dadda11o

You are in a hard situation. I hear what you are saying, finding out after the fact that other roads could have been taken but are now closed, is bitter. Sadly, in cases like this (I suspect), the issues are complex and that fact alone CAN make it hard for the police or others who might otherwise be able to help, to determine not only WHAT is going on, but WHAT might be done; particularly what IS best, and legal, for all concerned. I hope that you can persevere ... what is happening right now is not (always) forever. I ended up in a situation where I was doing all sorts of odd things ... I was on a leave from work, because my husband and I were having issues. I still kept getting calls, though, asking when I was coming back, etc ... and at one point, a call asking if I could pick up medications as the facility's vehicle broke down. Nobody ever came to pick them up, though, as agreed. In a fit of rage, I popped out several (controlled), figuring THEN the people from work would "leave me alone". I wasn't thinking of future ramifications, etc ... and won't go into details ... but suffice it to say, that eventually, I became involved in a support group for nurses, run through the intervention service the state uses. I recovered ... and so do many other men and women. I'm not well-versed in addictions, but I do know that you often see atypical behavior as the addiction more or less takes hold of the person ... obviously, as they choose strategies that they normally wouldn't. Sadly, you can't always count on the employment facility to "care" as often, they are more concerned with keeping themselves out of harm's way ... they might fire your daughter without reporting her, or the complaint might not be attended to for some time. Also, commitments, if improperly handled, can be a civil rights violation, so there are supposed to be some safeguards ... not just making a report. You might have, to the best of your ability, done everything right that you could have done. But after that, the matter is left to people with imperfect knowledge or possibly, more seemingly pressing matters. Hoping and praying you can hang on ... and don't be afraid to make additional contacts. In my own life, after recovering my mental health, I've been going through a very frustrating situation involving making contacts with state agencies and the like. I've even contacted reporters ... and that may or may not be a road you might choose to take ... names not needing to be named, but the problem put more out there in the public eye and maybe, some suggestions for people on how to handle it. Or a reporter may have suggestions on who to contact or how to do so more effectively. Personally, if I was your daughter ... after recovery, I would be very thankful for you ... as it sounds like you have taken some personally hard actions. Often, people don't want to get involved or take action that will get them into a hard place or having negative aspersions cast. I've always preferred having friends (and family) that would protect me, best they could, from throwing my life and future away, especially if I wasn't thinking right or clearly. Not "protecting" me by allowing me to continue down the destructive path. I hope and pray your daughter recovers and you are able to have a heart to heart, where she is able to thank you and you have her back, in her right mind and healthier and stronger than she's ever been.

Hi. If I was in your situation, I would look through the Board's disciplinary minutes for thoughts. They are, in a number of states, posted or accessible on-line. It may give you some ideas. I would also see if there is a support group in your area for impaired nurses ... again, this is often available through your state nursing site ... as well as any "substance program" that works with nurses. Making initial contact, setting up a contract with them for monitoring, education and etc may involve some costs and "inconveniences", but the taking of responsibility and getting involved in an (Board) accepted program may go a long way in the appeal. But definitely, check with your attorney in this regard. I'm not trying to give specific advice, but some suggestions ... and being in a different state obviously affects things. The experience you had, particularly if you have learned something and ESPECIALLY, at (actually, before) the beginning of your career might make you a valuable resource to other nurses struggling with personal or career issues, in future (a big reason for "use" and "abuse" problems). At the end of the day, though, the decisions you make, as an adult and as a professional, are decisions that can have profound effects on your own life .... as well as patients. Whether or not they ever come to the attention of the Board ... or anyone else. My comments in a supportive vein because I remember the end of my first semester of nursing school, when a group of students and faculty went out for lunch to celebrate. Several people had drinks with their lunch. I know for fact I can't drink and drive and I am not used to alcohol ... whatever someone else can handle ... does not mean I can. In retrospect, too, I question the wisdom of instructors putting a tacit approval on a drinking lunch ... but again, as adults and professionals, the only wise decision we can really make is one based in knowledge as well as potential consequences. Had one of us received a DUI on the way home from the celebratory lunch, the consequences would have been to the individual. Hope you can get through this experience and that ultimately, it serves as valuable to you ... and depending on what you do with it, to others!

I think there is a lot of good advice here already; I just wanted to say that you are definitely not alone. And despite how you might feel now, your feelings about many things may change as you go through therapy/treatment. A while back, I was not going to renew my license ... I still feel ambivalent at times. But I was encouraged to keep it up and it's nice to have the option ... there are a lot of career options in which your license could be valuable, but don't necessarily have to be anything similar to the nursing you were doing previously. I attended ISNAP support meetings in the past; it was actually incredibly helpful ... meeting people who look like they "have it all together" but are struggling with similar issues; I don't mean just recovery, either. The support group meetings are good for learning new ways to cope with life and work problems and re-experience some of the (positive) feelings lost through burnout or other issues that get folks into recovery. Occasionally, nobody else showed up for a meeting (usually in winter) and I was always bummed to be the only attendee ... the meetings can really become a positive and something to look forward to! No matter what you ultimately choose, I wish you the best in recovery and future!

Congratulations! I just wanted to mention that some employers will pay at least a portion of (degree) classes, so as you go through, it might be something to look at, in terms of evaluating potential employers.

Here is the link for the 2011 edition of Administrative and Indiana code related to nursing. I have read portions of other states' Nurse Practice Acts and in some respects, I agree, there is a feeling of "vagueness". Although I have heard at times that is "good" because if it is not expressly prohibited by law ... http://www.in.gov/pla/files/ISBN.2011_EDITION.pdf

Hi. Several years ago, I went into therapy after my family doctor put me on antidepressants. My thought was to get to the root of whatever my problem(s) was and solve it. As therapy progressed, I started talking to my husband and indicated that other people besides me would need to make some changes. I won't go into all the details, suffice it to say that I had married into a highly dysfunctional family and was being forced to be "superwoman" and it wasn't working out. Tensions escalated, I took a leave from my job, as I didn't think I could be sure that my judgment and concentration were up to par and I didn't want to hurt a patient through a mistake ot overlooking something in the midst of my own emotional turmoil. When my job kept calling, I ended up using poor judgment to get some peace. One call was a request to pick up meds and bring them to one of the group homes, as their vehicle was broken down (again). I told staff I could pick up the meds, as I needed to get some for myself, but they would need to pick them up from my house. You can probably tell that my boundaries weren't strong at all. Staff never showed up and I got angry after waiting around several hours for them to show up. I punched a few pills out of a punch card; they were controlled meds. My only thought was being left alone and I couldn't be sure they'd fire me for punching out a few Sudafed. I did get fired and for the time being, that was it. When my license came up for renewal, I answered yes to the question regarding incidents and described briefly what I had done; my license was renewed and again, I heard nothing for a couple years. I tried going back to nursing a few times but I still felt too "shaky"; I was still in therapy but had been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder for a time and didn't have a clear diagnosis. I had been through some very rough periods with and because of my husband, but we had divorced. I was in college, majoring in psychology and working part-time in jobs completely unrelated to nursing. I finally received paperwork related to the incident that got me fired; I appeared before the Board without representation, my license suspension was changed to probation and I was to continue mental health treatment and send in progress reports. About 2 years ago, I was looking into review courses to get more up to speed on changes since I practiced last. I know a lot of things have changed and I always took my responsibility as a nurse seriously; sort of humorous in retrospect, but I actually used to think that if I learned enough, I'd eventually get to the point of knowing just about "everything there was to know" (and maybe feel more confident!). Well, I know that there is no getting to THAT point, but I have a bit more self-respect and self-esteem than I used to and recognize that I was a good nurse with developable potential. Oh, I had remarried my husband. too ... part of that was due to the laws here ... when we divorced, joint custody was requested but it was given to my husband, as I left. This is being overturned in my state, as it is being used as a weapon against non-custodial parents AND it is very difficult to impossible TO get a custody change. My husband had requested I return several times, which I had refused, due to the way he/his relatives treated me. We spent a year doing things together, with and without our children and I thought he had changed. At any rate, my own health had improved to the point I was again able to be assertive and not be pushed around. So, while I was looking into getting back into nursing, my husband was getting treatment for a diabetic ulcer on his foot. This had involved months of 2x a day IV ABT treatment; he would work short shifts in between, so we weren't seeing a great deal of each other. He started having mood swings and raging, reverted back to a lot of his unhealthy reactions. Turns out one of the treatment nurses (married) was instigating a relationship with him. He disappeared one weekend nearly two years ago and called in sick; ended up spending the weekend with this nurse. I made a report to the hospital and later, the Attorney General. I was devastated when I received a letter back stated "nothing improper" or words to that effect had taken place. When my husband came back from his weekend, everything fell into place fairly quickly. He ended up leaving and filed for divorce. He was convinced this nurse was going to divorce her husband and marry him. I am on something like month 23 of the divorce ... hoping I have enough money to pay the bills that are due at the end of the week. When I did our daughter's FAFSAs earlier this year, I filled out one for myself. I am not eligible for any grants, having earned a BA in psychology, but there is a nursing scholarship and since it has now been an additional two years since I looked into review courses, I thought I might as well just work toward earning the RN, since I would not only be benefiting from the program, but getting the review and updates as well as establishing new and hopefully, supportive relationships. Turns out my husband has a gambling problem that I was unaware of, in terms of its extent. Shortly before he took off, I gave him a Beck Depression Inventory (II) and it indicated severe depression (he had a near fatal MI a year before the foot ulcer). He has wiped out our finances and the legal expenses just keep mounting. I can't afford to move out of the house at present and my car keeps breaking down; I've been forced to do the repairs pretty much on my own (brakes, belts, bearings). He owes me money he refuses to pay and he blames me for the fact that his nurse hasn't divorced her husband ... my daughters have been led to believe that it is "okay" for a health care professional to have an affair with a patient (one daughter told me she would "testify against me" if I persisted in "suing the nurse"; this was in regard to the report I filed with the Attorney General). A couple weeks ago, I went out to leave for my part-time job and saw the nurses's vehicle parked next door, at my mother-in-law's house (she thinks this is WONDERFUL that her son, who has been living with her the last year and a half, is involved with such a "nice" woman. My in-laws act like I died; I hear nothing from any of them.). I kept hoping the affair would at least fizzle out if I ignored it, then maybe the divorce could be handled more sensibly. The nurse is working and is still married and at home with her husband and young son, while she continues to dally with my husband, unfazed by any prohibitions demanded by ethics or professionalism. The year I earned my LPN certificate, our children were small. I attended school 40 miles away 5 days a week and worked full-time weekends in a group home 30 miles from home. I managed to graduate with honors; within 6 months, I was hired for an ICU position which was a truly serendipitous moment, as I had merely been practicing interviewing; I didn't have the required experience. Looking back, I figure the clinical director and others who interviewed and hired me must have seen potential in me I didn't appreciate. I would like to go into mental health nursing, if ever I can get jump-started out of this nightmare. My own mis-diagnosis and subsequent improvement after finally discovering I was suffering the effects of PTSD, volunteering as a DV/sexual assault advocate and getting to know other nurses who had problems (but worked to overcome them, and did!) in a support group for recovering nurses ... all of these things and more make me think that I might have some experiences and empathy that might be useful assets in that type of environment. I substituted at elementary and middle schools for a few years and was promoted to a sales manager position from an entry level part-time position I held; indicating that the injuries of PTSD are something that can be mitigated, with time and effective treatment/care planning. Anyway, I would be glad of any encouragement that might be out there. I am not looking for any legal advice; I feel betrayed by the system, as I have learned that mandatory reporters DON'T report, (some) facilities avoid responsibility (liability) when it is in their power to make the situation better and apparently, the Nurse Practice Act doesn't mean too much (I enclosed a 14 page handwritten letter the nurse wrote with my complaint which outlined the relationship, the boundary violations and her instigation of it, while he was a patient!). I keep thinking that possibly, if I don't get swallowed up by the stress and problems I continue to face, I can work toward educating others about some of the things I've endured ... maybe make a positive difference. Hoping this post makes sense, or at least enough that it can be followed reasonably well. I at least know that I am not in the wrong, despite the way I've been treated ... even so many "support" places act like there's something wrong with me when I've made contact, trying to make sense of everything and work to put it behind me.

Regarding the admissions, if you are now concerned about the quality of your education (which I would be), you can probably double check your catalog and also with someone other than the dean regarding whether there are additional faculty and clinical slots available to handle the total number of students. In other words, it is fine to make sure you are getting what you paid for. As others have said, I would do so in a low key fashion. Adminstration need not even know your name and probably better that way. While I agree with other posters that your numbers will drop (we finished with 24/60, I believe) as time wears on, I don't necessarily agree with remaining silent on issues that you feel strongly about and especially, when your convictions are based on facts. I think you can speak up and do so in a way that won't come across negatively, at least to the majority of people (other students/staff) who hear what you have to say (or hear about it). Nursing may be "highly political" and there are people who ought to be more professional than to diss you "just because" you speak up. I always think of Ignaz Semmelweiss, who saved the lives of many mothers and babies, but was driven out of his clinical post in Germany (and later, out of his mind, before dying at a relatively young age), due to friction with colleagues over his STYLE of communication (and possibly, their personal biases, as I think his published points are fairly clear and non-inflammatory). Somebody will take the bull by the horns and speak up; if we must have politics, better to have those with reasoned intelligence, a basis in fact and a clear rationale and expected return on action - even better when those politicizing can point to past successful results. Not to say that you should talk a lot or anytime; but seriously, if there are a few issues you do feel passionately about (maybe even reasons that you chose to become a nurse), develop some expertise about them, counterpoints and future trends at least. That way, you will be prepared to speak when those topics are up, and speak well, since you know the subject. Since a great deal of nursing consists of activities such as teaching, influencing and communicating with respect to different points of view (cultural, religious, age, gender, as well as across professions), developing poise, tact and sensitivity, as well as improving your "listening skills" may actually help you become a better nurse and patient advocate.

I was doing some of these things before this "recession" hit, so I'm sure the climate's a bit different, but... I went to the unemployment office to work with an employment coach. You can work out your resume, post a profile for potential employers, look through available listings (I got a great non-nursing job with a promotion to sales manager in less than two years through that route!), practice interviewing and just talking with strangers (during get-togethers that are pretty much like a support group). If you are at a smaller office (in a big city), it'll probably be easier to develop helpful relationships. I found a nursing support group and attended regularly. As you get to know people and vice-versa, job opportunities make their way into the conversation. Plus, you meet a lot of great people and learn new ways to manage/defuse stress in nursing & life! Call a few places where you might be able to volunteer. I was working as a substitute teacher for a while (which can be a great non-nursing job; there are also regular paraprofessional jobs in many school districts) and wanted to do something different, so I cold-called the adult-ed department to express my interest, which led to informational interviews, some shadowing, volunteering, then subbing in ESL (which I loved!). Hope this sparks some ideas or opportunities!

I have also looked into refresher courses. I was on the State licensing site the other week and reading Board minutes. There were four areas of knowledge (in our state) where they were requiring nurses to get CEUs before reinstatement after time lapse without practice. I was also active as a domestic violence/sexual assault advocate a while back, so I spent time in the hospital without the pressure of being "on duty" and responsible. Helped me, over time, become acclimated to the environment and flow. Maybe anyone that actually goes through and completes a refresher course can post what it was like and what, if anything, it seemed to lack.

I think you made quite few good points here. I put one of your statements in bold type because it actually applies to a lot of psych patients as well. When I was going through nursing school, I worked with developmentally disabled adults. We had a few who would become physically aggressive, some would demonstrate self-injurious behavior. Either way, there were usually warning signs that were pretty apparent once you got to know the client. Some people get a bit anxious and actually escalated the client's behavior-that's why I really appreciated your statements and the wisdom in them. I've been slapped, pinched, kicked at and even ended up on the floor amidst broken glass while pregnant, but I never got the idea that it was personal. If you think about body language, personal space, tone of voice, it can make a difference. In an earlier post, I mentioned that I am dealing with the consequences of a boundary violation from the nursing side of the equation. Since this has come up, I've been looking for information to help me deal with it, but I don't see as much for nurses as I do physicians and therapists. There is, however, quite a bit of debate about relationships with patients among nurses in the articles I've found. I like what you had to say on that issue as well. The patient doesn't get to know "the real you" when you're working with them: they get a slice of you-the smiling, attentive, interested, knowledgeable and interesting person! I don't know about you, but that isn't me 24/7. I think patients are less aware of boundary issues; I doubt that most patients would be put off by an explanation of why you "can't". For those grappling with issues of loneliness or severe/chronic illness, appropriate referrals to help them (and/or their families) develop skills or resources to manage stressors and life more effectively is a better idea than becoming a "friend". The former helps them develop something that is theirs and that they can take (and build upon) wherever they go in future; the other seems to actually foster a dependent (unequal) position, and I don't think many healthy friendships can be sustained on that basis.

I am posting a thread elsewhere, but this is interesting, especially in light of this last comment. This summer, I learned that my husband had been invited to a nurse's house for "lunch" (he had been receiving outpatient IV therapy for a foot ulcer t/r diabetes). He lied and said he was going to a male friend's. His story unraveled after I found her cell # in the car. I called the hospital, spoke with her and asked her to stop. I was assured by both "that was it". He disappeared a few months later for a weekend. You guessed right . . . I'm currently using facebook for communicating ... but not my preference. He has an attorney and is still seeing the nurse ... tells me he's going to marry her after he gets done with me. She has access to more info on me by virtue of records and observations when I was with my husband during treatment ... you can be stalked no matter what your work is ... I worked retail and went through it way before facebook ... restraining order, had to move etc. Now the nurse has obtained a restraining order against me for "stalking"; by the grace of God, I have a recording of the conversation we had when I ran into her at my husband's job and a receipt for my counseling session (both of which she uses as basis for the P.O., but she showed up after me); the last issue is that I was calling her employer about the relationship and claims that constitutes stalking. If you have a co-worker checking out patients' facebooks during time on the unit, I'd be concerned. If nothing else, there are probably nursing duties they should be attending to...but I am also thinking of the "slippery slope" in boundary maintenance. What happens when they find a patient that they're just a little bit more interested in than the casual browse? You could be implicated if you have knowledge and something untoward happens...I've got two kids and I guarantee we're all hurting. If a colleague that had noticed some of the things going on with the nurse (told me they didn't want to "get involved") could feel the pain and the panic attacks, they might have reported out of compassion as well as duty.