Families from Hell

GrnHonu99, RN · Nov 20, 2007

I sure miss working the night shift. I am so tired of families and their verbal abuse. My problem is that the nurses in my area of the world are too smart. All of the night shift positions are already filled. The only openings are for days and evenings. Anyway, I can always hope that a night nurse will move elsewhere and then I can try again for nights.

sadly, even us night shifters get our fair share of family drama. Dont get me wrong, sometimes its a blessing when you have a confused pt. but more often than not its a hassle. I will tolerate annoying family memebers only if they are beneficial to the pt. I am NOT a waitress, i do not take orders to accom. family. I try to practice family centered care but the minute it gets out of hand they have to go.

Ms Kylee · Nov 20, 2007

*Really wishes 2-4 and 7-9 visiting hours were brought back and observed. *

GrnHonu99, RN · Nov 20, 2007

I occasionally work overtime night shifts at my workplace (10pm to 6am), and some family members have the audacity to stay in the room all night to ensure that the patient is being cared for. They'll even keep a tablet or legal pad, and jot down when the nurse or aide enters the room.
Other family members boldly ignore the established visiting hours, and will straggle into the facility at 1am. Night shift is a good thing when your workplace actually gives nurses the authority to enforce the visiting hours. However, the managers at my facility tend to coddle to visitors and allow them to get away with anything.

oh the families in my unit do all the time, stay over night that is...i have seen them writing down things on tablets too! I work in an ICU and I say its ridiculous..i make the effort but i grumble all the way....

MAISY, RN-ER, BSN, RN · Nov 20, 2007

I occasionally work overtime night shifts at my workplace (10pm to 6am), and some family members have the audacity to stay in the room all night to ensure that the patient is being cared for. They'll even keep a tablet or legal pad, and jot down when the nurse or aide enters the room.
Other family members boldly ignore the established visiting hours, and will straggle into the facility at 1am. Night shift is a good thing when your workplace actually gives nurses the authority to enforce the visiting hours. However, the managers at my facility tend to coddle to visitors and allow them to get away with anything.

I love those families who have the legal pad, NOT!!! Usually if someone is in the room for the night I will ask what they will be doing for the patient, put the entire onus on them to come and get me if I am needed, and am happy to use ancillary staff to visit. Usually, they will say they don't want to be disturbed. Any family responses are fully documented in my nurses notes. I do what is necessary regardless of attitude and complete my orders whether someone is there or not. I am always happy to let them know, care is the same whether they are there or not. *I do inform charge and patient rep of the pad people, so they can kiss bu**!

It's a shame when managment backs down from their own rules. I have been known to make families leave if they are difficult-on their own or with security. ER is open 24/7 and families have no specific rules, however, if I deem family is disruptive, overbearing, not allowing patient to rest, or just driving me crazy (and all other attempts have failed) OUT THEY GO! Usually the patient is happy, very few patients want their families making trouble-always end up stressed out, and apologizing for them. Totally unnecessary when a patient needs all their strength to get well.

Anyway, I think instead of hospitals kissing bu**...we should be educating the public on proper behaviour, what is and is not acceptable, and asking people to think of where they are and their surroundings before being the pushy little brats that many have become! Education regarding acuity, and what to expect when they visit an ER would also be appropriate. I'd love to see videos running like Why do I have to wait with my earache and the guy with cp comes through? or Why is a patient taking up space so long for abdominal pain, what's involved with that workup? or.......etc..etc...

I truly believe if patients had a clue, most of them would have different attitudes. Of course, there will always be those who are difficult. But maybe they'd be in the very small minority.

Maisy;)

1993RNGrad · Nov 20, 2007

lol..and people look at me so oddly when I say I LIKE working nights.
I prefer the business of days...but prefer little/no family around.

Wish that were the case here - we have no visiting hours - family can stay 24/7 and they even have a couch that turns into a bed so that they can be comfortable. We have family walking around in pj's, without shoes and yes, we have seen them barefoot. We have had infants stay overnight withe family members while the patient is trying to recover from OHS surgery or an MI........

MAISY, RN-ER, BSN, RN · Nov 20, 2007

Wish that were the case here - we have no visiting hours - family can stay 24/7 and they even have a couch that turns into a bed so that they can be comfortable. We have family walking around in pj's, without shoes and yes, we have seen them barefoot. We have had infants stay overnight withe family members while the patient is trying to recover from OHS surgery or an MI........

Can you say YUCK! :uhoh3: I don't understand ever having children in a hospital! Not safe, sounds like a hassle, don't think I could work there.

I believe in having open visiting hours in oncology, hospice or at end of life; but honestly infants! Hospitals have a responsibility to the public to heal them-unfortunately that means rest and skilled care. IMHO Families just drain patients of what little energy they have.

Maisy;)

AprilRNhere · Nov 20, 2007

Wish that were the case here - we have no visiting hours - family can stay 24/7 and they even have a couch that turns into a bed so that they can be comfortable. We have family walking around in pj's, without shoes and yes, we have seen them barefoot. We have had infants stay overnight withe family members while the patient is trying to recover from OHS surgery or an MI........

Oh..I know it's not a sure thing. I worked LTC for 5 years, and I've been in the hospital for almost 4 months now. There are just fewer family members around at night. Lol- of course you can argue the only ones who stay are usually the difficult ones.

LiverpoolJane · Nov 20, 2007

I think that when the negative effects of the open all hours culture hits the hospital mangers you will see an about turn. I live and work in the UK and in the "good old days" when I was a student nurse the ward doors remained shut and no visitor would dare enter until the doors were opened by the ward sister. There was strictly two visitors to a bed, definitley no young children or sitting on patients beds. Looking at the hospital wards recently would see open visiting, no restriction on numbers of visitors, children running up and down the ward, visitors lying on patients beds. I can only describe a feeling of the "lunitics taking over the assylum" when I returned to the NHS after a break. I returned as a ward manager and inherited the worst MRSA bactremia rate in the hospital. The first thing I did was tighten up on the visitors policy, tackled people when there was more than two at the bedside or sitting on beds - in fact even putting the likes of shopping / handbags on patient beds. I know it sounds over the top but there seems to be a general assumption that Doctors and Nurses spread bugs but visitors are sterile. I expained the reason for being strict as being due to infection control issues. We have put up with a lot of abusive relatives but I am very proud to report a reduction in all hospital acquired infections by over 60% and two trophies for winning hospital team of the year. We all know infections cost huge amounts of money as well as generating bad publicity and as soon as the hospital managers realise that letting visitors having free reign on the hospital they will put a stop to the abuse of visiting rules and the nurses won't feel so threatened. I feel we now have support from the management at my hospital and after over two years feel we are now in a position to gain control over our wards again. Hopefully we can have something resembling the "good old days" again when we all knew and respected hospitals and the necessity of strict rules.

ktwlpn, LPN · Nov 20, 2007

I'm in LTC.....Yee gads-It's like a party--a bunch of drunken monkeys on Ecstacy.Mean drunks,too..They will treat us like crap if we let them.I am dreading the holidays.Not only do they come bearing gifts like upper respiratory infections and intestinal bugs for us all but then they feel guilty because they have not seen Momma or Daddy since last Christmas and the fun begins...I should keep track of the number of times I go through the "HIPPA" routine and then have some long lost relative DEMAND to be made "first contact" .Yeah,right...But lately I've seen people-adult people-throw temper tantrums in the checkout lines at the convenince store.We seem to have ALL lost our manners..My aunt was buried today-the funeral procession pulled out of the church and a woman in a mommy van came careening down the road and had to slam on her breaks in the middle of it all...When we merged onto the highway to go to the cemetary cars were blowing thier horns at us....What is happening to our society?We are all a bunch of in-considerate,ill mannered buttholes.No wonder the rest of the world hates us...( I include myself-I was in "the finger "seat this morning-and I used it)

leslie :-D · Nov 20, 2007

heh.

just last noc, i placed a foley in a hospice pt, who has days (at most) to live.

when the dtr came to visit and saw the foley, i hear from the pt's room, "NURSE, GET YOUR A$$ IN HERE RIGHT NOW AND TAKE THIS THING OUT!!!!"

i entered the room, told her i was going to pretend i didn't hear that:

and she best, start using a civil tone.

dtr is freaking out at thought of mom getting a uti. :stone

when i explained why i cath'd her, she was insistent on me pulling it out.

the mom, seeing i wasn't going to comply, pulled it out herself.

when the dtr saw the blood, she started screaming again.

i needed to tend to my pt.

and i had had enough.

told her if she didn't leave voluntarily, i would call security.

she wouldn't leave.

and i called.

meanwhile, dtr is screaming every imaginable vulgarity at me, as she's being escorted out the door.

my pt and i started apologizing to ea other simultaneously.

pt speaks little english.

but i did catch, "loco".

and "no more".

dtr is not welcomed back, per pt.

what a way to say goodbye to mom.

leslie

Nurse_Wretched · Nov 20, 2007

Rock on, Maisy! We are in the age of 'entitlement' and we all need to set limits! LTC can be the worst! I did LTC for quite some time but now I do inpatient psych with occasional AL/LTC at a really nice upscale facility that rarely ever gets any complaints from anyone. The last facility I worked at was terrible! I lasted 7 months and I'm surprised that I lasted THAT long. We had up to 25 patients each per shift and many of the folks there were high acuity. ALOT of family complaints and trashy attitudes. If there was a complaint, the staff was guilty until proven innocent no matter how long they had been employed there. It was a no-win situation. Terrible, unsupportive management made our jobs there a living hell!

locolorenzo22, BSN, RN · Nov 20, 2007

heh.
just last noc, i placed a foley in a hospice pt, who has days (at most) to live.
when the dtr came to visit and saw the foley, i hear from the pt's room, "NURSE, GET YOUR A$$ IN HERE RIGHT NOW AND TAKE THIS THING OUT!!!!"
i entered the room, told her i was going to pretend i didn't hear that:
and she best, start using a civil tone.
dtr is freaking out at thought of mom getting a uti. :stone
when i explained why i cath'd her, she was insistent on me pulling it out.
the mom, seeing i wasn't going to comply, pulled it out herself.
when the dtr saw the blood, she started screaming again.
i needed to tend to my pt.
and i had had enough.
told her if she didn't leave voluntarily, i would call security.
she wouldn't leave.
and i called.
meanwhile, dtr is screaming every imaginable vulgarity at me, as she's being escorted out the door.
my pt and i started apologizing to ea other simultaneously.
pt speaks little english.
but i did catch, "loco".
and "no more".
dtr is not welcomed back, per pt.
what a way to say goodbye to mom.
leslie

What a way to have your last memory of mom....I personally will do whatever I can for families, but I freely explain that I can only do what I'm allowed to do. Families can freak out, but some of those patients that come in from home, families are used to changing, helping, etc.....but when they don't use gloves...i freak a little. When families jump down my throat over something I have no control over, I will explain that and do my best to rectify situation. I had to take a admit last night, cause by the time that ER brought someone up on the other unit on the floor, the bed was not ready, and already assigned to someone else....we took it to rectify family anger....what a world...