phone calls no outsider would believe - page 7

Got a call the other night, demanding to know if a man could still have an erection when he was dead, if it happened automatically. I told him that was not something I was going to answer, he... Read More

  1. by   33-weeker
    Quote from santhony44
    the clinic phone rang and the ma working with me answered it.
    "when you get your tubes tied, can they come untied?"
    ma: "well, not usually. why do you ask?"
    "well, i've had my tubes tied and my husband and i were having sex last night and it felt like they came untied."

    the ma got through the whole conversation without cracking up.
    ok. let's be a kind here...

    after my tubal, the first few times i was with my husband, i had a throbbing, aching in about the place where my tubes/ovaries are. i'm a nurse & i understand the procedure (snip out a portion & cauterize ends), but i could see where a layperson might wonder.
    Last edit by 33-weeker on Oct 21, '06
  2. by   33-weeker
    Quote from santhony44
    i occasionally floated into a nicu several years ago. one of their babies had a very attentive dad; he was there every day.

    until he asked a nurse about that hormone they gave the baby to make him grow fast.

    excuse me?

    well, it turns out his girlfriend of about 4 months told him that the baby was his. before it was born the doctors had given it a hormone to make it grow fast.

    the nurse got a doctor to come and talk to "dad."

    needless to say he didn't visit the baby after that.
    i had a case once like this. the neo began to explain to the parents - like she does often - about abo incomptibility and jaundice. the dad got up quietly, but abruptly, and walked right out of the nursery.

    the dad worked somewhere in the medical field (? lab). when he returned - pacing around, he claimed he was also type 'o', and thus this couldn't be his child. we calmed him down, and since there was a question of whether that was really his blood type or not, we encouraged him not to make any rash decisions until he could verify his blood type.

    it was scary for us when he exploded, and sad for the family. i got the feeling that the dad was justified in his assumptions, because the mom was just too cool and too quiet when all this happened. if it had been me, and i was innocent, i'd have been trying to convince him at that point, or at least saying it wasn't true and encouraging him to get a test to prove it. she said nothing. and, looking back, she got a little uncomfortable when the doctor started talking blood types in front of the dad.
  3. by   33-weeker
    Quote from ms._jen_rn
    i'm not in the er but, people do that to us all the time!
    me:" hello . . .. ."
    caller:"i just wanted to see if my mom's test results were back (or the like)?"
    me: and you mom is. . . . . ?

    we get similar calls in nursery all the time.
    "could you come pick up brandon for the night"
    "what's brandon's last name?"
    "maam... we don't have a baby jones... what last name was the mom admitted under?"
    "maam... the baby is admitted as 'boy smith'. in the future, when you call, you'll need to refer to your baby as 'boy smith' so we will know who you are taking about."
    (what i wish i could say..."i have 6 babies to care for of the 18 total in the nursery, i do well to keep up with 'boy smith' - i cannot be on a first-name basis with all 18 babies!")

    this problem also happens too often when friends & family members call to see if a certain baby is in the nursery. after the call has been bounced a couple of times back and forth between the nursery and nicu, we finally figure out that they are asking for the wrong last name. i have gotten to the point i just go ahead & ask up front, "is that mom's last name?" since married couples are the minority these days - at least at our hospital.

    we also have fathers who get flat out angry when we write mom's maiden name on the crib card - some ranting to the point you can't get a word in edgewise to explain that whatever name mom is admitted under is the name the baby will go by for this admission only.

    i finally have gotten to the point, when dealing with a dad that is being ridiculous about it, that i say,
    "do you want your baby to be sent home with the wrong parents?"

    "of course not!" he bellows - but now i have his attention

    "well then, the baby's name and mom's need to match so that we can keep them paired up, and not get any babies mixed up when we send them home... you will sign papers for the birth certificate before your baby goes home. you can choose the child's legal name then. this is just temporary."
    they usually settle down at that point.

    (what i wish i could say is "if you want the baby to have your name, then you should have married the mom!!!!!")
    Last edit by 33-weeker on Oct 21, '06
  4. by   33-weeker
    Quote from sherlockchc
    When I worked night shift..for quite sometime, a call would come in around 2AM..from a male voice asking.."Do you have panties on?"...Everyone who answered the call had a different "you need the psych floor" etc. This caller had the numbers to the different units in the hospital, and most of the night shift nurses were familiar with the calls. However, one night he called to the ICU and asked "do you have panties on?"...the nurse, a Philippino nurse said wait and I will find out. She asked the other nurses do we have a patient named Panezon?...The other nurses craked up and of course the story spread throught the hospital...The caller was dubbed the pantyman. I think I recognized the voice as one of the doctors who had the habit of arriving at 6am in the morning. When the doc did the phone calls...
    OH MY!!!!!!
  5. by   Kelly_the_Great
    Quote from 33-weeker
    (what i wish i could say is "if you want the baby to have your name, then you should have married the mom!!!!!")
    no kiddin'...
  6. by   kkatt
    Regarding the name match between Mom and Dad....not all married people have the same last name, nor is it a requirement after marriage. I dealt with it both as a NICU clerk in college, and as a Mom. Of course, the attitude of the father explains the whole situation.......and then the funny starts!!:spin:
  7. by   33-weeker
    Quote from kkatt
    regarding the name match between mom and dad....not all married people have the same last name, nor is it a requirement after marriage. i dealt with it both as a nicu clerk in college, and as a mom. of course, the attitude of the father explains the whole situation.......and then the funny starts!!:spin:
    occasionally we see married folks with different last names, but usually it means they aren't married - at least in my neck of the woods.
  8. by   Almabella
    Quote from 33-weeker
    occasionally we see married folks with different last names, but usually it means they aren't married - at least in my neck of the woods.
    well, folks, my husband and i (yes, we are legally married) have different last names and have agreed that our baby will have my last name. this is because i am the last person with my unique and imo beautiful last name, and my husband--who is a very wonderful person--has a brother and several male cousins. just for your future reference...

    dont work in the ed, but a community clinic and would like to add a few of my own here:

    1. i had sex last night and the condom broke. can i come in and get cleaned out?

    2. i take hctz and i think my girlfriend is allergic to a component of it. when i ejaculate on her, she breaks out in a rash. can she come in for allergy testing?

    and my favorite:
    3. i need a prescription for percocet. i weigh over 300 lbs and stand on my feet all day at work and they really hurt at the end of the day.

    these are just a few and definitely keep the job interesting.
  9. by   BSNtobe2009
    OMG, it blows my mind that with DNA and all kinds of testing all over the news, internet, and everything else, that there are women out there that will still try to pull that crap.

    I used to date a divorced father a few years ago, and the story behind his divorce was sad. He got married at only 19 to a woman he knew for just a few months, and she announced she was pregnant. He wanted to do the right thing.

    She had that baby, and two more, and when the last baby was born, he found out (long story) that not only was the FIRST baby not his, but the middle child wasn't his either. Only the newborn was his.
  10. by   Kingbandit
    I work in an inner city ER and one night I had a phone call from pharmacy. Seems my Soma overdose had gotten one arm out of her restraints and called the operator to be connected to pharmacy and then requested more soma's be brought to her room. The ER doc almost fell off his stool laughing the ordered 4pt leathers.

    I always get the calls: My_____ is in your lobby and they are dying why haven't you had your doctor see them? Your just a nurse I'm sure the doctor will think their spider bite is more important.
  11. by   Dalzac
    When I worked nights we had an outside caller that was a complete pervert. Our secretary would answer and put them on hold and turn around to me and tell me I had a call. as soon as I answered he would start. I would ask him if he could please hold. then I would transfer him to ICU. They would put him on hold and transfer him back to ER. We would put him on hold and transfer him to the supervisor of the night(which usually would be in ER). ,so on and so on. for at least a half hour until he would get tired of it. And to tell the truth we loved it when he called. It made work fun. The hospital was a small one and everybody knew what to do.
  12. by   redding-er-rn
    I had one last night! Woman calls and has apparently treated herself for head lice . She is hysterically crying on the phone as she was unable to comb her hair. She said that nobody would help her and because she couldn't use any conditioner she need someone to comb her hair. Our Doc was sitting right next to me and got on the phone. He told the woman that she should try to contact a beauty shop as we don't provide those type of services. He hung up and told me he almost told her to just go ahead and shave her head! Yikes
  13. by   Pat_Pat RN
    Quote from 2008RN2B
    I've often thought maybe we should hand out those little things from restaurants (that buzz and light up when your table is ready) to our patients
    We actually DO hand those out to our patients that we send to the waiting room.