Nurses Humor
Published Apr 7, 2002
How about a list of wierd excuses for not coming to work?
My favorite: I can't come in today, I'm having vision problems. I just don't see myself working.
Kevin
Annabell
6 Posts
I had a prn nurse call in because her luggage got stolen and she didn't have any make-up or a blow dryer to get ready.
bungies
56 Posts
I found this list somewhere on the web a while ago - loved it!
EXCUSES FOR MISSING WORK
1. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Okay?
2. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy.
3. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Shopper's Drug Mart.
4. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder so, why are you calling?
5. I just found out that I was switched at birth so I am on a quest to find my real job! If I run into the guy I was switched with, I'll send him along!
6. The psychiatrist said it was an good session, but he thinks I'm not quite ready to face work. On the plus side, he gave me a jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
7. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
8. I realize reliability is important, but so is my need to remain an enigma.
9. It seems my cover in the witness protection program has been exposed. If I were you, I'd call the bomb squad.
10. I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.
11. I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
12. I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead!
Kathy
Jen911
104 Posts
I actually had to call in late once because I was honestly stuck *in* my apartment!! My apartment had a sliding glass door, and we had an ice storm overnight. Well, guess what froze shut during the ice storm?? You got it! I was frozen solid right inside my apartment!! Nice and snug waiting for the spring thaw (or the hairdryer, whichever came first).
kids
1 Article; 2,334 Posts
I actually took a call in at 0530 for an 0600 from a Nurse who said she couldn't come in because....
"I was getting ready for work and doing my hair and discovered I have head lice."
If it were me I would have said I had uncontrolable projectile diarrhea.
CATHYW
564 Posts
"My pet octopus bit me."
sunnygirl272
839 Posts
one of our clerical staff really called in constipated....
NEW EMPLOYEE RULES WILL BE REVISED IN YOUR EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK AT A LATER
DATE!!
SICKDAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you
are able to come to work.
SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an
employee here, you need all your organs. You should
not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
To have something removed constitutes a breach of
employment.
PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturday &Sunday.
VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same
time every year.
The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 &
Dec. 25
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers.
Every effort should be made to have non-employees
attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should
be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and
subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share
of the work is done enough.
OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we
require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty
to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom.
In the future, we will follow the practice of going in
alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose
names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20,
employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20
to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your
allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until
the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme
emergencies employees may swap their time with a
coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing
must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now
a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end
of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet
paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.
LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to
eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size
people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balance meal
to maintain thee average figure. Fat people get
5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed
to drink a Slim Fast &take a diet pill.
DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according
to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada shoes
&carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing
well financial and therefore you do not need a
raise.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions comments, concerns,
complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
insinuations, allegations, accusations,
contemplation's, consternation's, or input should
be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.
Management
BernieO
25 Posts
"My Grandfather died" (Reported by the same CNA 6 times in one year.)
SmilingBluEyes
20,964 Posts
well ***GRAMPS*** has THREE MORE LIVES TO GO IF he's A CAT eh, Bernie????? sheesh! what garbage! I don't lie to call in...i save call-ins for when my kids are sick cause that I cannot help....good thread.
live4today, RN
5,099 Posts
Excuses for calling in sick from work?
I've fallin' and I can't get up! :rotfl:
sandstormsdust
97 Posts
my friend had homwork... and her rabbit got outta the cage... ripped the paper to shreads... and so she told her instructer just that... NO ONE beleived her... but if you ever had rabbits you know what I am talking about :)
prmenrs, RN
4,565 Posts
One of my co-workers was doing some home repair work with her husband. She was on one side of the garage door and he was on the other w/the power drill. He drilled THRU the door and into her thumb!
I thought that was a pretty good excuse!!