Do you feel that because you (as a nurse) deal with loss, grief, mortality, etc. on a daily basis that it's made you more able to accept death as a fact of life, and thus make it easier to accept your own mortality? Or deal with it better when faced with the illness and/or death of a friend or loved-one?
Does the fact that you deal with this stuff at work impact your state of mind for better or worse?? at all? Do we become hardened? More sensitive? Is this a major contributor in 'burn-out'?
Like many people I accept my own mortality. It's just the nature of and the uncertainty of how my death is going to occur that bothers me. I don't want to linger on for years of suffering, say like a lung disease or a stroke.
Death for me is a part of life.
I am a little less secure with loved ones. I know my parents aren't going to live forever, but don't want to have to go through that. I can't even begin to think of my spouses imortality.
I definitely think being a nurse who works with dying people gives you a better handle on death and dying. I've seen gloom, I've seen despair, I've actually been relieved for a person who has died because I know the suffering they have gone through. Working in LTC specifically I think I better understand life processes and that dying is a part of living.
On the other hand, I do not think it would help me accept the death of a child or spouse or close family member (my father died when I was 17 and it was traumatizing) but I do understand the process of life better.
I can answer this question...I know I can...I...think I can...Folks...I am afraid to die...I have seen the anguish...I have watched people die, both calmly and going out screaming. I helped code my own Dad...AND Mom (different times). I am VERY afraid. Should I get some help?????? (no jokes in this posting) My wife says that when I come home after a bad shift(code), I am not myself (angry) for days. I guess I get mad at death and want to...LIVE!!!!!!
Nursing made the experience worse for me. I lost my son a few months ago, and I was the one to make the decision for no code. The g-parents and father were so hopeful and quite unrealistic about his prognosis. I was the pessimatic one in everyone's view. I found myself explaining why this or that wouldn't work, and what actually happens during codes. His illness was long and painful for eveyone involved.
I have witnessed many deaths in my years in this profession. His death was the most horrifying one for me, and the first witnessed by all 5 of the other family members there. It was impossible for me to take the nurse away, although there were plenty of times when I wish I could have.
i do have problems with family members and/or mds, denying the reality of the patient's terminality. therefore, these patients do not get the care they honestly need.
I hate when that happens!!! I end up being the black sheep on the unit fighting for dying patients right to die !!!!!!
Professionals are afraid to talk clearly and bluntly about the dying process. This is what i have found anyways. I believe some have a "gift" for this communication.
Any hoot. I am more realistic about death dying and the life process. But I still greive the loss. especially if it is a patient and family that has touched my soul. I have shead many tears with families. thanked them for sharing their loved one and this process with me, acknowleged there loss and comforted them that their loved one is at peace.
Death is a part of life and it sucks no matter what you do for a living, in nursing you do witness more death, patients and residents put a face on the word death and you think more about organ donation, DNR's, and your other options associated with end of life care. Some accept it and others fight it up til the end. I want to die after a certain point. That sounds cold and twisted but I don't want a long term vent, no feeding tube, no nursing home, no briefs. I want it to be in God's time but I hate the idea of long term acute care. I know I will go to heaven so I can't say I fear death. After battling near crippling depression in middle school, I decided that I wanted to make a difference in my life and help others. So, now everytime I can I give blood, I am a nursing student, a future organ donor, and I dream of doing mission nursing or even joining the army nurse corps. I want my life and death to be remembered as one of great mercy, loving kindness, and strength.
Chad
P.S. I know, I can't save the world, I will get burnt out, I (have already/will) loose my mind.
For me, as a nurse, dealing with death on a pretty regular basis makes it impossible to pretend its never going to happen. And in some ways it helps me because I know what I would want and not want in terms of care. But can't say it helps in dealing with death when it comes to family/friends etc. No matter what - it hurts, and you grieve - terribly. And for me that is the case even though I do believe that there is something afterwards. Don't know what - LOL, but not afraid of the hereafter.
Guess everyone wants to live a long, healthy life, and then to die quickly and peacefully. But what I hate to see if when medical professionals (I can understand families not really understanding the consequences) try to keep patients alive, no matter what. In my opinion, there comes a time when you just need to die - and all the life extending heroics are at best just going to keep someone alive, but in so many cases, definately not 'living.' What I've seen has been too often a case of the "living dead."
Far better to die with peace and dignity than to suffer modern technologies attempt to keep us all alive forever.
Being a nurse helped I think, knowing what was going on. I found myself having to explain and interpret everything for my husband's mother during the time he had cancer. And for eveyone in the church he pastored. He died in my arms. I knew what we could fight, and when to let go.
My dad died, and we spent my 3rd wedding anniversary traveling to his funeral. My husband died 10 days shy of our 14th anniversary.
More than having been around death a lot, knowing as a Christian that the part that is essentially me will go on past my body's death, is what gives strength to cope. Nursing guided a lot of decisions, but knowing I will see my beloved ones again made letting go easier when the time came.
Knowledge is what helps, so yes, being a nurse did help.
It made me value my existence even more... A dying client of mine says " man can predict the day a new life can be born, but no one could ever predict a man's day of death"... I'm still young, I haven't reached the Integrity vs Despair stage of my life and I am afraid to die. But Death is imminent. All I can do today is to make my life worth living.
Tweety, BSN, RN
36,345 Posts
Like many people I accept my own mortality. It's just the nature of and the uncertainty of how my death is going to occur that bothers me. I don't want to linger on for years of suffering, say like a lung disease or a stroke.
Death for me is a part of life.
I am a little less secure with loved ones. I know my parents aren't going to live forever, but don't want to have to go through that. I can't even begin to think of my spouses imortality.