should i even bother with nursing

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Apr 4, 2012

No one can answer your question for you, but I do have to ask you "how can one joking comment--and one that is obviously recognized a joke--be shattering to you?" Followed up with "why on earth would you take an offhand comment/joke as a sign you aren't meant for nursing?" Perhaps you are looking for a reason to get out, and this looked like a good one?

You will need to have a much thicker skin that this if you are to work in nursing, to be sure.

RNperdiem, RN · Apr 4, 2012

On my first day in ICU my multiple-gunshot wound patient with a bad attitude told me I would never last as a nurse.

Uh-huh. Here I am 14 years later; I wonder what became of that guy?

Do you believe confidence is something that you are passively given or something you will have to earn?

Doubting your abilities is normal for a new nurse sometimes, and facing your fears, overcoming them and becoming strong take time and experience.

Book smart is a good start. If you are not the best "hands on", then work on those skills.

Don't be too quick to give up.

chevyv, BSN, RN · Apr 4, 2012

Clinicals are difficult! If a patient or family member wasn't comfortable with you as a student, they could have refused to have a student nurse period.

You stated you haven't really worked and yet you beat yourself up and say you don't have the gift for nursing. So you need to practice a lot, who cares? Your instructor can certainly tell the students with cna experience apart from those who have no hands on. Touching a complete stranger in not easy at first. Give it a chance and embrace having to practice a lot. Get in there and practice assessments, bathing, lotioning, etc. Before you know it, you'll be much more comfortable. Hit the nursing lab and practice practice practice.

It really shouldn't have been a shattering comment. Students hear it all the time. Get comfortable with it and shoot back! Many pts and families love having newbies around. Believe it when I say that the pt okay'd having a student.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Apr 4, 2012

im an rn-bsn student and havent really worked. today i was doing a clinical rotation. i walked into a patients room, and i guess one could tell right away i was a 'new nurse' by the manner i carried myself... good thing, my preceptor finally came in....so, i got a comment from a family visitor "how many patients have you killed?" he said in a joking tone, but im sure his wariness of me was clearly conveyed. i felt really offended, and it caused me to look down on myself as well. this really shattered my confidence and made me brood what i am doing in nursing anyway.
i dont have the 'gift' for nursing, and i admit that while i am book smart, i am not the best 'hands on'...i am the type who needs to practice a lot...its just a shattering comment. i already am unsure about my nursing future, then i get this comment.. im wondering if this is a sign i should try something away from the bedside.

one off-handed "joke" shattered your confidence and made you brood? you're right -- you don't have the gift for nursing -- whatever that is. you're going to get comments like that your entire career -- that and worse. people are like that these days. if you want to be a nurse, learn to take that sort of behavior as evidence that the visitor is the south end of a north-bound mule and not as a sign from above as to whether or not you "belong" in nursing.

while that sort of comment is rude, uncalled for and ignorant, it ought not to be a "shattering" comment. get over it.

mofomeat · Apr 4, 2012

"How many patients have you killed?"

"Just the onery ones that ask snarky questions."

Two can play that game.

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Apr 4, 2012

"How many patients have you killed?"
"Just the onery ones that ask snarky questions."
Two can play that game.

or how about "I feel a kill coming on tonight..."

GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN · Apr 4, 2012

certainly, a smart young lady like yourself shouldn't have any doubts about her career choices just because some ignorant pt. made a dumb remark. having said that, when someone makes a hurtful remark about you this person is trying to bring themselves up by putting you down, criticism manifest itself in many shapes & forms. therefore, people like this pt. of yours truly exhibit their own insecurities by searching in others their weakness, in order to make themselves feel grandiose. however, i realize that is hard to do when i ask of you not to take it personal, but trust me ignorance it's bliss. in addition, consider the source let his/her comment slide down your back, if you don't you will give them the upper hand and they will continue till they make you doubt yourself that's their purpose. furthermore, quickly change the subject like you didn't hear their comment, don't give them the satisfaction of a response and move on. undoubtedly, the thick skin that we nurses acquire comes with time and experience which i have no doubt that you will conquer as long as you believe in yourself. wishing you the very best always in all of your future endeavors....aloha pumehana~ (good-bye with warm regards)

LookForward · Apr 5, 2012

thanks for the responses. Im sensitive and tend to internalize everything around me. Sometimes, I lose this awareness.

Thank you. I learned from this experience.

LookForward · Apr 5, 2012

thanks for the responses. Im sensitive and tend to internalize everything around me. Sometimes, I lose this awareness.
Thank you. I learned from this experience.

"internalize and magnify" actually...

tyloo · Apr 5, 2012

im an rn-bsn student and havent really worked. today i was doing a clinical rotation. i walked into a patients room, and i guess one could tell right away i was a 'new nurse' by the manner i carried myself... good thing, my preceptor finally came in....so, i got a comment from a family visitor "how many patients have you killed?" he said in a joking tone, but im sure his wariness of me was clearly conveyed. i felt really offended, and it caused me to look down on myself as well. this really shattered my confidence and made me brood what i am doing in nursing anyway.

i dont have the 'gift' for nursing, and i admit that while i am book smart, i am not the best 'hands on'...i am the type who needs to practice a lot...its just a shattering comment. i already am unsure about my nursing future, then i get this comment.. im wondering if this is a sign i should try something away from the bedside.

some people (myself included) have a sick sense of humor. i generally reserve my sick sense of humor to those that know me and don't share it with the general public. i think this visitor shocked you unintentionally- if he indeed said this in a joking manner like you said. perhaps this visitor was using humor to break the ice and make you more at ease? i'm not trying to defend him but maybe put it in another perspective. however you did get offended so clearly it was not a good approach (on the visitor's part).

if you call this a sign to stay away from nursing, well then, there would be a world of no nurses because we would all be getting signs to leave bedside. i would not take any patient's family member's behavior as a sign that i don't belong in nursing. maybe an apparition of florence nightingale telling me, "you suck," now that is what i would call a sign....just kidding-but really if that did happen i would pack up my nursing bag, clock out, and leave

what i would take to heart is what your clinical instructor says. they are qualified to tell you what to you need to work on and suggest various methods of improvement.

i don't want to say you need thick skin, but certainly you have to be aware that in nursing you are going to encounter all types of people. we need all types of nurses (if you can tell already i am thick skinned). i do appreciate my thin skinned counterparts you have to expect that there are some patients/families you won't make happy no matter what you do. there are some patients/families who are happy regardless if you don't do a thing! i'm just saying you need to expect that in this field you will get threats, dismissals (ex: when family is upset- slams door shut), awkward family/pt communication, compliments, laughs, and some good ole pleasurable caring moments that you will truly appreciate.

the gift for nursing- purely subjective. the coworkers that likes you will tell you have the, "gift," the coworkers that don't like you will tell you how great their, "gift," is. i don't rely on anyone to tell me if i have a gift. however i do heed to what the nurse manager writes about me on my yearly nursing evaluations.

you have to want to be a nurse. if you want to be a nurse you have to work on it. there is no special magic too it. i don't believe in a gift but i believe in myself and some good ole fashion hard work. you have to work on the things that you are not good at. it is not comfortable working on your weaknesses but the only way you will get over it is to get out of your comfort zone. for example it took me years to get a decent technique to iv insertion. all i could do was try..try...and try (watch others that could do it well when i had the chance to).

my best piece of advice is practice your clinical skills and you will gain your confidence but you have to want this! i am not sure by you want this if you have been, "unsure about my nursing future." i bet you have been thinking about this way before the patient's visitor said something??? if you want it then go for it!! :redpinkhe

linnaete, ASN, BSN, MSN · Apr 5, 2012

Being new to nursing and interactions as a nurse can leave a person on edge and lose any wit they might have once had. Being nervous and learning new abilities can be a trying time, often leaves one vulnerable in other areas they once felt confident in. Try to find a connection to each patient with some conversation... it can help lessen the tension and allow you a bit of a breather and a chance to relax when you need a minute to prepare for tasks.