coorifice in reflection having know such famility members there is the strong possibility that such a suggestion would explode in a mine field. Sometimes it is best just to let family members figure out their own problems rather than make a suggestion to them that could fuel thier fire. Part of the occupational hazard. Just keep things simple. :cool:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, Home Health.

Try not to let it get to you. Some of the things my LTC let the family members get away with is astonishing. You can't take it home with you. Sometimes the "Family Requests" are a bit far fetched. Unfortunately, sometimes they are not far fetched enough that something will be done. Many times, the demands are enough to drive everyone else that has to deal with them crazy!:banghead: I know. It sucks when it affects the resident in a negative way. It may be a bit of OCD and ignorance on her daughters part. Since the daugther isn't there with her mom all day, she has no clue what kind of accidents may occur, nor does she know how her mom feels when she's laying around in a gown all day while her peers are wearing clothes. There's nothing like a hospital gown to remind you where you are!

It's sad to hear your Nurses aren't very proactive with things like this. There should be some kind of balance. I would suggest that someone mention to the daugther that it would be a good idea to bring extra clothes in case she should have an accident. Someone should let her know how her mom feels when things like this happen. Maybe she could bring in extra house dresses or gowns. It's worth a shot. Where I work, it wasn't uncommon for the CNA's to nicely mention these things to the family members. However, the nurse were aware and prepared to back you up if your request goes ignored. Is there a unit manager you could discuss this with? I would give it a shot.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in assisted living & memory care.

I agree, i would just ask the daughter to bring in an extra couple of outfits, or just some sweats in case it happens again.I supose you could of put that new outfit on, then washed it later on and she could of worn it again the next day. :) just my thoughts.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I agree the daughter should be asked about bringing in extra outfits in case of an accident. I know family members can drive staff crazy but I always tried to remember at least they're here and doing something for their family member. I would take an over involved one to the dozens that get left without family attention any day.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I think one of the charge nurses should ask the family to bring in two sets of "emergency changes" for their mom. Easiest way to deal with this. Surprised nobody has done this already.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you guys for your responses, part of my debate with my nurse was that maybe the daughter could maybe pack an extra set of clothes and I kinda got the dumfounded-why bother-look. I dont know. Today I kindly suggested to our CN for the unit that maybe this issue could be brought up to the daughter, but as texastar stated that maybe I might be walking into a mine feild. Well at least I gave it a shot and I kinda got the feeling that maybe others have in the past, judging from the response I got from the CN.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OR.

Well the situation was solved because she was put in a gown and kept clean emergency / extra pair of clothes should be set aside. And just for further reference be extra vigilant with her toileting so a accident doesn't happen again.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, Home Health.
Well the situation was solved because she was put in a gown and kept clean emergency / extra pair of clothes should be set aside. And just for further reference be extra vigilant with her toileting so a accident doesn't happen again.

I agree with you, in regards to toileting. I agree that she should be toileted as often as possible. However, working in an LTC, I understand that sometimes you can't get to a resident quick enough-especially when you have many others. Every two hours isn't often enough for some folks. I had a resident, where if you didn't catch her every hour on the nose, there was a big mess to clean. Lets face it, sometimes you can't get back to that room every hour. I think the issue here is not the fact that the problem wasn't solved. It's a dignity and respect issue. Why is this resident wearing hospital gowns when she has clothes? Clearly is affects her because she is upset. For this reason alone, I feel someone should make the daughter aware of how mom is feeling. I would want to know if it were my family.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

This is were the land mines start about incognent patients. All patients are different and of coorifice - while each patient "Should Be" checked regular - meticulous (SP?) family members can easily go into the direction that Their loved one is not being properly attended ot. I do know that when CNAs have the same patients regular and there is good communication accidents/prime time for BM and so forth are known. I would still be very cautious about addressing this to the daughter because while you have more than one patient to attend to - One of Thoose Days even when you have do your best - there may be one patient that has A Big Episode be it the flue or whatever and you just may not be available to the other patient when they do the U/BM blow. There are so many different types of senerios and the bottom line is - all patients even with the best care and are in facilites with low patient ratios - these things happen/it happens with one on one care in Home Health also. A social worker may be needed for the daughter - otherwise keep the distance on this issue because it can blow up in your face with all well meaning attempts made on your part if you don't let the staff and higher up deal with the daughter.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Home Health, PDN, LTC, subacute.

In our facility social work handled all clothing requests for the resident. It's worth a shot.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion