Emotional Detachment

GrumpyRN, NP · Mar 6, 2019

As an ex ED nurse I understand having to put emotions to one side to allow you to function in the department. However what you are describing sounds more like depression. I am not an expert by any means but I have seen enough to make me think you require some assistance. Go and see your doctor, talk to people, get help please.

Please note, this does not reflect on you in any way, you are going through a bad patch and need some help. You have done the hard part and reached out to us, now reach out to people closer to you.

Good luck.

Trauma Columnist · Mar 6, 2019

I worked 10 years in a level one, 80k visit ED and by the end of it I didn't even like myself let alone the pts. I personally think you need a change.

Best wishes....

Wuzzie · Mar 6, 2019

4 minutes ago, traumaRUs said:
I worked 10 years in a level one, 80k visit ED and by the end of it I didn't even like myself let alone the pts. I personally think you need a change.

Agree with this. After 8 years in an ED I realized I had started to honestly despise humans and it made me feel ugly. I went back to my previous specialty (peds flight) and went back to my normal just disliking them.?

OldDude · Mar 6, 2019

Most excellent and insightful advise above...and I completely agree. You're not going to experience some life changing epiphany that will alter the years of the ED causing you to wall off your emotional involvement and suddenly go skipping through the ED with happiness and therapeutic communication with your patients. It's time for a change. The silver lining to this cloud is you can take your highly developed experience of independent assessment, problem solving and critical thinking skills and move forward with the confidence and knowledge base to excel in your next chapter of life.

Best of luck and optimism!

ruby_jane, BSN, RN · Mar 6, 2019

6 minutes ago, OldDude said:
It's time for a change. The silver lining to this cloud is you can take your highly developed experience of independent assessment, problem solving and critical thinking skills and move forward with the confidence and knowledge base to excel in your next chapter of life.
Best of luck and optimism!

I love all these posts. Compassion fatigue is real (lots of relevant literature out now). The problem is...you are seeing folk at their worst, whiniest, most vulnerable - or you're seeing them AGAIN. For the 6th time. With the same complaint. Do you have an EAP? You can get some solution-focused counseling there.

I agree with OD- you are a highly-skilled excellently trained nurse. You can do pretty much whatever you want! Best of luck.

Davey Do · Mar 6, 2019

4 hours ago, achristineg said:
I struggle with feeling emotion at all, even in my everyday life...it’s hard for me to feel super happy, sad, motivated toward anything that is fueled by an emotional drive...i even struggle with emotion towards my closest family members and in my relationship...i can’t even recall the last time I cried...i wouldn’t say I am depressed...i just feel like I’m on auto-pilot and just going through the motions of life and nothing really seems to bother me and i don’t really care about much of anything...
...has anyone else experienced this? How did you deal with it? Did you find a way to get out of the rut? Do I need to leave nursing? Are there articles or studies related to emotional detachment in nurses?

Okay. I just briefed through what the others said, so I may change my post after I read their posts, but I have to say that I could have written the first part of the quoted words above, word for word, and I'm okay with that.

I don't know your age, achristineg, but there's a possibility that you're "coasting in neutral", as I would put it. Erickson called this stage of our lives Integrity vs Despair, even though I sense you're not quite in that age bracket: 50+.

As long as your present status does not profoundly affect your health, relationships, or work, just go along for the ride and keep on keeping on, achristineg.

The very best to you!

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Mar 7, 2019

I remember reaching that point about two and a half years into my last med/surg job. I found myself not caring about much of anything, including my family and activities I normally enjoyed. Yes, I was depressed, but it was more than that...it was like hitting a wall. I suddenly realized I could go no further with that job, and wound up having a breakdown in my manager's office one morning and resigning on the spot.

You don't want to get to that point. I think a change of scenery would be the best thing you could do for yourself. Look around, see what kind of nursing might be worth exploring. There are so many places you could go...school nursing, skilled/rehab nursing, assisted living, psych, ICU, clinic, home health, lots of different areas to try. Frankly, if working for 10 years in an ED doesn't make you jaded, I don't know what would. But it's distressing to you that you can't feel much of anything, and that's what you need to tend to. Counseling would help, too, and a new job might just be what the doctor ordered.

Wishing you the very best. Viva

owlhaveyouknow · Mar 9, 2019

Yep, sounds like emotional burn out to me. I worked in the ED about 10 years before I started feeling like this. I made a change to an ambulatory care setting and it was refreshing.