What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

Specialties Emergency Nursing Q/A

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

Young mom brought eight month old daughter for uri sx, wanted to ask the doc about her child's hair and why it got snarly after she layed down on her back....what should she do to stop the tangles!?

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

The flip side of this thread:

YEARS ago, working in Chicago, middle-aged man comes in the ED doing the kidney stone dance. "I've had them before, and I'm allergic to the dye. Is it OK if I just walk around the exam room? - I feel a little better that way." Sure, I place his wide-open saline IV on a rolling pole, and he starts walking around.

Go out to the waiting room to get the wife. Tell her, "He's pretty miserable, as soon as the ultrasound guy gets here... blah, blah blah."

She says, "You know, ever since the doctor told him he had that A..... A.... Aortic something-or-other- he's been such a baby!"

"Aneurysm?" says I, warily.

"That's it! Aneurysm- I knew it was a 'Triple A' but I couldn't remember what the A's stood for!" she answers, cheerily.

You have never seen a fat nurse move so fast in your entire life! (He lived.)

Specializes in Emergency.

Had a college age girl come through the fast track part of our ED yesterday for jaw pain. R/t ahem, sexual activities from the night before.

We had a patient come in once with a gerbil in his rectum.... he tried to convince us it just "ran right up there".... yeaaaaaa I totally believed that!

It is never silly to go in for a kidney stone. My husband had one and kept putting it off and it wound up to totally block his ureter and he almost lost his kidney!

I have a few as well:

Once had a man come in saying he was in pain, but could not/would not say where or why. We released him after he finally said he was fine. I assumed he was probably an addict after pills, but was totally shocked when he came back in not 10 minutes later with a broken hand and actually said "can you give me meds now?".... yep, he went out to the parking lot and slammed his hand in his truck door just to get pills.

A mother who insisted we give her pain pills to help her sleep since her son had a stomach virus and she "didnt want to deal with it".

A woman who was not even pregnant claiming to be in labor.

A DOA from a man "pleasuring himself" with a toilet plunger in the bathtub (I am told this is actually seen quiet a bit now).

A girl who swore a condom had came off and was "missing"... there was none.

A woman who had period cramps and bleeding, but swore she was having a kidney stone and would not take no for an answer, despite ultrasounds and such showing her we were right.

A woman whose baby "didn't smell right"

I'm sure I could go on and on if i really thought about it! lol

A sunburn. Not a bad sunburn. Not a blistered sunburn.. Just a little pink on the cheeks.

Specializes in Emergency.

Had c/o "boogers in nose" yesterday.

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

Rather plump young lady comes into ED with abd pain. Looks genuinely distressed. Over to ultrasound. Tech call back and says to me "9 cm and about 37 weeks. And it's a boy."

huh?

Ack!!!!! Racing down the hall with this girl who is wailing "But I don't even have a boyfriend!!!" Get her up to OB (longest elevator ride of my LIFE!) just in the nick of time- healthy baby boy.

Went back to check on her a couple hours later at change of shift. She thanks me profusely and then utters the greatest "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" line ever: "Wow, do I ever need to make a trip to Walmart!"

I'm former EMS but can I chime in too?

-I've been dizzy for 3 years

-There's a boil on my butt

-I got diabetes ma'am, I can't help it (ETOH requested by PD)

-I want to give my mom this gift & she'll only come see me if I'm in the hospital

-Itchy vag. (Pt brought a large jar of vasoline to apply as needed. It was needed in the ED hallway)

This of course, happened in NYC. We had a man come into the ER, C/O hemmerhoids (sp?), and they itched. He had shoved a salami up his but because he said that they itched.

He had shoved it so far up, they had to take him to the OR to surgically remove it.

When they got it out, it still had the Hormel sticker on it!

When I was in the military, I was with a bunch of reservists from other parts of the country. This one ER nurse, from PA, told us about a 15 year old girl, who came in with c/o lady partsl issues.

Of course, they asked her if she was sexually active, thinking of ?STDs. He said that she just sat there, looking like the wood was burning in her head, as she pondered the question. After a couple of minutes, she stated, "no, just lay there!"

You really can't make this stuff up!

Does this sound like a girl who really knows what she is doing? And we wonder why the US has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the world!

JMHO and my NY $0.02

Lindarn, RN, BSN, CCRN (ret)

Somewhere in the PACNW

It's a half giggle/half face palm at the amount of girls that come in thinking we're dumb. They just can't be pregnant cuz they don't have sex.

Ill never forget the female that came in, said she was a 'stud'. Lumbar xr ordered. There was her full term baby in her xr. Spent an hour trying to 'convince' her she was preg, and her gf, and her mother.

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