facebook "stalking" as a nurse?

[meghan91]

I was just sitting here thinking and thought, wow at my hospital we wear name tags that say our position, first name and last name.

**Does anyone ever worry about some patients who dont have your best interest in mind to try and find you on facebook and kind of stalk you?

** Has anyone had this happen to them, where a former patient kept bothering them via facebook?

** Has anyone had a patient literally stalk you? Do you ever worry about wearing name tags with your full name on it?

**What did you do to stop it?

** Do you think a full name is required on a name tag?

Im not saying all people will do that but working in the medical feild we all come into contact with a ton of people on a daily basis and some might not be the safest people ever either, it was just a thought on this name tag thing. What are your opinons on it.

[BabyLady, BSN, RN]

I want to say here:

The ONLY exceptions I would support is:

1. Taking care of an inmate that is currently incarcerated....to me, my badge would come off and be in my pocket if I had to take care of one..you have no idea of when their release is or the full scope of their record.

2. State Psychiatric Care...those patients are frequently in for a LONG time and are very mentally instable...in the rare instance they are discharged, they could develop an unhealthy fixation on any worker, male or female. I would support this as well...but not when you are talking with family members.

[dadda11o]

Yes, I was indulging in a bit of levity about the naughty bits. In reality, of course, the GI/GU systems are not particularly more naughty than any other system.

One reason--perhaps the main reason--I have to maintain a boundary when a patient brings up the idea of continuing some sort of relationship beyond the bedside is that however reasonable that idea might seem in the context of their regular life (I don't find it odd that a single woman in her fifties might want to strike up a friendship and see where it goes), in the context of the hospital, the patient is in far too vulnerable a place. And I do have to think about protecting my own interests, even in the most benign circumstances.

Some of my most difficult patients are admitted for strokes. They can be confused, impulsive, and combative. Also, typically, elderly, frail, and hemiplegic. But I also see post-ictally confused/combative patients whose only problem is their seizure disorder, and they can be downright dangerous. What's important to know is they are in a panic state, and a big part of settling them is convincing them that they're safe. I believe that same rationale may apply to many other patients. I've actually seen patients lay off the call light after taking a few minutes just to sit down and listen to them. Maybe a large part of the value of demonstrating caring is that it gives back some of the power we hold.

Even in a hospital--even in a psych hospital--true sociopaths are rare. A rather larger minority may be so screwed up that we can't fix them in the course a typical hospitalization. But I truly think there are a lot of "problem" patients who will behave more appropriately if we can win their trust, and I think that begins with understanding why they need to trust us.

I think you made quite few good points here. I put one of your statements in bold type because it actually applies to a lot of psych patients as well. When I was going through nursing school, I worked with developmentally disabled adults. We had a few who would become physically aggressive, some would demonstrate self-injurious behavior. Either way, there were usually warning signs that were pretty apparent once you got to know the client. Some people get a bit anxious and actually escalated the client's behavior-that's why I really appreciated your statements and the wisdom in them. I've been slapped, pinched, kicked at and even ended up on the floor amidst broken glass while pregnant, but I never got the idea that it was personal. If you think about body language, personal space, tone of voice, it can make a difference.

In an earlier post, I mentioned that I am dealing with the consequences of a boundary violation from the nursing side of the equation. Since this has come up, I've been looking for information to help me deal with it, but I don't see as much for nurses as I do physicians and therapists. There is, however, quite a bit of debate about relationships with patients among nurses in the articles I've found. I like what you had to say on that issue as well. The patient doesn't get to know "the real you" when you're working with them: they get a slice of you-the smiling, attentive, interested, knowledgeable and interesting person! I don't know about you, but that isn't me 24/7. I think patients are less aware of boundary issues; I doubt that most patients would be put off by an explanation of why you "can't". For those grappling with issues of loneliness or severe/chronic illness, appropriate referrals to help them (and/or their families) develop skills or resources to manage stressors and life more effectively is a better idea than becoming a "friend". The former helps them develop something that is theirs and that they can take (and build upon) wherever they go in future; the other seems to actually foster a dependent (unequal) position, and I don't think many healthy friendships can be sustained on that basis.

[rkitty198, BSN, RN]

If you are worried about facebook, then BLOCK your profile from being searchable....which is an option you have!!!!!

NOT true. Remember when hundreds (I think even thousands) of people had their privacy control settings disabled and their entire account was able to be seen. Those security account settings are not foolproof.

If you are worried about your profile from being searchable, then dont have one.

I dont want MY name hidden. Anyone can find me if they really want to. I just dont think it is necessary for my entire name to be out there to make it that much easier.

Maybe you would think differently if.....

You feel like your own safety is jeopardized because your hospital is on lockdown due to a Mexican police official recieving care because the drug cartel was after him. and our city is using our police and fire department to protect the official (24 hour survellience protection) you wonder about your own safety. (note the story was in the paper). http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/5483894.html

In a northern Mexico city over 30 patients and healthcare providers have been murdered. I lived 20 minutes away from this area, in the US, but with rapidly growing border violence creeping over, I couldn't help but to not want to protect myself.

So now am I being unprofessional?

[BabyLady, BSN, RN]

NOT true. Remember when hundreds (I think even thousands) of people had their privacy control settings disabled and their entire account was able to be seen. Those security account settings are not foolproof.

If you are worried about your profile from being searchable, then dont have one.

I dont want MY name hidden. Anyone can find me if they really want to. I just dont think it is necessary for my entire name to be out there to make it that much easier.

Maybe you would think differently if.....

You feel like your own safety is jeopardized because your hospital is on lockdown due to a Mexican police official recieving care because the drug cartel was after him. and our city is using our police and fire department to protect the official (24 hour survellience protection) you wonder about your own safety. (note the story was in the paper). http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/5483894.html

In a northern Mexico city over 30 patients and healthcare providers have been murdered. I lived 20 minutes away from this area, in the US, but with rapidly growing border violence creeping over, I couldn't help but to not want to protect myself.

So now am I being unprofessional?

Yes, you are being unprofessional, primarily because you didn't even read my post.

I never said I was worried about my profie being searched, mainly because my home address is on the Board of Nursing website in my state along with my license number and place of employment for anyone that cares to search for it.

I am also listed in the phone book, the alumni directory of two colleges, classmates.com, myspace, and other social networking sites.

So far...no stalkers. Not that I have never had one, but it was before popularity of social networking sites and the proper authorities dealt with it. If you find yourself being stalked over and over again then I would highly suggest that you review your body language/conversations that you have with your patients along with boundaries you set in the field.

So what if you live near the Mexican border..you want a special award for that?...It is not the most dangerous place in America and like anywhere else in America, but has risks. Just like I can walk in the worst neighborhood, alone, in the middle of the night where I am...I have a reasonable expectation that nothing will happen...but you cannot exactly do that in cities like Los Angeles, Chicago, New York City, etc.

I read the article you posted...it had NOTHING to do with ANYTHING that happened at the facility...but simply a high profile patient you had...that can happen anywhere in the country where a high-profile shooting may have taken place and they are not limited to border cities!

However, do the physicians hide their names there? What about the hospital administrators who are probably listed along with pictures on your hospitals website? Are you saying your life is more important than theirs that you get to hide your name while they cannot?

Every job has risks...that just happens to be one of ours...we are always free to work as a school nurse or as a telephone triage nurse if it bothers you that much.

[klone, MSN, RN]

But just don't accept friend requests from people you don't know.

There you go. Problem solved.

[klone, MSN, RN]

I believe your first name and position on your badge is acceptable. The stalking issue is very rare, but can be very serious. I think it is wrong to have a last name on the badge.

I agree with BabyLady - could you imagine a name badge that said "John, MD" on it? Patients know the physicians' last names. Why would/should it be different for the nurses?

Could you imagine the uproar if a patient said "What's my doctor's last name?" and hospital staff said "It's just John, the doctor. You don't have a right to know his last name, sorry"?

[hiddencatRN, BSN, RN]

NOT true. Remember when hundreds (I think even thousands) of people had their privacy control settings disabled and their entire account was able to be seen. Those security account settings are not foolproof.

It was everyone on facebook when facebook made a major site change that reset privacy settings. That's why it's good idea to regularly check and make sure your settings are as you want them. On a day to day basis, they do work however.

[klone, MSN, RN]

NOT true. Remember when hundreds (I think even thousands) of people had their privacy control settings disabled and their entire account was able to be seen. Those security account settings are not foolproof. ?

THen check it every morning when you get up to make sure your settings are secure, or get off Facebook.

I'm continually astounded when people who post on public internet sites have an expectation of privacy.

[rkitty198, BSN, RN]

Then you are a perfect example of why the profession of nursing is not more elevated than what it is.

We cannot claim to be professionals and then HIDE from the public when they have EVERY LEGAL RIGHT to know WHO is treating them and they shouldn't have to go through additional channels to find that information out.

Your paycheck example doesn't hold water...it is a matter of transparency to the general public.

So what if you get a psych patient or a drunk to take care of...ALL JOBS HAVE THEIR OWN RISKS!!!!...find another one if you are that paranoid about it.

I for one, am a true professional, wear my name badge proudly and would actively support any law supporting the first and last name being 100% available to the public and would actively oppose any law to the contrary.

Just because someone dosen't want their entire name on a badge dosen't make them "unprofessional." You don't see me at work, how I am with my patients or know me.

To say you are a "true professional" just because you follow the "law" of wearing a badge with your first and last name dosen't necessarily make you a "true professional." I would never say otherwise to you about your "true professional" statement because I don't know you.

Now to imply that I have issues setting boundaries is totally wrong. Stalkers dont care about your boundaries, that is why they are called stalkers. They don't care about personal boundaries. To say (implied) that those of us with body language/boundaries issues have stalkers is really judgemental and sad.

I was never asking you for an award for where I live. I am not sure as to why you are being rather childish in your response to something that really has scared me. I was very emotional about what happened and to belittle my feelings is very unsupportive. As nurses we should support one another in positive ways rather than cut each other down.

I hope working in NICU, and being a nurse longer than a year brings you good experiences (as it says under your screename) that you never encounter someone crossing your personal boundaries.

[rkitty198, BSN, RN]

THen check it every morning when you get up to make sure your settings are secure, or get off Facebook.

I'm continually astounded when people who post on public internet sites have an expectation of privacy.

I would never be on a public forum and leave private information about myself I wouldnt want someone to see.

Just because someone is on Facebook or has a public profie, do they deserve to have a stalker?

I wrote that in response to what babylady said about making your profile private.

[klone, MSN, RN]

Im not on facebook thank you. Have a nice day :)

Well, then, I don't understand what your concern is.

[klone, MSN, RN]

I would never be on a public forum and leave private information about myself I wouldnt want someone to see.

Just because someone is on Facebook or has a public profie, do they deserve to have a stalker?

I wrote that in response to what babylady said about making your profile private.

Nobody "deserves to have a stalker". What a ridiculous assertion. But if you're concerned about Facebook specifically (I'm talking in the context of this thread, nothing else), then make sure your settings are secure, and check them regularly. And if you're SUPER concerned, get off public internet sites. If you don't have a public presence on the internet, then you don't have to worry about being stalked online.