Evil People

Feeling your pain!!!

If I had the solution to this, believe me, I would tell everyone!!! My last several shifts in the ER have revolved around sick infants and/or toddlers who are brought to me by the most horrible family members. They treat me like I am some sadist off the street who just wandered in, donned a set of scrubs, and commenced to plow around their baby with needles for my own amusement. I actually had one guy (fiancee to legal guardian of 2-week-old) ask me, "Is it really that much harder to get an IV on a baby her age than an adult?" I really thought he must be being facetious. He had veins 3/4" across, visible from the other side of the room. Meanwhile I am trying to get into a vein the width of a strand of embroidery thread on a moving target that THEY BROUGHT TO ME! I didn't go out hunting for this baby, drag her into the ER so I could practice poking at her. They brought her in, wringing their hands over fever not present at triage, then proceeded to change their stories every time the Dr told them what we needed to do. By the time I get my equipment ready, said guardians are now claiming that the child actually only ran a fever one time, and that was 2 weeks ago, so is it really necessary to draw blood, get urine, obtain CSF?? I am trying my best to help her, as they intended when they brought her, and I get yelled at, threatened, and insulted. I didn't design these babies' vascular structure, and I'd love to just pop an IV in without eliciting so much as a whimper from a baby. But above all I want to ask these folks why in the he**, if this long-ago fever was so minor, did they bring this baby to the ER in the first place?????? :angryfire

I truly love my job, but there are some people out there who have absolutely no concept of decency or understanding. I am by no means perfect or saintly, but I can say without hesitation that if I leave my home and transport myself or family member to a hospital, I would never be this ugly to the people from whom I am seeking help.

I don't think I will ever understand this.

Thanks for starting this thread. I think I feel better now.

I would have said something to the effect that it is illegal for a 16 year old to be drunk, that they are just lucky the police are not aware of the condition of their daughter at that moment. However, if they think police involvement might prevent their 16 year old from getting in that condition again, then I would be more than happy to get the police involved.

I have said things similar to this and it usually works.

I think from the get-go patients and their families need to be informed of what is appropriate behavior towards staff. If a family member becomes abusive, they should be removed by security.

I also think there needs to be mass education that the purpose of a nurse is not to be a doormat or someone to abuse.

Amen. Maybe they can sign an agreement to such when they sign the "Consent to be treated" form at the front desk.

I would have said something to the effect that it is illegal for a 16 year old to be drunk, that they are just lucky the police are not aware of the condition of their daughter at that moment. However, if they think police involvement might prevent their 16 year old from getting in that condition again, then I would be more than happy to get the police involved.

I have said things similar to this and it usually works.

Oh no, she WANTED the police called, she demanded it. She wanted everyone in the world to come see her and her huge overdramatic situation and what a good mom she is for bringing her drunk child to the ER. She brought a teddy bear for the girl. Yes, she is 16 years old.

I hate days like that. Unruly patients are bad enough but rude families...UGH:(

Maybe one thing you should think about is this; there are these kinds of people everywhere. Even if you bagged nursing, never set a foot in an ER again, you're not immune from meeting devil-woman-and-daughter. I mean, anyone might find themselves dealing with a sociopathic boss or supervisor, an idiot professor, a cruel parent of some snotty kid in your kid's classroom. They're all over the place and you're never going to be safe from them.

Having said that, you obviously have a temper. THAT's OK. I can go from zero to steamin' in under 60 seconds myself. I'm impressed that you were able to clamp your teeth and walk away. Not trivial at all. Give yourself credit.

As far as rehashing the incident in your mind... it only happened last night! You're still tired, the wheels haven't stopped turning, it's probably normal to be obsessing about this very adrenalin-laden, passion-evoking experience. I think after you've gotten some rest and some distance from the incident, it'll go away.

I dont work ER, but we run into some pretty close reincarnates up on the units. I think calling security when she began interfereing with your attempts at care wouldnt have been out of line at all. Then when the security officer was talking with her *(in the hall) maybe you could have slid the iv in and she would have been not only totally distracted but her conduct could have been clearified by the security officer.

Sometimes outsmartin the smartallexs is all you can do.

No wonder the kid got drunk!!

Are you the only nurse on duty on your shift? If not, there are times when it is very appropriate to ask one of the other staff to take over that patient in exchange for one of theirs because of a conflict. My boss encourages that if it's feasible. Another option is to get the house supe to intervene, to try and diffuse the situation. If none of these was doable, the only other option is to grit your teeth and imagine poking the b***h with dull, hot needles.

Hello Happy

We have this same problem in North West Western Australia, the only solution I think is to request the family to leave, ably assisted by the police if necessary or your orderly. When they realise that the patient will not be treated until they are compliant, they may come around.

Its a sad comment on our society that this happens, we are supposed to have a zero tolerance policy here, which is then up to the individual nurse to decide what they consider 'acceptable abuse'.

I hope you feel better now, cheers M

wow.. as a student nurse, i haven't experienced dealing with a pts relative like this yet during my duty inside the ER, but i know, someday, chances are high that i will probably will. reading upon your experiences gives me ideas on how to deal with these kind of people. correct me if i'm wrong but based on what i've learned, your allowed 3 attempts to insert an iv on a pt, then if you still doesn't hit the spot, give it some rest before attempting again, right? that woman is surely outraged that time. i don't know if i will be able to handle it, but i would have done the same (excuse myself out of the room) to avoid more conflict. or maybe, if you do not want to deal with unruly relatives/guardians like them, try being the OR nurse instead. chances of dealing with them are not that high, unlike in the ER. :)

btw, happy new year to all and goodluck to all of us!

Amen. Maybe they can sign an agreement to such when they sign the "Consent to be treated" form at the front desk.

i agree thats a great i dea when the pactiens family sighs the consent to be treat it also states that if the pacitesn family gets in the way of the doctor or the nurse from performing a procidure than it sats security has the right to escort them to the waiting room then if they keep it up then they get escotred out of the hosptial it could be like a time oout for the family and the guards tell them you not allowed back for atleaast 15 minutes and at that time you will be able to come back in the hosptial and the room if the pacient isnt too server but if its a realy bad case then it might have to be looked at in a different way.

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After 14 years of pediatrics, I welcome you to the overbearing mother and babied child. I have met them many times over my years in pediatrics. Almost always the same profile: let me guess - white, upper middle class, many family members, child shows little or no respect for her parent, patronizung tone and attitude. Sorry about the racism but I can see them in my head. I have discovered the best technique is (1) don't take it personally, I guarantee any nurse would have recieved that treatment, (2) look her straght in the eye and be kind but matter of fact and say "I will start your child's IV, It may take more than one attempt but they will need to be still and I will have another staff member hold and you can comfort her (do not let them hold) and (3) if you fail, state you can have another staff member try - if they said no, they can talk to the doctor. The key is to be calm and matter of fact. Do not allow them to dictate how you perform the procedure -- you are the professional.