It seems the stereotype it being perpetuated on this forum.
I was so excited to join this forum after I became an RN. I've been a lurker for a while; I can't believe the amount of nasty comments people post on here directed towards fellow posters. Maybe it's because of the anonymity that comes with the internet, but I'm appalled at the crassness of some of the comments. It seems you can't ask a "dumb" question or share a not-so-positive experience without someone calling you unprofessional, ignorant, or worse. How can we judge a person's level of professionalism based on one action or comment? I agree some posts are uncalled for, but why do we judge the person as a whole based on a poorly thought out piece of writing?
I am reluctant to even post this because someone will undoubtedly say something nasty. Come on people, we're all in this profession together; we should be supporting each other instead of bringing each other down. Lets break this stereotype of nurses eating their young. Play nice!
Yeah, I tried the whole posting thing today and was chewed up by a few people. Oh well, just thought I would share my experience so I could see other perspectives from fellow nurses. I didn't even call anybody stupid just described the situation and I was accussed of all kinds of things. I am the first to admit that I didn't handle the situation correctly but OMG I think some of the posters that replied could have been less critical. Everything is a learning situation!!
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Actually hearthelper, I didn't see anyone "chewing up" on you. I did see a number of posters trying to correct mistaken impressions that you may have.
I don't see where any of the posters were harsher than the opening post, to tell the truth.
And therein lies the disconnect.
People who are relatively "newish" to the internet (anything less than five years regularly posting on message boards, IMO) have a MUCH different definition of "flaming" than people who have been on the internet for a decade or longer, and have been on message boards for a long time.
The OP of the Rapid Response ICU/med-surg thread was certainly not flamed.
I was once the target of a heated debate that spawned 3 different 300+ post threads and broke the board. Now THAT'S a flaming!
Sone people sometimes come her seeking support - unswerving unconditional support for all actions. The same support that they may have expected from partners/parents/close friends. And to expect to come on a computer BB, and suddenly expect a whole diverse group of strangers to suddenly and immediately become unconditionally supportive....that is naive at best.
If one asks for input on a situation, they have to expect that some f it is not going to be favorable. For every incident, that a nurse feels was wrong or unfair.......there is ging to be "the other" that has a different point of view given the difference in circumstances.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Yeah, I tried the whole posting thing today and was chewed up by a few people. Oh well, just thought I would share my experience so I could see other perspectives from fellow nurses. I didn't even call anybody stupid just described the situation and I was accussed of all kinds of things. I am the first to admit that I didn't handle the situation correctly but OMG I think some of the posters that replied could have been less critical. Everything is a learning situation!!
I thought the responses were pretty tame on the whole, considering your OP. (And I mean this in a totally non-flaming, non-young eating way.)
This site is really tame compared to many out there that either have no oversight or have much looser standards. DH belongs to a fishing web forum and he is appalled at the way people slash each other to ribbons over the most picayune things.
The anonymity factor contributes heavily. There's less incentive to be courteous and cordial when you aren't going to be held accountable for your actions. Yeah, your screen persona might take a hit or be asked to leave, but you, as a flesh and blood human being, can skate away without lasting consequences.
I also suspect that those of us in the "caring" professions deal with a kind of internal pressure that can lead to an ironic twist.
Think about it. We are called upon to summon decorum and compassion on demand. At the same time, we're expected to repress many of our own natural reactions. And we may be asked to downplay or deny our own physical needs to such an extent that we face a good portion of the day with low blood sugar and bursting bladders. And some employers not only tolerate this, they create it.
It's amazing that we function as well as we do.
As far as "eating our young" (gosh, I hate that phrase!), the chomping isn't limited to the old birds going after the downy chicks. Plenty of fledgling chickadees have sharp little beaks and claws themselves. Not only do they give the seasoned buzzards a run for their money, they tear into each other pretty avidly, as well.
One other thought. I have seen many students and newbie nurses take anything other than effusive affirmation and filter it through the lens of their own insecurity. I've done it myself. This is painful enough if you can separate who you are as a person from what you're saying or doing. If you can't, then you feel like your self-worth is on the line, and that can lead to some frantic defensiveness.
As a sense of capability and belonging grows, the feeling of being eaten lessens.
Of course, there will always be some nasty Nellies out there. Some people are just bent. But that is hardly limited to nursing.
While body language, facial expression, and eye contact are missing in this form of human communication, the written word, even when succinct and clear, can still be grossly misinterpreted by the reader.
I have experienced this very phenomenon on the news thread where an opinion on one matter, was grossly misinterpreted via transference by the reader to a completely separate matter.
If the reader had not let me know via comment, I would not have ever known of the misinterpretation.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
There have only been two people in all over 2000 posts I've written who responded to me in an inexplicably hostile way. They get real personal and/or attach themselves to something I wrote that irritated them for whatever reason. I just have to let it go.
Some of my best cyber-friends on allnurses started out with minor dust-ups. I might get peeved at something they wrote in one thread and kudo the heck out of one in another thread. To me that's just how big boys and girls act. Like lawyers who pull no punches in the courtroom and yuck it up together at lunch.
I know that naive-sounding thread starters often get overly harsh responses from some people here, but those are actually a small percentage of all the posts. There are so many people here who think "we don't want to do your homework for you, please tell us what you've done yourself first" is soo meeannn!!! No, it isn't!!
We have moderators here who do a really good job (sometimes too good imo :)) of monitoring the threads. Every post has a report button on it! I'm not sure what people who are complaining about the atmosphere around here expect to have done in addition to the above already present features. You will never turn a blunt person into Strawberry Shortcake or the reverse, and having comments pre-approved first will simply kill off the fun and immediacy of info on allnurses.
I wasn't suprised by the cut throat behavior. I have seen it in school, clinicals, and on the job. I thought it was the nature of the beast ie. working with 80 - 90% women. Vicious breed we can be. I have had jobs where I worked with more men and didn't have near the hostility and catiness. I also went to school to be a teacher first and the environment was the same way. Once again a predominantly female career.
hearthelper
13 Posts
Yeah, I tried the whole posting thing today and was chewed up by a few people. Oh well, just thought I would share my experience so I could see other perspectives from fellow nurses. I didn't even call anybody stupid just described the situation and I was accussed of all kinds of things. I am the first to admit that I didn't handle the situation correctly but OMG I think some of the posters that replied could have been less critical. Everything is a learning situation!!